My cousin is so good at making friends, I'm jealous of her

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I have a 21-year-old cousin who is brilliant at making friends. Some she has kept for years, others do fall out or drift apart, but otherwise I wouldn't say she is bad with finding friends. I wish I could be like that, but even when I try to form closer relationships with people, I get accused of ''following them'' or ''demanding them'' or ''not giving them enough space''. It becomes hurtful. So now when I feel a friendship coming on, I kind of keep a fair distance, which then unintentionally tricks the other party into thinking that I'm not being friendly enough. It's like you've just got to get it just right.

But my cousin can make a friend and be invited back to their house or out with them within the same week of meeting them, and sometimes she even forms a friendship close enough to be going on vacations with them. I don't know how she does it. I've never been on vacation with anyone outside my family in my life. I would love to share that experience with someone.

I am not bad with reading body language and all of that stuff. I think it's just because I'm shy with people and frightened that I'm going to make a social faux pas or that they might judge me or something. I think I am too polite as well, which makes me comes across as nervous. I just don't know how some NTs can almost live in each other's pockets (as in always spending time together as friends), and they don't whine to give each other space. But me, I just try to plan to meet up for lunch some time, and I'm not giving them enough space.

It's no good asking my cousin for advice either because I'll still get it wrong somehow. I think it all boils down to confidence, which is one thing my cousin has got and I haven't. Some things just aren't fair in life. Anyone agree?

Nothing in life is fair. C'est la vie.

I have made a friend or two pretty nearly that quickly, but in both cases, we shared obsessive personal interests and both I strongly suspect were somewhere on the ASD spectrum themselves.

As for vacationing together and living in each others' pockets - blech! That would drive me crazy. I don't want to hang around with anyone THAT much.

I don't know if I really wish making friends was easier, as much as I wish I met people with whom I shared things in common, more often. Then I would have all the friends I could handle.

Your peers obviously do not like you because they find you annoying,
be sure to not to follow people around because they don't like it (unless if they are friends),
if there is a group of people having a conversation join in (they won't mind too much),
when you are around people you have to think how other people feel but not being over-the-top with it.
It is best for you to keep quiet when your brain is full of nonsense because the last thing people want to hear is nonsense,
when you are talking to someone it is best to talk about what they are interested in, and be sure not to talk about yourself.

For an aspie it takes alot of time and effort to improve social skills and is very stressful for such an individual, but you can succeed. To do anything remarkable you need confidence and without it you would not achieve much in life,
and never give up! remember that.

Don't worry if you fail because if you had very good social skills you would have talked to more people, but that does not necessarily mean you would have more true friends.
There is a difference between true friends and "friend"s, your cousin may appear to have more "friends" but may only have very few true friends.

I have a brother who's a little popular and good at making friends. I'm kind of jealous of him, but I'm mostly just happy for him. I'm happy that he doesn't struggle to get along with others like I do, because I want what's best for him. I've always been lucky enough to have a few friends and I don't know how to help you form friendships. Please tell me if you learn exactly how to make friends

I know what you mean. I have met people like that and I would do almost anything to have that skill.
It isn't just confidence. I think they get confidence as a result of having that skill.

It can surely be learned with some effort, practice and the right instructive books. Even if we don't get as good at it as they are we can probably get a lot better than we are.

I have a 21-year-old cousin who is brilliant at making friends. Some she has kept for years, others do fall out or drift apart, but otherwise I wouldn't say she is bad with finding friends. I wish I could be like that, but even when I try to form closer relationships with people, I get accused of ''following them'' or ''demanding them'' or ''not giving them enough space''. It becomes hurtful. So now when I feel a friendship coming on, I kind of keep a fair distance, which then unintentionally tricks the other party into thinking that I'm not being friendly enough. It's like you've just got to get it just right.

But my cousin can make a friend and be invited back to their house or out with them within the same week of meeting them, and sometimes she even forms a friendship close enough to be going on vacations with them. I don't know how she does it. I've never been on vacation with anyone outside my family in my life. I would love to share that experience with someone.

I am not bad with reading body language and all of that stuff. I think it's just because I'm shy with people and frightened that I'm going to make a social faux pas or that they might judge me or something. I think I am too polite as well, which makes me comes across as nervous. I just don't know how some NTs can almost live in each other's pockets (as in always spending time together as friends), and they don't whine to give each other space. But me, I just try to plan to meet up for lunch some time, and I'm not giving them enough space.

It's no good asking my cousin for advice either because I'll still get it wrong somehow. I think it all boils down to confidence, which is one thing my cousin has got and I haven't. Some things just aren't fair in life. Anyone agree?