Anxious and feeling stuck.

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I am sorry if this post comes off as whining. I just don't really have anyone I feel that I can talk to regarding family issues as of late. Most of my family gossips, and can't keep anything to them self, so it just ends up with further conflict.
I guess a little back story first. I currently live with my Dad. I will be 27 yrs old on the 25th this month. I was diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers), Insomnia, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in August 2013. I lost my job in feb 2012, and within a few months was diagnosed with IBS after years of going to Dr's for digestive issues. Then I got really sick a couple months before the end of 2012 to find out that I also have Grave's Disease. Went to my gyno near July 2013 and found out that I also have moderate PCOS (yay!). I'm still seeing a few of the doctors since there are other health issues to yet work out. And I'm obviously broke from little to no income and mountains of medical bills from Dr's, lab work, meds, radiation, insurance ect. I had money saved up from my job that got tapped out, and I sell jewelry on an online shop, but it doesn't make enough to pay bills yet. Currently still waiting to hear back from the medicaid office. <.<

My physical and mental health issues effect my ability to sleep, eat, and even interact on a daily basis, and I feel like my Dad (and family) don't understand that at all. Even when I try to explain certain things to them, I feel that I am just being brushed off. I often have bouts where I will sleep for 1-3 hours a night for consecutive days until my body finally gives out to a degree. Then I crash for the usual 8-12 hour stints for a couple days. This is usually from medication issues, nausea, anxiety, and just general insomnia related junk. I am anxious a lot and try to hide it, because I often get criticized when I am acting "weirder than usual" as they usually tell me. And I also tend to do weird things when I am sleep deprived, that at the time, seems perfectly normal to me.

An example would be, when I'm trying to finally get some sleep after days of getting maybe 1-2 hrs of rest, my sister, her boyfriend, Dad, and his Significant other will come over making a major racket around 7-9 in the morning after I just finally fell asleep around 5. When my sister comes by to drop her dogs off, it's also often early in the morning. They whine in the laundry room for hours 15 feet away from my room keeping me awake. Or they get put in the back yard and bark for hours, which is also directly behind my paper-thin-walled room. Admittedly I have always been the bit of a night owl for as long as I can remember. When I confront Dad though, he says things like how I should just go to sleep earlier (yeh right!) as if it's easy to just lay down and you know...sleep. That I'm being stubborn, or get those squishy earplugs when I can't wear them (They hurt after a few minutes). I have told him countless times that earplugs are not an option. We're also on a pier and beam Double Wide home (that's very small) with thin walls, so the vibrations part of the reason why I wake up constantly. He just keeps giving me a haphazard apology and doesn't actually try to curb the behavior at all.

Another example of how I don't think they really understand or care...My 22 year old Sister keeps dropping her two dogs off at the house without telling me beforehand, since my dad insists on it every single time. I really don't want them in my house. They're both long haired dogs that shed like crazy, and bark if you so much as tap your finger on the table. And my dad's so mentally occupied with looking for jobs online when he's at home, that I end up being the one that feeds them, cleans up their pee and puke, pets them, and lets them out to potty. I told Dad she should take the dogs to Mom's house sometimes since she has a big house for them to roam with her 3rd husband, and my dad refuses to do that. Jealousy issues or something...I don't care. But even when I tell her how I feel in a very polite manner, she's like "Oh sorry..." And then still brings them over every single time. This has been going on for over a year now. She comes to town every few weeks and does it. And she leaves them at our house every winter/summer/spring break, and just like takes off to Colorado skiing, New Orleans to drink with friends, or whatever.

How do they all not see that they are being completely inconsiderate? Am I wrong for thinking that it's not my job to readjust around everyone else because they're being inconsiderate of others in the house? I have been honest and as polite as I can possibly be about how they are putting me in a bad place physically and emotionally, and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I'm just getting more and more anxious the more I put up with it lately, which is making me physically ill more. What the heck do I do? My mom paid for me to see a therapist recently with Dad. He just sat there quietly the entire session when I told the therapist how certain situations were making me feel. Then when he got home, he just laid into me when I didn't agree with him until I had a full on panic attack. He sat there waiting for me to calm down. Then once I started to breath normally again, he just started at me again. I know he's stressed looking for solid work now, but this is completely out of hand.

You're not wrong, but it doesn't sound like they will let you win.

Even if you're living with your dad, can you go to your Mom's during the day? I think if there's any way that you can do something to make yourself more comfortable as showing rather than telling your family that you need things different, it would probably help.

I understand it seems like others should adjust and I know this is your dad, but just because you have all these diagnoses doesn't mean if you present things right, your family will come around. It might help you if you could stop trying to get him to act rationally rather than thinking everyone else should and will get themselves together because they should and can, you're the one with the label. Family can be difficult and many people are more than willing to let someone else be labeled as the difficult person rather than taking responsibility for making changes themself.

