Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 642
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 Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:24 am Post subject: Comments that touch your buttons |
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Hi, most of us are human and have pet peeves about certain phrases that bother us. I was wondering what types of comments set you off.
For me it's when you talk to someone and they respond or talk to you as if you are five by using comments like,
"You're getting excited huh?" For me, putting the word "huh" at the end of a sentence or question gets on my nerves. I find that it's patronizing and condescending as if you can never been taken seriously. The other person talks with no real emotion in their voices.
When other adults ask me where my parents are
When people ask me nosy questions about as if I am a child trying to play grown-up |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1840
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:29 am Post subject: |
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When i walk into my office there are irritating comments like
" So now you have started talking huh"
"Smile pLease you never smile"
"You have started dressing up well"
Some irritating comments by relatives
"why you have only one child"
"why you can't get along with your in laws
"Why does your hubby adhere to all your orders"
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 642
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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I hate it when one goes and compares another achievements and good luck to yours. It makes me feel like, "Thanks, I guess I am not special enough.
Eg- My mom did that to me 10 years ago about one of my siblings about her having good luck. She was constantly making comments like
"You're sister was taught to paddle her own oars (sp?) as much as possible and got herself out of special ed."
Other things that bother me is whenever I am down and disappointed that things are going my way and I feel like that person seems to have it better off and when one person goes, "You should be happy for them. Instead, you're jealous." Oh I hate that.  True I may get jealous that's almost like trying to control someone else's feeling. |
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1401b
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 22, 2012
Posts: 150
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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-disclaimer: all instances of the word "you" is intended as purely fictional, and NOT intended to offend any persons, living, dead or reading this post, and is purely coincidental.
Or something.
I used to buy into the concepts, slander, and sophistry that haterz would regurgitate, apparently at random.
I really tested whether I was wrong or weird or awful. And I still do as a first Pavlovian response.
But there’s a fundamental logical flaw in automatically assuming everyone else is always right.
...If I can remember.
- ‘Boy somebody got excited.’ ... (wow, shoot down my balloon)
- ‘Why can’t you?’ ... (how should I know? why don’t you tell me about gravity, and if I can punch lame holes in your explanation does it mean you’ll suddenly float away?)
- ‘Relax.’ ... (gah, shut up)
- ‘You’re just making excuses.’ ... (you asked me for an answer, and I’m respecting you enough to dedicate valuable mental run-time to answer you, so try not to call me a liar too. If it was just that I didn’t want to do it, I would have said, “Because, I don’t want to do it.”)
- ‘Nobody else has a problem with it.’ ... (oh, I’m the only person on the planet that does, so I’m either the most bizarre freak ever, or a liar, huh?)
- ‘You make everything complicated.’ ... (*blink blink* I make the world complicated? The car you drive every day has about 30,000 parts that I didn’t make, but you think I’m the one causing it?)
- ‘You’re wrong.’ ... (“Well Mr. 14.01b, I don’t know what the right answer is, and have no guesses on even a wrong answer, but it can’t even possibly be what you said.”)
- ‘I’ve never had a problem.’ ... (or maybe you have, and are just too dumb to know it.)
- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.)
- ‘You could just (insert lame idea here) ... (over the course of my life I’ve spent approx. 2 million times more on this than your 15 seconds of contemplation, so thanks for imagining neither I nor anyone else on the planet has thought of that already, AND for getting mad at me for not instantly re-devoting all my current & future life-resources pursuing your thoughtless platitude.
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Blownmind
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 19, 2012
Age: 33
Posts: 823
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| 1401b wrote: | - ‘Boy somebody got excited.’ ... (wow, shoot down my balloon)
- ‘Why can’t you?’ ... (how should I know? why don’t you tell me about gravity, and if I can punch lame holes in your explanation does it mean you’ll suddenly float away?)
- ‘Relax.’ ... (gah, shut up)
- ‘You’re just making excuses.’ ... (you asked me for an answer, and I’m respecting you enough to dedicate valuable mental run-time to answer you, so try not to call me a liar too. If it was just that I didn’t want to do it, I would have said, “Because, I don’t want to do it.”)
- ‘Nobody else has a problem with it.’ ... (oh, I’m the only person on the planet that does, so I’m either the most bizarre freak ever, or a liar, huh?)
