Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

breezeblocks
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

07 Apr 2014, 2:21 pm

Hi! I'm new to the forums so I thought I'd get your opinion.

I'm not sure if I have aspergers or any type of autism because I've never been diagnosed. To be truthful i wonder if I'm a narcissist. I would much rather have anything else but that personality disorder. I'd been really scared of that disorder a few months back but now I'm kinda numb to it but still am pretty adamant about finding an answer and hoping I'm not.

I have anxiety and depression and most definitely OCD but I'm unsure about both npd and aspergers. Maybe some other things too.

I really like being alone and sometimes get annoyed when a friend texts me wanting to do something I don't want to do. I feel spiteful and jump on any excuse not to. I get so irritated with people and the way they say certain things that sound childish or stupid. I think I have some sort of superiority complex because I have issues with admitting someone is better than me at something...it's so ridiculous and I hate it. I hate being like this. My esteem is definitely low and I'm scared to try self love excervises because it might make me worse.

Empathy is my main concern...I don't know if I care enough about other people...sometimes I feel scared to empathize with people... I know I really want to stop feeling above people and stop being selfish but I always feel tired and unmotivated and just want to be left alone with whatever I want to do. When I read a text about one of my friends being sad the feeling isn't very strong though I try to be... When I see sad things it's like I can't even process it. I know when I was young I was pretty empathetic. Now I'm just sort of hateful but I'm trying. I'm so scared someone will prove I have npd, even as I write this. I do this thing where I get jeLous of someone with big problems in their life and get sympathy because my life has been pretty ok. I don't want to get into detail because it's just so horrible sounding when I say the other thing.

I can't help but think it's narcissism and not aspergers because I'm selfish and like attention and can be social though I'm not good at holding conversation with someone who isn't talkative because I never know what to say...when I was 12-15 I did really horrible manipulative things which have since stopped...I'm 17 now and don't feel hopeful I can care more about others and their problems. Is there any sort of tips to help me? Any opinions? What's wrong with me?



Nascaireacht
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2012
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 145

07 Apr 2014, 3:02 pm

I'm not an expert, but I think if you had NPD, you'd be less worried. They're not really aware enough of their failings to recognise them (this site has some traits, but there're lots of sites out there http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothe ... raits.html). What's just as likely is that you're on the spectrum somewhere, maybe Aspergers, but that you've had to put up with too much crap because you weren't diagnosed, and you've gone cynical, jealous and cranky because of it! So if you that is the case and you are an Aspie, you might be able to understand yourself better and get less cranky. Check out http://journal.frontiersin.org/Journal/ ... 00224/full about the intense world theory of Autism, it'd make sense that got more narky with age, if you weren't making allowances for being an Aspie.



Acedia
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 489

07 Apr 2014, 3:17 pm

Nothing in your post suggests a developmental disability like autism, and I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Manipulation is common and really a part of socializing. Everyone does bad things from time to time. Everyone is a little bit narcissistic.

I think identifying bad personality traits is actually a step in the right direction, there are lot of people out there that can't even do that.



lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,790
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

07 Apr 2014, 4:20 pm

I think I and most people with Asperger's are anything but narcissistic. People who are very narcissistic think they are the best human being's ever, are very vain, have huge egos, and can do no wrong. People with Asperger's tend to have poor self-esteem, have trouble even making eye contact with a mirror, don't want the whole world to look up to them and think everything they do is wrong. We only appear to be narcissistic people think someone who won't socialize is stuck-up, or our tendency to talk endlessly about our interests means we're selfish. Or maybe that's really just another stereotype and it's just me. I somehow learned that people who are modest are "good", people who proud are "bad". Even feeling proud of myself for doing something really well, like drawing a picture, or making my dad one of his favorite desserts for Father's Day, makes me think deep down, "Oh no I'm letting my head swell up and that's evil!" Evil. I tend to possibly overuse that word. Commercials I hate are evil, politicians are evil, Autism Speaks is evil...



emtyeye
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,421
Location: Inner space

07 Apr 2014, 5:47 pm

I think people on the spectrum can be narcissistic, because I know some who are: They have a grandious idea of their own accomplishments, do not see themselves as able to do wrong (always self-justify), and enjoy other people's pain or failure, if it makes them feel better about themselves.

However, autistic narcissists are a lot less destructive and manipulative because we are less able to lie, don't read other people well, and have a conscience, even if a narcissist.

NT narcissists are the real danger. IMHO.



breezeblocks
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

07 Apr 2014, 7:16 pm

emtyeye wrote:
I think people on the spectrum can be narcissistic, because I know some who are: They have a grandious idea of their own accomplishments, do not see themselves as able to do wrong (always self-justify), and enjoy other people's pain or failure, if it makes them feel better about themselves.

However, autistic narcissists are a lot less destructive and manipulative because we are less able to lie, don't read other people well, and have a conscience, even if a narcissist.

NT narcissists are the real danger. IMHO.


Understood. I'm just really afraid of being on any end of the NPD spectrum... Hard to say without further looks though. Thanks, you've been helpful



Davros
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 26

08 Apr 2014, 7:22 pm

You sound a lot like me except I don't have any friends. The only thing that bothers my perfect little world is FAMILY. I have no family of my own, it is only parents, siblings, nieces/nephews, cousins, aunts/uncles. And the thing is, these family aren't even the same species as me. I am a non-human species that was born of two humans. My family does not understand me and cannot understand me, but do nothing but harass me endlessly. My narcissism causes me to fly in a rage every time I have to give some little BRAT of a niece/nephew a birthday present. Christmas is a nightmare because I have to buy and (worst of all) wrap and mail DOZENS of presents at once. I rant and rave and tear up wrapping paper and throw it.



Davros
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 26

08 Apr 2014, 7:24 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I think I and most people with Asperger's are anything but narcissistic. People who are very narcissistic think they are the best human being's ever, are very vain, have huge egos, and can do no wrong. People with Asperger's tend to have poor self-esteem, have trouble even making eye contact with a mirror, don't want the whole world to look up to them and think everything they do is wrong. We only appear to be narcissistic people think someone who won't socialize is stuck-up, or our tendency to talk endlessly about our interests means we're selfish. Or maybe that's really just another stereotype and it's just me. I somehow learned that people who are modest are "good", people who proud are "bad". Even feeling proud of myself for doing something really well, like drawing a picture, or making my dad one of his favorite desserts for Father's Day, makes me think deep down, "Oh no I'm letting my head swell up and that's evil!" Evil. I tend to possibly overuse that word. Commercials I hate are evil, politicians are evil, Autism Speaks is evil...


People with narcissistic personality disorder have poor esteem as well. Narcissism is a coping mechanism.



PerfectlyDarkTails
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 797
Location: Wales

08 Apr 2014, 8:11 pm

I've had the same worries until I had it ruled out and described by a psychologist

Nascaireacht wrote:
I'm not an expert, but I think if you had NPD, you'd be less worried.
Yeah.. possibly with someone with an NPD... this type of thread wouldn't even happen. Narcissistic Personality Disorder would cover every aspect of personality, not just socializing. In the NPD mind, everything would be perfect, believe they've done nothing wrong and blame and argue with others about their mis-givings. that is just the tip of an iceberg though.

Wikipedias round-up of yje symptoms explains the criteria rather well... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissist ... r#Symptoms


_________________
"When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails

AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135