I have thought about going to my Mom's to stay or sleep during these sort of shenanigans on week days. But the problem is that she lives the bit of a distance away, and tends to flake out on me. If I got an order for my online shop, I'd have to drive home as well to pack and ship it out. There's too much to tow in my car everywhere I go.

I do stay with my boyfriend during the weekend, and just have my online shop policy showing that I only ship orders Monday-Friday to be on the safe side (since he also lives clear across town and I can't justify driving that sort of distance to ship out a 10$ item for instance). Sometimes I want to stay up there for multiple days to just sort of get away, but I also want him to have his space. He seems to feel obligated to keep me company when I stay with him at his apartment. I tell him that he doesn't have to, but you know how it goes. He's a very nice guy. And luckily for me, he works later on at night, so he tends to fall asleep pretty late like me.

I guess this whole thing is getting to me a lot lately because normally I get along with my dad really well. We almost always seem to have a good understanding of where each other is coming from. But over the last 3 months or so now, that hasn't been the case and it's stressing me out like crazy.

My living arrangement is somewhat similar.

I can't say anything about talking to dads, since mine never talks at home. He spends all his talking energy at work.

Mom is the super loud one, I can hear her every step/noise/talking. Combine her with brother and the sound level quadruples. I love it when I wake to their talking.

She's easy to talk to as long as you use humor. I can never talk to her seriously without being cut off and told I should "just snap out of it already, hasn't it been long enough?" or when she doesn't feel that I'm functioning right (which is nearly always), she ignores me for days, then randomly marches in to my room and starts managing my life for me. When I tell her not to do that, she stomps out like a child. Not a productive relationship for understanding, to say the least.

Your sister's dogs - mine is my nephew. Ever since he was born. Because I was home all the time, they just assumed I'm always available. Still do. Yes, it can get seriously frustrating.

I understand that you work from home? So maybe it's similar? They see you as being there, so in their mind that must mean you're available? And since you've taken care of the dogs before, they believe you'll surely continue doing so?

Sorry to dump my own story uninvited. I kinda don't have anybody to talk to either.

I don't think my parents understand me either. My siblings have a better understanding of me than they do. Anxiety has ruled my life ever since I starting dating this girl when I was 13. I have no idea why I fret so much.

I hate dogs in general and they hate me back. I understand how you feel. It's worse with me because I am allergic.

Hang in there. I'm waiting to get out of the house so it will all end.

To Yohji- Yeh I imagine you have one sided convos like me where your dad goes veggie-smush-brain. ^^0 There's not much we can do when work wears them out. Maybe an hour of peace after he gets home will help him kinda recharge or something to chit chat. But if your mom can't handle anything serious in discussions, it may be her upbringing or something. Like if her family never really talked through any of their problems hardly, she may not have learned how to herself. Maybe you can ask her why she seems to be getting so upset when you want to have a serious discussion.
As far as my sister's dogs go...it's more so that my sister is just young, still in college, and just drops them by when she wants to party all weekend. I've told both of them multiple times over the last year that it causes a lot of issues with me, but that hasn't changed the fact that she still leaves them with us every. Single. Time. My mom literally lives in this huge house with a massive backyard, but for some reason she thinks bringing them to our tiny plot is a better idea. I fail to see the logic in these decisions. -___-
And yeh...I work from home. I even ship out product at night whenever I can so that I don't have to deal with people. ^^0 I've had some odd issues arise from going into the post office during business hours.

To BeggingTurtle- The good thing is your siblings can figure out what's up or sort of "get it". That way you have someone going up to bat for you in a situation where you may feel like your parents are just not understanding. And anxiety is just a funny thing you know? If other people study up on what comes along with the territory of being an aspie (or ASD), like generalized or floating anxiety disorder, I feel like they'd kinda get the thought process and mannerisms a bit better. The internet makes that so easy to do these days as well.
I wouldn't say that I hate dogs, it's just that I don't really want to be responsible for animals full time. I love all kinds of animals, and enjoy playing with them at someone's else house...because then I go home and don't have to clean up after it. The ones that always want to be played with or pet drive me insane. Now insects as pets...different story. I will not be picking up anyone's pet Tarantula anytime soon.

On a side note, thank gewdness for MAP! Just got signed up for it this week. I lost my insurance at the end of February, and still need to see doctors and have a lot of bloodwork done. <.< I didn't know until I tried to schedule an appointment with my regular docs, that they require payments up front for everything if you don't have insurance. So my endo's appts before (after the insurance discount) cost about 250, and bloodwork was about 80. Without insurance, the dr visit is 320$, and the bloodwork 309$ now. Like PFFFFFFFT no way I have the money for all of that. ^^0