Do I still have a chance?

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Yesterday I finally got up the guts to ask out a guy I really like. I'm 29, he's 27. I had figured that he was either very shy or maybe has Aspergers. Right now I almost completely believe it's the latter. I met him online initially but I've seen him in person a couple times. He has a tendency for long-winded monologues about his interests without regard to my attention, both online and in person, which was the real tip off. He is also one of the nicest people I've ever met. Anyway.

He told me that he is just interested in friendship. However, he said that he hadn't realized I was interested in him at all until I spelled it out in so many words. (I thought I had pretty much rented a billboard and advertised it!) The paradox is that -- unlike any guy who has ever rejected me before -- he seemed to really like the idea that I liked him that way, without reciprocating my feelings. He told me that he took it as a compliment. There was absolutely no sense of being creeped out or disgusted by my interest. In fact, he acted like he still wanted to take me up on my suggestion of seeing one another, just as friends. I have known him to be completely honest in everything he has said to me, with no indication whatsoever of "dropping hints" or duplicity, so I take him at his word.

I plan on keeping in touch with him and seeing where things go, but is it unrealistic of me to think that he might have time to think about it and realize that he likes me too?

it might take a long time, and being proactive might push it too hard for him. let things happen organically. a thing to remember is that you are still young.

keep your options open. don't put all your eggs in one basket. respect the guy well enough to take him at his word.

Beware of being used as ego boost, f**k that.

Depends if she is being used. People like praise and complements, that in itself is not wrong. Only if they specifically need them to to do it, by stringing them along. Also that is a well used phrase to let someone know that you don't see that that way.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 17 Apr 2014, 4:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

GreenEyedMonster from what you have said, I would say that you doesn't see you romantically at this time, for whatever reason. The phrase he used is a common place response.

Please don't begrudge this or take it personally. You have probably had advances you didn't wish to requite. Attraction is a funny thing,

I'm not saying that it would never happen, but for now, he made a clear signal based on what you said.

He does sound like a good guy if he wants to be friends. However you should consider if it possible for you to do this.

I don't sense at all that his response had to do with ego. He seemed genuinely surprised that I noticed him, so to speak, and he is not an egotistical person. (Actually, he is very handsome, and clearly has no idea.) I looked back at his email and he did say very clearly that he would see me again.

I guess any person might warm up to someone who was attracted to him over time. His response surprised me because it was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Like I said, I do take what he says at face value, and I'm absolutely sure that's how he feels about me right now. Whatever happens, happens at this point -- I don't feel the need to push things, necessarily. It just really piqued my curiosity.

good luck!

I'm in the exact same situation. My guy friend has aspergers as well and didn't reciprocate the feelings back with me. Funny thing is since then he considers me his best girl friend and we talk everyday. Just recently, we went out to dinner and I kissed him goodbye on the cheek. Now he is acting distant and saying very little to me. It has baffled me and I think I'm about to give up on him. Good luck on your situation and hopefully everything will work out😊

He said he was just interested in friendship so I would just focus on that for now.

Baggeln
Its your call but dont give up too easy,did it come out of nowhere,did it pit him on the spot,maybe he feels pressured to reciprocate but doesnt know how.if he wanted just to be friends he may have told you so it would have been easier(maybe).
It kind of sounds like me.sexual tension can be very intense