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I see relationships as pointless. 1, 2, 3, 4  Next  
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Psychocandy
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:14 pm    Post subject: I see relationships as pointless. Reply with quote

Can anybody else relate to this?

For my entire life, I've always thought "love" and relationships were boring, restrictive, and nothing but trouble.

Into my late teens, this has not changed - I have not had one "crush" or experienced "love."

I'd find the idea of having to go out and meet a girl, socialise and keep up commitments a bit too frightening

and I'm a person who enjoys being alone and having my space, so a clingy girlfriend would be torture for me.

Does anybody else see eye to eye with what I've just written or am I the only aspie who doesn't even want a relationship?
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HisDivineMajesty
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you're a guy, a relationship probably isn't your top priority to begin with.
You don't need any form of autism for that. Very Happy
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Psychocandy
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
If you're a guy, a relationship probably isn't your top priority to begin with.
You don't need any form of autism for that. Very Happy


I just don't understand why people are so mad about being "in a relationship."

There are an awful a lot of people that also say being a virgin makes you a "loser" and I usually roll my eyes at that.

Why do people think having sex makes them successful? It just seems completely redundant to me, and I find it very

moronic that people are so desperate to be viewed as "cool" by others by going around being man-whores.
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bizboy1
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't see them as pointless. They definitely have a function. For me, I have too many issues to get involved in a relationship. I would much prefer sex with no strings attached.
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JanuaryMan
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's great for you that you feel indifferent with or without sex, romance and commitment as for many on this board it seems to be their goal or one thing they think about. You are free from the morbid cycle of wanting something and not getting it.

However, isn't going to a Love & Dating section to share this redundant in itself?
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Psychocandy
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JanuaryMan wrote:
I think it's great for you that you feel indifferent with or without sex, romance and commitment as for many on this board it seems to be their goal or one thing they think about. You are free from the morbid cycle of wanting something and not getting it.

However, isn't going to a Love & Dating section to share this redundant in itself?


I can see why people would view it as redundant, but I'm more curious as to WHY people want relationships in the first place. I should

have mentioned that in the post, I guess.
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JanuaryMan
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm. I definitely wouldn't say I need one. Have difficulty saying I'd want one. I guess I would like one but I'm not bothered.

A lot of people will seek relationships for co-dependence and thinking it will bring them happiness. Others want the sex and intimacy on the tap. And some like being supported. Others do it for status reasons. Others insecurity. Some want to start a family. Some have a lot of love and they want to share it. There's a broad spectrum of reasons involved.

If you are looking for personal testimonies I guess I enjoy the company of a friend that also happens to be a pretty woman I can occasionally do romantic and naughty things with lol.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Why do people think having sex makes them successful?

Because that is what life is all about. Surviving through your childhood, creating offspring, protecting them and then finally dying. People are seeking for sex because they are genetically programmed to do that. Reproduction equals winning.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps you are asexual? Or maybe relationships just aren't for you. In the past there was more recognition that some people might choose to be single and there was a place in society for people who felt that way. I think these days there is an idea that choosing to live your life single is somehow a 'lesser' choice and I think that's a shame and also very inaccurate. It's possible that your feelings will change over time, but if not then it's perfectly acceptable to feel that way and live your life as you choose.
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JanuaryMan
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SilkySifaka wrote:
Perhaps you are asexual? Or maybe relationships just aren't for you. In the past there was more recognition that some people might choose to be single and there was a place in society for people who felt that way. I think these days there is an idea that choosing to live your life single is somehow a 'lesser' choice and I think that's a shame and also very inaccurate. It's possible that your feelings will change over time, but if not then it's perfectly acceptable to feel that way and live your life as you choose.


I do think this to be true. In the past when I was young I used to love the idea of being older because I could be a free spirit on my own and would be respected for my decision. Now it seems overpopulating our cities with vile people we cannot sustain is a very popular notion and is vigorously enforced onto people in our society.

Hopefully in 20-30 years technology will advance, corporatism will see a slump and people will start using their brains again.

Yes, in short relationships aren't for everyone.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:21 pm    Post subject: Re: I see relationships as pointless. Reply with quote

Psychocandy wrote:
Can anybody else relate to this?

For my entire life, I've always thought "love" and relationships were boring, restrictive, and nothing but trouble.

Rationally thinking you are correct, but the biochemical reaction of "love" is powerful and it makes people unable to see things the rational way. Many things may seem boring if you have never experienced them because your brain doesn't know what they are like. But when it gets a taste of the intoxication it will get re-programmed
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edgewaters
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Psychocandy wrote:
I can see why people would view it as redundant, but I'm more curious as to WHY people want relationships in the first place.


Mainly just to have one person you can trust, who will be your ally. It's hard, in life, having to keep your guard up with everyone all the time. Its nice to have just one person, with whom you don't have to. That's the ideal, anyhow. It can certainly fall well short of that.

Quote:
I'd find the idea of having to go out and meet a girl, socialise and keep up commitments a bit too frightening and I'm a person who enjoys being alone and having my space, so a clingy girlfriend would be torture for me.


It's not necessarily like that - you might, perhaps even by accident, meet one who doesn't like to go out and socialize and also enjoys being alone.

Quote:
There are an awful a lot of people that also say being a virgin makes you a "loser" and I usually roll my eyes at that.


Good.

Quote:
Why do people think having sex makes them successful?


I have no idea. If you truly don't need that or a relationship, I think you're rather lucky to be so self-sufficient. Just be sure you're not fooling yourself:

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Kinme
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My best friend who has similar interests, I spend all my time with, and feel/give affection toward. That's how I see it. I can't be affectionate with anyone else besides that person; I wouldn't want to be. I don't exactly see how it's pointless, but I can understand for the most part. I wasn't in a relationship and was content with my life, but when I found the person that I'm with now, I've felt much happier and have someone to spend life with.
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aSKperger
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
But when it gets a taste of the intoxication it will get re-programmed
not necessarily. There are plenty of people either asexual, ascetic, self-sufficient or disappointed so much, that they do not need anyone anymore.
And this people always pushed the limits in the history. If you think of it, relationship is kind of obstacle in becoming superman/ubermensch Laughing
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
There are plenty of people either asexual, ascetic, self-sufficient or disappointed so much, that they do not need anyone anymore.

Maybe they have dysfunctional genome? Or maybe it's genetic altruism? They are sacrificing their natural instincts (i.e. reproduction) in order to contribute to the survival of the human race.
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