Blech

klassobanieras · Snowy Owl Joined: Jun 08, 2006 Posts: 139 Location: Athens

Hello all,

I've been feeling increasingly crappy recently, and had to unload it all somewhere.

I recently moved to Greece, in an effort to jump-start my life and get out of the rut I was stuck in in England. Since moving here though, I've managed to get back into my rut disturbingly quickly...I just managed to go an entire week without seeing anyone I know, or speaking to anyone for more than a few minutes. It doesn't help that Greece is a hyper-social country which appears to place very little value on aspie virtues.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life being lonely and alone, but I can't really see it working out any other way. In theory I want a social-life, but in reality, I just don't like doing any of the stuff it would involve. Likewise, I badly need some intimacy, but I just can't see how I'd cope with the strain of having to act normal with a girlfriend.

So I fill my time with programming and videogames and tv and movies, and manage to keep myself busy enough that these thoughts don't surface too often. But when I do stop and think about it, I feel horrible. Not tearing-my-hair-out horrible, just overwhelmingly sad and resigned.

Someone please tell me this isn't going to be the rest of my life.
_________________
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
-- Samuel Beckett