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samtoo
Sam the eccentric Beluga whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3038
Location: England
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 Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:47 am Post subject: I struggle with consistency |
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Hi all.
I seem to struggle with consistency... I have goals and aims - I want to be a musician who keeps on exploring and feeding my abilities, but I can barely even bring myself to practice guitar half the time, let alone all that exploring and taking care of all aspects of my music.
I used to take Tae Kwon Do, on and off all the time... I did take Yoga practice but I seem to have given that up too; I just don't think I understand how to organize and take care of interests or things that should get done.
I'm so cluttered half the time.
Perhaps I need to remember to take care of the needs of my mind and body before work rate can become branched out on.
I wish to meditate, get exercise and fresh air, and drink water, and breath properly; I simply cannot see how I will engage in even the smallest of activities if I do not implement these activities to help nurture my mind, body, and soul (if one believes in the soul aspect - I believe I half do personally).
People seem to think I'm doing well, but I think it's the contrary - I'm not seeing people in real life particularly, I'm not making the most of my days and I'm certainly not making the most of my potential.
_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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samtoo
Sam the eccentric Beluga whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3038
Location: England
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:36 am Post subject: |
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I think I'm going to have to get used to the thought that I must get off my ass and make the decisions.
I'm 22 and living with my parents still, and it all feels like even though they care and want what's best for me, it feels as though they just don't get what Asperger's is about.
Unfortunately I still feel very much like a child in the body of an adult... expecting and waiting for decisions to be made for me... that's not desirable - I need to be the one taking care of myself; I shouldn't shun help of course though.
When I reflect, I think there's a lot that could be much better about my life and I really want to make this the case... I wish I knew how to take care of my strengths and how to take the initiative.
The longer this situation goes on for, the more life I'm wasting.
I need to take action and there's no time like the present, to do it.
_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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justkillingtime
Toucan
Joined: Aug 13, 2011
Posts: 271
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:46 pm Post subject: |
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| I have that problem. I thought it might be depression. I have no momentum. |
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samtoo
Sam the eccentric Beluga whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3038
Location: England
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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I think I'm depressed.
Half the time I'm so low I'm thinking I'd rather not be on the world than think of the effort involved with progression.
Guitar is meant to be fun, right? I'm sure very few guitarists become great, that's why it's called "great"... it's extreme skill.
Some people are able to put in quantities of effort... I'm lucky if I even get 30 minutes in most days unless I dig so deep into my core that I hurt myself.
I can't keep some kind of masochistic painful streak up for long though... goodness knows it's hard to even begin with that mindset, let alone keep it going; so I feel cursed with the thought of practice... it bounds me and makes me feel ashamed if I don't do it, and I feel unable to engage in it... at its worst, this is a very depressing emotion to experience for me - all I want to do is music, but how can I if I don't even feel a spark to keep the momentum going?
I think I have problems that should have been dealt with long ago... work rate is just something I've barely ever brushed with and it's starting to make me feel extremely low, with everything else like - being in this house all the time, with barely a friend in the world and not feeling at all able to relate to my family.
But despite this I must take action... but I feel so desperately pathetic right now that I don't think I've got what it requires to do so.
My only saving grace that I can think of is meditation... I think I need to make meditation and relaxation the core focus of the days... otherwise I feel without purpose.
_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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justkillingtime
Toucan
Joined: Aug 13, 2011
Posts: 271
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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Can you go to a therapist and talk about your feelings? Many people say medications make a big difference. My therapist suggested volunteering in something i'm interested in.
I did not get too far with meditation but I do find paying attention to my breathing ("I'm breathing in. I'm breathing out." can interrupt bad feelings that are escalating.
I have to leave for work now so I cannot post for about 12 hours |
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chessimprov
Toucan
Joined: Jun 12, 2010
Posts: 291
Location: Philly
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Consider working on one thing that you think it most important, and then you can build up or change activities as time goes on. You probably like to do your activities with quality rather than quantity. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87175
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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