Joined: May 13, 2012 Age: 17 Posts: 353 Location: Australia
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:12 am Post subject: "Don't be so serious all the time."
Yesterday I got told "don't be so serious all the time" and also asked "are you this quiet at home". I hate it when people say things like that because it really puts me on edge.
How often do other people get asked this? _________________ Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Joined: Apr 23, 2012 Age: 27 Posts: 1396 Location: UK
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:03 am Post subject:
Yes I get the serious thing a lot. I feel like saying 'Well why don't you stop being so shallow and frivolous all the time', but I never actually say it.
Joined: Apr 24, 2011 Posts: 1983 Location: Twilight Zone
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:12 pm Post subject: Criticizing moods
Yeah, it bothers me when people criticize my moods. It's a dumb thing to do. After all, I don't choose the mood I'm in, although I will work on turning a deep depression into my normal shallower depressed state. I have other moods that fit over that shallow depression, kind of like clothes, but I don't choose those. They just occur. If others don't like my mood at a given moment, tough. They aren't about to change their personalities/moods to suit me, so I'm not going to try to change mine to suit them. I see no reason to stop being myself, however that that self feels like being at any given moment, except in the case of a depression. I also don't know how to change any of my moods, except the depression one. I've had to learn how to moderate that one, as I have suffered from chronic depression most of my life.
What is really annoying is that there is nothing wrong with being serious or quiet. Actually, I find people who are serious and quiet to be easier to be around, than silly, noisy people.
My own personality will never win any desirability awards, but I have no trouble living with it. Since I live alone, don't go out much, and don't have people over much, I am the only one who has to put up with me most of the time. I am also quite capable of acting civilized when around other people. I'm just not the life of the party type, and have no real interest in learning how to become one.
So, if others don't like the mood I'm in, or how quiet and serious I happen to be at a given moment, I say again, TOUGH!!!
I get this a lot. And I hate it with a passion. I only talk when I have something to say. Plus, a little silence never killed anyone. It can be a very good thing.
Eugh--I used to get this all the time when I was younger.
As if having a plastic smile painted on your face makes you a better person?
But somehow I get told this less now. Maybe it's because I'm more confident or because I learned to act a little less serious around people...or maybe they just got more serious?
Joined: Apr 14, 2011 Age: 21 Posts: 1111 Location: United States
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:57 pm Post subject:
Rather than taking this peice of constructive criticism and angrily rejecting it like most people, you can stand out from the crowd if you actually use it to better re-examine and better yourself.
Joined: May 13, 2012 Age: 17 Posts: 353 Location: Australia
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 7:49 pm Post subject:
minervx wrote:
Rather than taking this peice of constructive criticism and angrily rejecting it like most people, you can stand out from the crowd if you actually use it to better re-examine and better yourself.
It isn't really constructive criticism if you're already trying to better yourself. It's just like stating the obvious, I don't see the point in people saying it. _________________ Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Joined: Apr 21, 2012 Posts: 67 Location: Somewhere in Saturn's A ring!
Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:55 am Post subject:
"Don't be so serious!" and "Lighten up!" are similar comments, that I am told, regularly. It is annoying and pointless. Why do people say this? To point out my non-charismatic personality? I interpret it as a criticism. What is wrong with being serious? It is a part of my personality, that I don't want to change.
When I was younger, I reacted to statements like this. Now, I don't bother, even though it hurts.
I have learned the beautiful art of sarcasm and humour over the years. I now take the seriousness quote in certain situations as constructive criticism. Such certain situations where I accept it are nights with whatever group I am involved in are supposed to be having fun and relaxing. There are other things like when I am at work and not in the mood when I hear it, I just want to tear the other person a new hole for saying it.
