nerdfiles
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 40
Location: Earth
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 Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:12 am Post subject: Eye Contact |
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After recently doing MDMC, I've noticed that I can maintain eye contact better. It reminds me of my time as a child when I would often stare blankly into space, and coincidentally _at_ someone should they be standing nearby. Rarely in conversation.
However, now I understand what eye contact feels like without distraction to thinking. It will require some training as now I am giving people _too much_ attention. They won't stop talking _with_ me. It's exhausting. I still don't know how to "jump in" well or "simmer" the conversation to a close. They just rambling on and on, with all sorts of tiny factual bits about themselves and things. It is quite boring, considering that I spend a lot of time thinking, counting, introspecting, building mental games, developing arguments with myself.
Now I'm simply bored with people. I figure a week off might help, but I'm quite unsure. I find that I am no longer attracted to women, and all I really want to do is read or work. It feels as if I've simply gained an ability to read people better. What mostly goes on in me, during conversation, is a strange kind of "eye tracking." (I've recently noticed an ability to predict certain speakers words and utter them myself.) But for the most part, I'm simply tracking their eye movements and predicting based on their sentences where their eyes will go.
But I am noticing that I am more quickly becoming bored with people (NTs, perhaps) and their conversation styles. It's quite odd (and exhausting). |
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NorthPark
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 429
Location: San Francisco
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:21 am Post subject: |
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My parents pointed out that I didn't look at people in the eyes. I didn't make good contact until 14. Even so, it's not perfect. Enough to pass as normal though. What's MDMC? And finally, I only look at people in the eyes if I know them well, their eyes are nice, or if I have a crush on someone.
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nerdfiles
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 40
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:34 am Post subject: |
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| NorthPark wrote: | | My parents pointed out that I didn't look at people in the eyes. I didn't make good contact until 14. Even so, it's not perfect. Enough to pass as normal though. What's MDMC? And finally, I only look at people in the eyes if I know them well, their eyes are nice, or if I have a crush on someone. |
MDMC is an stimulant and enactogen of phenethylamine, cathinone and amphetamine. It's an illegal research chemical drug that I managed to experiment with twice.
I still avoid eye contact with all at times. But now when others talk, I can stare them down or "gaze" at them. But I'm primarily doing this to track their eyes with their mouths so I can compel more speech or give them a sense of comfort. I agree with your "crush" idea, but only in that my eye contact has usually been highly circumstantial. So I might make eye contact with girlfriends. But most conversation I used to avoid it. Or I would find a sitting or social arrangement that did not involve us looking face-to-face. What's more, I did not begin dating until 21-22. And even then, I have been on fewer than 10 dates. Many of them I doubt my partner at the time would have called it a "date," but more along the lines of visiting the park together. Or going to the museum.
However, now, I still require, when talking, moments where I must stare off in order to think or "puzzle." Often friends mock me for my blank stares and my expressionless demeanor. |
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reecare
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 28, 2012
Posts: 63
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:42 am Post subject: |
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| I could barely make it at all when I was little and still struggle sometimes now. If I'm close to someone I can do it. |
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cammyyy
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 18, 2009
Age: 20
Posts: 192
Location: Ontario
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| If I don't know the person I find it extremely hard to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds, but if they're a friend or family member I don't have any issues maintaining it. |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 310
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:13 am Post subject: |
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| I hate eye contact, it feels so unnatural. I usually look at their eyes for as long as I can which is less than a second, look away for a while and repeat this throughout the conversation. After years of doing this it's gotten slightly easier but I still have to instruct myself with every conversation I have. |
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Bunnynose
Sea Gull
Joined: May 18, 2012
Posts: 200
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:59 am Post subject: |
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While we were talking, the friend who recently suggested I have AS said: Now look me in the eyes when you answer.
And so I began to respond. But before I could continue, I realized I was looking down at the wooden floor. So I blurted out: Oh, sh%t! I'm not looking into your eyes!
lol
A few months back at this crappy temp job, the boss was trying to give me instruction on some useless software he uses to keep track of business. We were sitting side-by-side and he complained, You don't look me in the eye. To which I replied, Well, it's kinda hard to look at you when you're sitting next to me (and [not spoken] I hate your guts!). |
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vanhalenkurtz
Velociraptor
Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 460
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:03 am Post subject: |
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If I trust someone I can do some eye contact. Rare event, and brief. Eye contact with people I don't really know is too personal. I feel a lot of eye contact is hierarchical or even hostile. Of course, avoiding eye contact send that same message to "them."
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ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200.
NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6. |
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jetbuilder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 740
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:17 am Post subject: |
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I honestly don't remember if I had issues with eye contact when I was a kid. A few years ago I started to realize that I had to make a conscious effort to make even brief eye contact during a conversation. When I meet someones eyes, I suddenly get very uncomfortable and look away. I started looking at the other persons nose or mouth during a conversation but then I'm nervous that they'll notice that I'm staring at their nose.
Only one persin has ever said anything about it, so I don't know if I'm making just enough contact to pass as normal, or if most people just don't feel the need to mention it.
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Last edited by jetbuilder on Sat Jun 09, 2012 3:15 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Raziel
Tomcat
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Posts: 1797
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:22 am Post subject: |
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I have some problems with eyecontact.
When I'm in a situation that makes me feal uncomfortable, it is imposible for me to make eyecontact, but most of the time I have the feeling I just forget it, but in other situations it also can get normal or nearly normal. BUT when I find someone interesting it can also happen that once in a while I begin to stare. 
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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen |
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PTSmorrow
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 14, 2011
Age: 54
Posts: 719
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:01 am Post subject: |
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I don't make eye contact because a) i find it extremely unpleasant and b) i can't listen while i'm looking someone in the eyes.
All i can tolerate is a very quick glance like cats practice it -- quick glance, wink, then looking aside. Goggling is considered offensive and provocative. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10181
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| I made eye contact with my nephew's girlfriend today, totally accidentally. Was sort of like having something bore into my skull. |
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ghoti
out of water
Joined: May 05, 2012
Age: 45
Posts: 1309
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| I still can't do it. It totally freake me out, but i try to compensate by looking in their general direction. |
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zooguy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 11, 2012
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:27 am Post subject: |
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| It would be interesting to know why we don't like I contact - I know part of it is that it is a destraction from owr thought processing. I think part of it in my mind is partly I don't like humans much. "I started seeing myslf outside the human rem when I was in the second grade" Also they don't seem to be able to think outside their gray matter. "brain" When I first realized I was not like others was in the second grade. Sitting behind my first crush I looked around and in my mind was none of these people know I exsist but I sense everyone of them. Maybe I just konw I am not part of the normal human race and it makes uncomfortable to feal them - Just a thought? |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5887
Location: Mountain View, California, United States
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 11:42 am Post subject: |
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I cannot maintain eye contact very long only for a few seconds at a time and when someone is talking to me and I am listening I am staring away. I get nervous and cannot fully concentrate when I am staring at someone in the eyes long enough.
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You are very likely an aspie
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