- ‘You make everything complicated.’ ... (*blink blink* I make the world complicated? The car you drive every day has about 30,000 parts that I didn’t make, but you think I’m the one causing it?)
- ‘You’re wrong.’ ... (“Well Mr. 14.01b, I don’t know what the right answer is, and have no guesses on even a wrong answer, but it can’t even possibly be what you said.”)
- ‘I’ve never had a problem.’ ... (or maybe you have, and are just too dumb to know it.)
- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.)
- ‘You could just (insert lame idea here) ... (over the course of my life I’ve spent approx. 2 million times more on this than your 15 seconds of contemplation, so thanks for imagining neither I nor anyone else on the planet has thought of that already, AND for getting mad at me for not instantly re-devoting all my current & future life-resources pursuing your thoughtless platitude. |
ditto  well put
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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200 |
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Senath
Deinonychus
Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| 1401b wrote: |
- ‘Boy somebody got excited.’ ... (wow, shoot down my balloon)
- ‘Why can’t you?’ ... (how should I know? why don’t you tell me about gravity, and if I can punch lame holes in your explanation does it mean you’ll suddenly float away?)
- ‘Relax.’ ... (gah, shut up)
- ‘You’re just making excuses.’ ... (you asked me for an answer, and I’m respecting you enough to dedicate valuable mental run-time to answer you, so try not to call me a liar too. If it was just that I didn’t want to do it, I would have said, “Because, I don’t want to do it.”)
- ‘Nobody else has a problem with it.’ ... (oh, I’m the only person on the planet that does, so I’m either the most bizarre freak ever, or a liar, huh?)
- ‘You make everything complicated.’ ... (*blink blink* I make the world complicated? The car you drive every day has about 30,000 parts that I didn’t make, but you think I’m the one causing it?)
- ‘You’re wrong.’ ... (“Well Mr. 14.01b, I don’t know what the right answer is, and have no guesses on even a wrong answer, but it can’t even possibly be what you said.”)
- ‘I’ve never had a problem.’ ... (or maybe you have, and are just too dumb to know it.)
- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.) |
On the nose. I hate when this stuff comes from my fiance. I make a comment or observation and he interprets me wrong and starts going on the defense as if I'm being difficult. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8229
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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When people point out that I'm ''too old'' or ''old enough'' or when they lecture that I'm a ''fully grown-up adult'', using every word to describe how big I am
''I'm not interested'' (referring to my obsessions)
When people tell me to be quiet when they're watching the telly
''You look a bit funny doing/wearing that''
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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MynameisAnna
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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I do not care for sarcasm.
When people say things that are the opposite of what they really mean,
It bothers me.
It makes no sense.
Why not just say how you really feel instead of saying the opposite? |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 7577
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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| 1401b wrote: | -disclaimer: all instances of the word "you" is intended as purely fictional, and NOT intended to offend any persons, living, dead or reading this post, and is purely coincidental.
Or something.
I used to buy into the concepts, slander, and sophistry that haterz would regurgitate, apparently at random.
I really tested whether I was wrong or weird or awful. And I still do as a first Pavlovian response.
But there’s a fundamental logical flaw in automatically assuming everyone else is always right.
...If I can remember.
- ‘Boy somebody got excited.’ ... (wow, shoot down my balloon)
- ‘Why can’t you?’ ... (how should I know? why don’t you tell me about gravity, and if I can punch lame holes in your explanation does it mean you’ll suddenly float away?)
- ‘Relax.’ ... (gah, shut up)
- ‘You’re just making excuses.’ ... (you asked me for an answer, and I’m respecting you enough to dedicate valuable mental run-time to answer you, so try not to call me a liar too. If it was just that I didn’t want to do it, I would have said, “Because, I don’t want to do it.”)
- ‘Nobody else has a problem with it.’ ... (oh, I’m the only person on the planet that does, so I’m either the most bizarre freak ever, or a liar, huh?)
- ‘You make everything complicated.’ ... (*blink blink* I make the world complicated? The car you drive every day has about 30,000 parts that I didn’t make, but you think I’m the one causing it?)
- ‘You’re wrong.’ ... (“Well Mr. 14.01b, I don’t know what the right answer is, and have no guesses on even a wrong answer, but it can’t even possibly be what you said.”)
- ‘I’ve never had a problem.’ ... (or maybe you have, and are just too dumb to know it.)
