worried about missing the chance to have a family

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Robbie
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16 Apr 2014, 5:27 pm

I Have decided I want children and a family but am having problems meeting a girlfriend. I am 32 now and an feeling down about this. I am heathy and quite attractive but can't seam to meet anyone. I have tryed internet dateing but got very little joy.



Stargazer43
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16 Apr 2014, 5:35 pm

I feel the same way, but unfortunately I don't have any suggestions for you.



Willard
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16 Apr 2014, 6:25 pm

My daughter wasn't conceived until I was 32. Don't panic. :P



hale_bopp
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16 Apr 2014, 7:09 pm

You have to go out and do things to the point where people get to know you, like you and invite you out. That's how you meet people. If you don't network, you're never going to run into someone. Or its very unlikely.

Example: Join a hiking club. Go on hikes every weekend. Get to know the people. One day a random person will say "Hey, do you want to come to the movies with me and my friends?" There might be a pretty single "friend" who takes an interest to you.

It may seem annoying, hard and a lot of work for an aspie, but simply put, it's how you meet people.

Unless you have excellent luck it's not usually going to go any other way.



infilove
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16 Apr 2014, 7:28 pm

Yes. I agree with Hale Bopp that is probably the best suggestion.

In addition I would also watch some youtube videos on dating and getting into a relationship. There are excellent videos online. Another pointer is dating several women at once until you fully commit with one of them. That way you'll feel less nervous and if one fails you'll have more to fall back on. Also learn to let go of fear of the worse. Learning about Hinduism, Buddism, or "none attachment" really helps.


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mother2t
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17 Apr 2014, 7:13 pm

Robbie wrote:
I Have decided I want children and a family but am having problems meeting a girlfriend. I am 32 now and an feeling down about this. I am heathy and quite attractive but can't seam to meet anyone. I have tryed internet dateing but got very little joy.


It's not too late at all. You still have a lot of time. But I would make sure that if you do date you make it clear that you are interested in people that are like minded.

As far as meeting people maybe the internet isn't for you. Maybe you need to join some social groups, do some volunteer work, take a class. Something that will give you exposure.



IamRob
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18 Apr 2014, 1:43 am

I too am in the same position,and agree with the advice given.you need exposure its the first step.not sure about dating many people at once to me its kinda like cheating.
But what do i know I've been alone for 15 years and have a hard time taking my own addvice



Klowglas
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18 Apr 2014, 9:29 am

Blood is not the end of the world; we don't love people because they share similar dna, we love them because they're people. If you don't have a family you'll soon discover that the friends you associate with, and the people you love to be around become your REAL family, blood doesn't mean anything.

In life they'll be plenty of chances to mentor younger generations, and you'll soon find that it's these sort of relationships that will grant you purpose in life ebcause they take on the parent/child dynamic, which is fulfilling.

I think all adults have the responsibility of treating younger generations as their own children, because it's through this that a lot of purpose and happiness is formed, it shouldn't die or end at blood, it may very well be possible that you'll never have related family, but like I say, blood doesn't mean anything, in the end it's the people that mattered, not the blood.



Yuzu
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18 Apr 2014, 10:14 am

Robbie wrote:
I Have decided I want children and a family but am having problems meeting a girlfriend. I am 32 now and an feeling down about this. I am heathy and quite attractive but can't seam to meet anyone. I have tryed internet dateing but got very little joy.


You say you're quite attractive. But internet dating didn't work. What do you think is the problem?
Do you have a good job? Do you earn enough to start a family?