My parents refuse to let me be tested.

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I have not yet been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, however I have had two separate family doctors who,without consulting (we had moved to a different state,) tell me that I had it. After the second time, I began to really look into Asperger's, noticing that I had many of the signs of the disorder. I looked up lists of symptoms and took a test which put me well within the level of being an Aspie. At first my parents agreed with everything, I even showed my mom a list of traits and her first words were telling me that "these are exactly you," but when I began to want to be officially diagnosed their behavior began to change. My dad has seemed to be growing steadily angrier with us getting into a lot of arguments over just about anything. it finally got to the point where they have flat out refused to allow me to be tested,with my dad going so far as to say that the only way I was going to get tested is if i wait until I'm 18 and pay for it myself,as well as forbidding me to call my self an Aspie until I am tested,all because they apparently don't want me "to be labeled." They now refuse to even discuss the issue.

In short,I guess I'm wondering if any of you know if there is a way I can either convince them,or be able to be tested sooner.

I feel for you. That's not a good situation to be in. You're having real problems in your life, you want help for them, and your parents refuse to let you get it. They are probably worried that giving you the "label" of a disability will also force you into their stereotype of disability--they're worried that you'll be incapable, incompetent, unable to do anything for yourself, unable to have skills or talents, and forever barred from happiness. They're wrong, of course; those things aren't true about disability. They aren't even true for extremely, obviously autistic people.

My parents were the same way, but unlike you, I didn't have a clue I was an Aspie. I thought they were right when they said I was lazy, overly dramatic, rebellious, and rude. I finally found out when I was in my early twenties, by which point I had already crashed hard from trying to live on my own when I was not really capable of it. By that time, it was a relief when my mom let it slip that they'd wanted to diagnose me, and my doctor finally clued me in.

But you do know--or, at least, you have a good suspicion that you have these deficits, and that AS is a likely explanation. You can work with that. Unfortunately you're going to have to work on your own for the time being, and it'll be more difficult than it ought to be; but it's not going to be impossible. Unlike me, you'll know your problems are real and not just a matter of being stubborn or lazy, and you can work on solving them rather than just "trying harder" and burning out.

You may have to wait until you're 18. People can be awfully stubborn about their prejudices, and parents can go very deeply into denial, especially when they believe that disability is always obvious and severe. It's almost as though they feel like if they don't admit that you might have autism, then they can keep you from having autism. Just do your best with the information you have, seek what care you can get, and focus on solving practical problems. It's not the label you really need, after all; it's the right to declare that you have legitimate problems and to get help for them. If you can wiggle your way into the particular kinds of assistance you need, perhaps by asking specifically for those things, then you can survive without the label. The label sure makes it easier, but it's not impossible without.

Unfortunately, you may not have a precise answer on whether or not you have AS until you can get an evaluation, but you can probably define your issues more specifically--talk about symptoms rather than diagnostic categories ("I have a lot of trouble doing large, complex projects because I get lost in the details", for example), and focus on those things instead.

yea when I was diagnosed and aware I was HFA.

I cried because I didn't want to be.
I finally understood my life.
I started trying to overcome the anxiety and pushing my self more.

I real feel for you op, I wasn't diagnosed until 2011 and I was born in 1981....

My life could have been so different if I would have known when I was at school during the most important part of a persons life.
These days most colleges and unis have help for ASD people to so they don't struggle so much.

maybe your parents are old fashioned or at least your dad and he believes it's just a label.

get him to read this forum and realise how f****d up all us who were diagnosed as an adult are... It's really important that you get a diagnosis as soon as possible

Start by getting a hold of books like the ones by John Elder and other authors who clearly describe what it really means to be on the Spectrum. Read them for yourself, and just as important - leave them where your parents can read them and begin to understand that the life of a person with Aspergers is not just different, it can also be wonderful. It's not a bad thing to have a diagnosis if it can help you to do better in the early critical and often difficult years.

If your mom is more receptive than your dad on the issue, you might try asking her why they're so adamant that you not be diagnosed. Send them here and start a thread asking what it was like growing up without a diagnosis and having to wait until we were adults. I'll bet after a few stories like that, your parents will be more receptive to the idea. Perhaps see if you can get your GP to have a conversation with them too; they might be more willing to listen if they hear a diagnosis is important from a professional. Good luck, situations like this definitely suck. How old are you now by the way?

I diagnosis is simply formalising what you already know.

So don't put your self awareness on hold until you get diagnosed. Start your own self-awareness education now.
Get hold of some books on the subject and start reading. The more you read, the more you'll understand, and understanding helps to deal with life. You can do that without a formal diagnosisl.

Personally I would not leave the books out because with the OP's parents attitude the books might get thrown out followed by his every move scrutinized to see if he is "labeling himself".

These lyrics from an old Rolling Stones song seems somewhat apropos
"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need"

There have been some good suggestion above on how to get that. There are people here who have been through every situation that may come up.

I might see if you can get your mom to visit this site. The younger you can get diagnosed the better especially if you are in the US. Things can get more complicated after you turn 18. But if you absolutely must wait and you really want to get diagnosed later, if you live in the US start saving money for a diagnosis now. They can get pretty pricey. Also keep a journal of your symptoms and issues and how they affect your daily life. The more information you can give to a doctor when you are ready the better it will be.

You're a lot like me. I'm in a similar situation.
My dad doesn't think I have AS and doesn't like discussing it. My mom firmly believes I have AS and loves bring it up. I'm completely unsure and I want to be evaluated, but both of my parents are against an evaluation. I'll be eighteen in around eight months and I don't mind waiting. I've suspected it since I was fifteen. I don't know how old you are but I'll just say that the time has flown by since I first suspected AS when I was fifteen. This is part of why I don't mind waiting- because I'm used to waiting and being unsure and I know I'll be able to be evaluated soon enough. The fact that a diagnosis will only provide closure for me is another part of why I don't mind the wait very much.

Its not hard to understand why really. Most people are looking for the perfect life. And sometimes like with all other things, the easiest way to make a problem go away is to pretend ts not there.

Taking that first step is always the hardest. I mean i know how hard it is to have quite a few diagnosis, i can only imagine how hard it is for parents to have to accept their child isnt perfect and is different.

But i would say this, that i think its wrong, back when i was a kid i was put in all sorts of places, because of my problems, and back then in the 1990s they didn really know about aspergers or autism here, The letter one gets diagnosed, the harder it is to help not to mention help.

I would like to think i might have been smarter today, maybe able to get some kinda of job if i had more help back then. That being said for me personally there is probably also other things that played in, being hard to ask for help, its easier to not.

I think what the parents need to understand is that you wont suddenly change, its merely seeking answers or a solution to a problem / cause,. But im guessing its also about having their kid labeled. i mean most of us in here knows or have experienced first hand, how must peoples view on you can change by hearing a name like aspergers or austism, suddenly you can get treated like your a total ret*d, which is definitely not the case for all of us.

Of all the things ive experienced in life the hardest is to go against a parent, but sometimes you gotta take those fights, even if its painful and hard, because at the end of the day its your life, and i know personally how hard it was for me as a kid to know i was different and didn find it, but even harder to not have an answer, the only thing i got told was a useless lazy kid that needed to get my act together.. For me i just think the answers can to late, i would definitely try and get the diagnosis and answer sooner rather than later.