NoGirl
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 13, 2012
Posts: 24
Location: Ontario, Canada
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:25 am Post subject: Problems being faithful? |
 |
|
| Has anyone had problems not cheating on people they're involved with? Or, for that matter, found they don't feel at all guilty afterwards? |
|
| Back to top |
|
BlueMax
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot...
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 5281
Location: Wrongfully banned by cornflake
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
Sounds dangerous... no remorse after knowingly hurting people is a key trait of a sociopath.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
Mummy_of_Peanut
Countess de Noir
Joined: Feb 21, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 3478
Location: Bonnie Scotland
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
No, absolutly not. I've been with my husband for almost 24 years and the thought of cheating on him would never enter my mind. To not care that you've hurt another is not connected to ASD.
_________________
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley |
|
| Back to top |
|
Roxas_XIII
Fortune favors the bold
Joined: Jan 09, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 3298
Location: Laramie, WY
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:15 am Post subject: |
|
|
Not on my part. In fact, just the other day I was "solicited" by two girls over Yahoo chat who wanted me to visit their webcams for obvious reasons. I told them I had a GF and put them on my ignore list. This, considering that despite having a close emotional romantic relationship, my GF and I have not yet had any encounters of the physical kind (other than the occasional making out in the elevator of Orr Hall dorms), and that she's in another city for the remainder of the summer, is proof that I am an honest person. I would never, EVER knowingly hurt her, and that includes keeping things from her.
_________________
"Yeah, so this one time, I tried playing poker with tarot cards... got a full house, and about four people died." ~ Unknown comedian
Happy New Year from WP's resident fortune-teller! May the cards be ever in your favor. |
|
| Back to top |
|
JanuaryMan
Aspierational
Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 28
Posts: 2548
Location: Hants, UK
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 10:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Roxas_XIII wrote: | | Not on my part. In fact, just the other day I was "solicited" by two girls over Yahoo chat who wanted me to visit their webcams for obvious reasons. I told them I had a GF and put them on my ignore list. |
Those are what we call bots. They are scripted robots that promptly say hello, have a string of cued responses they say triggered off by key words, and ask you to view their cam, or go to an external site.
_________________
"A man is but the product of his thoughts - what he thinks, he becomes." - Mahatma Gandhi |
|
| Back to top |
|
Roxas_XIII
Fortune favors the bold
Joined: Jan 09, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 3298
Location: Laramie, WY
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| JanuaryMan wrote: | | Roxas_XIII wrote: | | Not on my part. In fact, just the other day I was "solicited" by two girls over Yahoo chat who wanted me to visit their webcams for obvious reasons. I told them I had a GF and put them on my ignore list. |
Those are what we call bots. They are scripted robots that promptly say hello, have a string of cued responses they say triggered off by key words, and ask you to view their cam, or go to an external site. |
I kind of figured as much, because they had the same goddamn response when I finally outright rejected them "Whatever, you're prob a virgin anyway... peace". Of course, I had to laugh because I've had two sexual partners in the past and my GF might be my next when she comes back (she's the virgin, and while she's not exactly the abstinence until marriage type, it's going to take more than half a year of dating before she's willing to give that up for my sake, regardless of how close we've gotten. Which is cool, like I said I'm not a virgin and while I do find her extremely attractive, I'm chill with waiting until she's ready for something like that. Done it already, I'm in no hurry.)
_________________
"Yeah, so this one time, I tried playing poker with tarot cards... got a full house, and about four people died." ~ Unknown comedian
Happy New Year from WP's resident fortune-teller! May the cards be ever in your favor. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:09 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| No, I'm an honest person and I don't see the point in cheating or understand why people do it. Isn't it easier to just not exclusively see or commit to anyone and just engage in casual relationships if you aren't ready for a relationship? You would save the other person a world of hurt by doing that and there would be no need for deception. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Homer_Bob
Bazinga!
Joined: Jan 06, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 1288
Location: New England
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:55 pm Post subject: |
|
|
People should know what they want prior to relationships. If people want to go around and have several different partners, than that's their right. They just shouldn't string anyone along. If they want many people, than they shouldn't try to be in a relationship at all unless both people agree they can see other people openly. Staying single and having several partners is pretty common today anyways.
_________________
I have to feel sorry for myself. I’m the only one who cares. Just like I’m the only one who’ll have sex with me.
Excuse me. I’m going to go wander the streets alone. Invisible, unwanted and unloved, a pathetic shadow in a city with no heart. -Raj |
|
| Back to top |
|
mds_02
Skank
Joined: Sep 10, 2011
Posts: 1948
Location: Los Angeles
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I expect my partner to remain faithful to me. I consider being faithful to her in return a small price, and one I pay happily. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Xenu
Dragon Slayer/World Dictator
Joined: Dec 27, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 1438
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| No, because I'm a good person. I couldn't even think of cheating on a partner let alone actually do it... |
|
| Back to top |
|
DogsWithoutHorses
mockingbyrd
Joined: Apr 06, 2012
Posts: 1145
Location: New York
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Some people just aren't built for monogamy and that's okay.
It doesn't make you bad or a sociopath or whatever.
I think it would be helpful though if instead of beating yourself up over not fitting into a typical relationship box, you focused on building relationships that meet your needs (maybe an open relationship? or more casual commitments).
To make that happen the first step is going to have to be being honest with yourself about hat you really need and want from a relationship without worrying about what you think you are supposed to want.
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don’t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth. |
|
| Back to top |
|
BlueMax
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot...
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 5281
Location: Wrongfully banned by cornflake
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| DogsWithoutHorses wrote: | Some people just aren't built for monogamy and that's okay.
It doesn't make you bad or a sociopath or whatever.
I think it would be helpful though if instead of beating yourself up over not fitting into a typical relationship box, you focused on building relationships that meet your needs (maybe an open relationship? or more casual commitments).
To make that happen the first step is going to have to be being honest with yourself about hat you really need and want from a relationship without worrying about what you think you are supposed to want. |
He's NOT beating himself up over it - that's the point. If he wants to be a Glen Quagmire and screw anything that moves, that's his choice. If it's consentual all around, that's fine for everyone involved.
If he's manipulating and tricking people to get that sex, it's hurting people. If he's in what's supposed to be a monogamous relationship but he's cheating then he's hurting his partner. If he's knowingly hurting people with zero remorse, he could be a sociopath.
Just be honest about what you want in a relationship - it's that simple. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Who_Am_I
almost human
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 10542
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I've never had a problem. I don't cheat.
If you can't stop, why not:
A. Find someone who's willing to enter an open relationship.
B. Just stick with friends with benefits, as that's a situation where the faithfulness of a relationship isn't expected.
_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I !!!!
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I |
|
| Back to top |
|
thewhitrbbit
Phoenix
Joined: May 31, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 2166
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I think it's contextual.
If your not going to be faithful; don't get into a relationship that expects it. Do an open relationship or just date around. No guilt, no shame.
Now if you are cheating on people that is wrong. |
|
| Back to top |
|
bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 01, 2011
Posts: 443
|
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 7:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Many men with AS[myself included] have a hard enough time trying to get into a relationship let alone remaining faithful. I am generalizing but would assume the Aspies who do struggle to get into a relationship,if they are successful in doing so, wouldn't jeopardize it by being unfaithful. |
|
| Back to top |
|
