Avoiding self harm

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Avoiding self harm

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Cogs
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:51 am Post subject: Avoiding self harm

I tend to end up in a mental headspace that is sort of like an internal meltdown, and in such a headspace I end up hurting myself for a couple of hours, then sleep and then the following day is crap and then after that I'm back to normal. It is a pattern which I would like to break. Though need a plan before ending up in this state. The last time I was feeling like this to a low level, I kept my situation such that I could not, and spent some time relaxing at another persons house rather than being by myself, however I suspect this would be inadequate if I was feeling that way more strongly than then, or if that person is not available for me to hang out at their place for a while. I am wondering what suggestions other people have for handling, or preventing, such situations? _________________ No one will tell me who and what I am and can be.

helles
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Age: 42
Posts: 845
Location: Denmark

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:59 am Post subject:

I am sorry that I have no solutions - been there, doing that. The best way that I have found out of the very negative thoughts sprialling down is som two - three double vodkas (or the like). It somehow calms me down. It is not a thing that I would recommend (do not try this at home ) _________________ you are either a loyal friend or you aren't my friend at all

Senath
Deinonychus

Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:29 am Post subject:

You definitely need a plan in place to stop yourself before you start. Gather up all of the most distracting mental things you can think of that will prevent you from getting to that mental point. And have a plan in place for if you do feel like doing X to yourself. Find something similar that you can do to something else instead of yourself. And come up with backup plans for those plans. Personally I've been wanting a punching bag for those times when I am feeling destructive and out-of-control.

Cogs
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:31 am Post subject:

Senath wrote:

You definitely need a plan in place to stop yourself before you start. Gather up all of the most distracting mental things you can think of that will prevent you from getting to that mental point. And have a plan in place for if you do feel like doing X to yourself. Find something similar that you can do to something else instead of yourself. And come up with backup plans for those plans.

Personally I've been wanting a punching bag for those times when I am feeling destructive and out-of-control.

You are right about needing a plan. I don't know though, I think I need something non-physical that will calm me down, however I dont know much about calming things. The only thing I can think of is hanging out at a friends house, however this would not work if the friend was not available. My weighted blanket is normally calming, although when I'm in a worse headspace it is inadequate, sometimes I will fold it up and concentrate all the weight on one part of me, that feels good, though is not exactly calming. How do I find other calming things?
_________________
No one will tell me who and what I am and can be.

helles
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Age: 42
Posts: 845
Location: Denmark

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:42 am Post subject:

In milder cases I can do something Go into the garden and do soemthing physical, like digging Take a walk in the forest - until I am exhausted Read something I really like to read Special interest (not working at the moment, unfortunately) Helle

Cogs
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:54 am Post subject:

helles wrote:

In milder cases I can do something

Go into the garden and do soemthing physical, like digging
Take a walk in the forest - until I am exhausted
Read something I really like to read
Special interest (not working at the moment, unfortunately)

Helle

I dont like shooting down suggestions, however something physical is not an option and in the headspace I end up in intellectual is not going to work either. So physically venting it wont work, and intellectual distraction wont work, which is why I think I need something calming, however I don't know how to find calming.
_________________
No one will tell me who and what I am and can be.

helles
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Age: 42
Posts: 845
Location: Denmark

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:09 am Post subject:

Cogs wrote:

I know that there are several suggestions in the mindfulness litterature. I also know that none of them work for me. My suggestions only work for me, if it is not a bad case of downward Spiral of Negative Thinking. If it is really bad (which is new to me, due to new external circumstances), I don´t know what to do (except selfharm and drinking, which I guess, is some kind of selfharm as well).

So, if any suggestions turn up, I would also like to know about it Smile

_________________
you are either a loyal friend or you aren't my friend at all

Senath
Deinonychus

Joined: May 17, 2012
Posts: 357

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:18 pm Post subject:

I know you say something physical is not an option, and I don't know what your circumstances are, but even if you have limits, if you can do any sort of exhausting exercise at all it will be beneficial, just from a biochemical standpoint. You get cortisol and adrenaline built up in your body causing actual physical harm to your brain and thought patterns (in addition to your body). When you exercise, the cortisol levels decrease, endorphins are released, and you should feel better mentally. Walking for a few miles won't do it though, it has to be cardiovascular exertion to the point of sweating (I would say for at least 10 minutes) and what usually follows is the inability to hold a conversation without getting winded. The hard part is finding something that you don't absolutely hate doing (and getting started doing it), but tell yourself to at least do the exercise for 5 minutes. Once you actually get started it should be easier. Then just try playing a game in your head to push yourself a little farther before you stop. Remind yourself that even though the work is difficult and painful, it will all be over in less than x minutes. Of course, if you have any medical problems or are not physically active at all you need to talk to a doctor about what your maximum exertion level should be to start.

Cogs
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 10:00 pm Post subject:

Senath wrote:

I know you say something physical is not an option, and I don't know what your circumstances are, but even if you have limits, if you can do any sort of exhausting exercise at all it will be beneficial, just from a biochemical standpoint. You get cortisol and adrenaline built up in your body causing actual physical harm to your brain and thought patterns (in addition to your body). When you exercise, the cortisol levels decrease, endorphins are released, and you should feel better mentally. Walking for a few miles won't do it though, it has to be cardiovascular exertion to the point of sweating (I would say for at least 10 minutes) and what usually follows is the inability to hold a conversation without getting winded.

The hard part is finding something that you don't absolutely hate doing (and getting started doing it), but tell yourself to at least do the exercise for 5 minutes. Once you actually get started it should be easier. Then just try playing a game in your head to push yourself a little farther before you stop. Remind yourself that even though the work is difficult and painful, it will all be over in less than x minutes. Of course, if you have any medical problems or are not physically active at all you need to talk to a doctor about what your maximum exertion level should be to start.

That is interesting about the exercise changing things biochemically. I do have a list of exercises from various health professionals, however in times like this is about I have little motivation to do things that are difficult and no self control to do them in the controlled and careful manner that would support my body, so need a non-physical alternative.
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Phoenix

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Age: 38
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Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:02 pm Post subject:

Sweet Pea hugs _________________ The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/Cocknee/Kinks/Sweet%20Pea%20Smileys/ Other: http://www.mybrowsercash.com/