Dating worry?

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I've been seeing an Aspie guy for a few months now, and we get on really well and things seem to be going well. But I'm not a conversational person. Like, at all. I've never sensed an issue with it, we never ever have big deep conversations, but we're pretty comfortable in our relative silence. I didn't think anything of it, but the other day i saw this girl from his class talking to him, and she seems like one of those super friendly, a little excessively flirty with everyone, sort of people. I don't know, she was just talking to him so easily, like she could go on and on about something whether the person is genuinely interested or not, but she's so comfortable talking. it just made me realize how much i don't talk. I'm not shy, i just, i just don't have anything to say a lot of the time. or, if i do, words escape me even more than they do with other people.

usually it's so easy for me to open up and talk about my past and my thoughts and experiences with people i meet, but it's like i'm metaphorically tight lipped as a clam with him. and honestly, he's never probed for any big conversations, so I just assume he doesn't really want to know much about me.

i mean, it's not that i think he doesn't care about me. his care is very clear. i just don't know if and how i should address this with him? we know so little about the things in our lives that have shaped each other, it just seems like something other couples have talked about by now, ya know? help?

You know if he's autistic, he's not anymore talkative than you are (unless you push a Special Interest Button and start an Aspie lecture). I wouldn't assume his lack of inquisitiveness is because he's not interested in knowing more about you; more likely he just lacks the social skill to know how or what to ask about. If you're both comfortable with it, don't sweat it. All that personal information will come out over time.

Besides, a person's behavior is a more accurate indicator of who they really are than any personal anecdote they could ever tell you. My parents used to tell me over and over again: "Actions Speak Louder Than Words." Boy, were they ever right!

I can tell more about a person by watching them for a few hours, than I can by listening to them talk for days. Words often lie - behaviors nearly always reveal the truth.

Wanna know a secret? Those people who talk like that don't have any more to say than you do. They just repeat a lot of the same things over and over, or fill the conversation with unimportant details.

That's what I figure, I don't like rambling just for the sake of talking to him, because, let's be real, no one likes empty conversations that they don't care about. I don't know, I'm just always worried I'm doing things wrong.

one more thing.

I mean, we've known each other for some three months now, and we are close, in ways. but I don't know many intimately personal details about him (or rather, his past and his mind's workings), and he doesn't know a thing about the things in my past that hugely impact how I am and what goes on in my mind these days....these are things I can usually open up to "friends" about a few weeks in to knowing them, and not feel any shame. but, i'm just more embarrassed with these things now, since I can't tell if he's interested, or if maybe he doesn't want to know (because perhaps he thinks that, by me disclosing things to him, I will become too emotionally clingy.) I certainly feel closer and much more vulnerable once people know about me, but I also feel a lot better, and I think these things are crucial parts of the way I work and think and cope. thoughts?

He's an aspie, not a zombie. Unless he has some other disorder he does feel emotion, maybe even so strongly that he can't verbalize it (that's a part of my aspie silence at least).

If it's important to you I say initiate the conversation and open up-- just because he's an aspie doesn't mean you need to treat him with child's gloves. I mean if you see anything long term you're either going to have to open up at some point and discuss or constantly feel stifled....better sooner than later right?

This.

This is so true. You should hear the sort of crap people talk about.. just stop and listen to them