- ‘You think too much.’ ... (or conversely…)
- ‘Boy you sure over-analyzed that.’ ... (but, you didn’t notice that I did that in approx. 2.61 seconds, so you’re implying I’m obsessive?)
- ‘You’re so negative.’ ... (or maybe I’m more optimistic than you can possibly understand because I already see solutions to everything up to this (“negative”) next point, which by the way, is about a mile farther down the road than the end of your nose.
- ‘You’re looking for problems!’ ... (duh, it’s called preparation, you might wanna go talk to a boy scout.)
- ‘You could just (insert lame idea here) ... (over the course of my life I’ve spent approx. 2 million times more on this than your 15 seconds of contemplation, so thanks for imagining neither I nor anyone else on the planet has thought of that already, AND for getting mad at me for not instantly re-devoting all my current & future life-resources pursuing your thoughtless platitude. |
These are excellent examples! 
Here are some more:
You aren't alone; others are (doing, being, experiencing) that too. (Why should I care, and how does that impact me? )
Don't borrow trouble. (This in response to me trying to anticipate and prepare for all eventualities)
How do you think she or he felt? (I don't know. Try telling me how you know!)
Couldn't you see that they were just kidding? (Uh...NO!)
You are just too thin skinned! (Show me how to trade in for a thicker one then.)
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Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner |
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ECJ
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 338
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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when people tell me I'm "being silly" when I say something affects me.
and when I'm told to "pull yourself together" when I'm really upset. |
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emtyeye
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 08, 2010
Posts: 522
Location: boondocks
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Yesterday, I said to my friend who I have a small business with that "I am making next to nothing" (in the business). This is a fact. I make about a dollar an hour. She responded my gesturing a fake slap in my face and saying, "Bad attitude!"
After a few hours, it sunk in and I had a full blown meltdown. Like I'm not worth even one dollar an hour.
Later she said she was just annoyed at the timing of my comment. But when people insinuate that I am worthless in any way, boy, does that push the button. |
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1401b
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 22, 2012
Posts: 150
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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thanks you guys for the encouraging words =)
| emtyeye wrote: | | Like I'm not worth even one dollar an hour. |
a few years back I was Residentially Challenged (homeless) and mathed that my total economic value was in stabilizing the paychecks of the staff at the shelter and that my "contribution" (for 3 years) to the world economic situation was about $4.25 Annually
I later went past a cemetery and estimated that if a dead person lay there for 200 years their economic value would still be about $30 Annually
geez, dead people were seven times more financially productive than I was.
I mean... ya just gotta laugh...
mostly because laughing is completely inappropriate and that's what we do best, I reckon.
I don't know why I told this story, probably mostly to say I feel your pain, emtyeye. and I'm not laughing even a little bit.
- 'But how do you calculate the value of your smile? huh!' ... {yes someone actually said that -three times,} (I calculate it at approx. $175 per 5 seconds because that's your therapist's hourly rate and you'll have to go again this week if I don't quick make you think that everything's really peachy-keen and 5 seconds is all you needed.)
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Cogito ergo sum... perplexus  (I think therefore I am... confused)
Our Project
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6250
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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-When people say "Hey You" to me
-when people say "Hello" if I'm not paying attention or if I didn't hear them
-if I'm complaining about something like how poofy my hair is and I wish I didn't have it and the person with whom I'm talking to says something like yeah, you're hair is really thick and damaged, I wouldn't want your hair either
-when people say I look older than them
-when people say "No offense but _______"
-when people bring up something and then they say never mind |
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Kalika
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 34
Posts: 153
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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| when people say things like "feed your face" to mean eating, or "nose in a book" instead of saying "reading". |
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Summer_Twilight
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 14, 2011
Posts: 642
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| Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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Other comments that touch my buttons
-Whenever I make a mistake and someone makes comments like, "You have a problem don't you?"
-Someone says something like "Let's not talk about that it makes you upset. How about talking about things that you like?"
-Someone says, "Can we talk about happy things please?" I know they are right but that's so superficial
-Someone says "Well maybe....xyx" whenever someone has touched my buttons
-Someone says, "How about we don't do this or that."
-Someone asks you a question when they are angry about knowing the definition of a word. Then you try and then they talk to you like you are stupid.
-That get's on my nerves don't do that." Whenever you are being yourself and some miserable Susie Q tells you to do differently because they like things a certain way. |
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