muslimmetalhead
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 30, 2011
Posts: 1072
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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:24 pm Post subject: Staying relaxed and keeping others relaxed |
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That is how to make friends?
Because friends are those who you are socially allowed to relax with, and who can relax with you.
That is what attracts people, right?
Not intimidating people.
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"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive" |
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Staying relaxed and keeping relaxed is definitely a plus and good idea to making friends but you definitely need more than just that. You need to find common ground in conversation, you need to be kind, honest, understanding, caring and open-minded are some other qualities of being a friend. |
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Vomelche
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 18, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 376
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:41 am Post subject: |
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| Like getting a job |
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poppyfields
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Posts: 328
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:46 am Post subject: |
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| I'm afraid making friends requires such a complex mix of skills that just making others feel relaxed isn't enough. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8256
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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| lostgirl1986 wrote: | | Staying relaxed and keeping relaxed is definitely a plus and good idea to making friends but you definitely need more than just that. You need to find common ground in conversation, you need to be kind, honest, understanding, caring and open-minded are some other qualities of being a friend. |
Um, being kind, honest, understanding, caring and open-minded actually makes things worse for me, it gets them thinking they can control me and use me and drop me when they want to because they know that I will let them get away with it. I think, to make and keep friends, you only need to be like that to a certain degree. It seems that a lot of NTs have that knack of knowing how to be kind, honest, understanding, caring, passive and open-minded but also assertive and closed-minded at the same time. I find it hard to be all, so I'm either too nice or too nasty (well, being nasty is not my nature but if I was to try and be more assertive and closed-minded, I would end up being accused of being nasty and selfish instead).
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lostgirl1986
There's a party in my head.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 6284
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Joe90 wrote: | | lostgirl1986 wrote: | | Staying relaxed and keeping relaxed is definitely a plus and good idea to making friends but you definitely need more than just that. You need to find common ground in conversation, you need to be kind, honest, understanding, caring and open-minded are some other qualities of being a friend. |
Um, being kind, honest, understanding, caring and open-minded actually makes things worse for me, it gets them thinking they can control me and use me and drop me when they want to because they know that I will let them get away with it. I think, to make and keep friends, you only need to be like that to a certain degree. It seems that a lot of NTs have that knack of knowing how to be kind, honest, understanding, caring, passive and open-minded but also assertive and closed-minded at the same time. I find it hard to be all, so I'm either too nice or too nasty (well, being nasty is not my nature but if I was to try and be more assertive and closed-minded, I would end up being accused of being nasty and selfish instead). |
Yeah you're right if you can't put your foot down and yes you should only use these qualities to a certain degree but you have to know when to put your foot down and when to say no so that people don't boss you around. I used to be like that in high school but I don't take crap from people anymore. I'm still the quiet, nice girl but don't use up your welcome because I wont take it. Don't be a door mat for people. I just taught two of my friends that who had similar problems. |
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