Hoping To Find A Place
I don't really know how to introduce an introduction, so just consider this to be that.
I'm a 16-year-old girl in the US, and I go by Mel - if you're wondering about 'MelBell,' that's just an old nickname my third grade teacher gave me. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome about a year ago, and honestly the more information I find about it the more it seems to fit. I've also got clinical depression and anxiety - I'm not one of those public mopers, but I apologize in advance if I get a bit irritable and I hope you'll cut me a little slack - and I've been battling that for around two to three years now.
For a long time I just sort of considered Asperger's as another part of me, and I thought it was cool and was proud of it. I still am, too, but it's really starting to cause me difficulties. For most of my life I haven't really been much of a socialite, nor did I get particularly close to anyone. That changed a couple years ago when I began meeting people online. I've made great friends but recently I've been troubled with doubts about myself and just my worth as a human. I seem to upset people and often don't react much, and this recently lost me two long-term friends. I tried over and over to tell them that I did indeed care about them, but long story short they didn't believe me. Logically-speaking I realize that I'm just a bit different but at the same time I can't stand it. Ultimately some of these traits about myself have been getting to me, and I feel completely misunderstood and I hate that. Hence, my joining this website.
Sorry about the novel explanation of things that you probably don't really care about. Maybe I've gone into a bit too much detail.
As for me I have various hobbies that I tend to swap out for each other constantly - drawing (traditional and digital), writing, and a bit of sewing and whatever else I seem to decide to pick up. I'm a fan of Doctor Who (only new series for now, sorry; haven't gotten around to the old one yet), Sherlock, The Big Bang Theory, Harvest Moon/Rune Factory, Spyro the Dragon...yeah.
I'm really not meaning to be super dramatic about this introduction, but it's just sort of my last grasp at trying to find people I can talk to and get along with and not offend regularly. I do much better at socializing online.
I look forward a lot to meeting you all~
Hi MelBell
Welcome from another newbie here. From my experience of only a few days, you've come to a great place of support, understanding and knowledge. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that I loved your introduction and wish I could have verbalised my situation as succinctly at the age of 16.
I struggle with anxiety almost 24/7 (well there's gotta be some kinda sleep in there) and my social awkwardness is just off the chain! I'm sorry to hear you lost those friendships despite your efforts to save them. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at embracing the philosophy of all things happening for a reason. As much as its hurt you, if you could try and understand that if these friendships have dissolved, even if you played any part in it, you tried to salvage them, it didn't work therefore it wasn't meant to be (well for now anyway)
Easier said than done I know. Anyhow, welcome again and I hope you find some great info, friends and support here
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,112
Location: Portland, Oregon
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