I'm having issues with an autism themed dating site!

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Yes. The site is just called Autistic Dating and it's a UK site. Whenever I try to contact *ANY* woman on the site to initiate a conversation, a notice quickly appears stating that due to some messaging filtering, my messages cannot be sent, but it happens to appear on the screen no matter what woman I try to contact. I paid a small fee to become a member and I wish now I hadn't bothered. Either there's an error or all these women are picky.

The trouble is that there's not many autism related dating sites on the Internet at all and that seemed like the only one with active users, so it's annoying me as I just realized I can only probably be with a woman that either has autism or a learning disability. I don't think "normal" ladies would be interested in me in any romantic capacity, but Match.com and Plenty of Fish are lame because those women are too high class and no-one responds to my messages, even if I subscribe to get all the tacky features.

I also don't like saying this, but issues in my real life have caused me to be extremely lonely and desperate for love. I know you've got to be happy with yourself before anybody else can make one happy, but my life has sucked ever since March.

Have you sent a message to customer service? A third option is that the site is just a rip-off.

Yes. After I contacted them, a technician said I needed to upgrade my browser to deal with the plug-in features they use. I installed Google Chrome and the same issue occurred again.

Have you asked what plugins they use? You may need to either download them or update them.

In the settings for your messaging, do you have a lot of options to block incoming messages? Also, do any of the default settings seem like they might cause the problem? I'm thinking specifically of filtering out any messages that come from people who don't match your selections for what you're looking for.

Also, how many women have you tried to contact?

I've contacted loads of women. All of them live in Edinburgh where I am. I have no idea about any plug-ins. Other dating sites work fine, so maybe it could be they have age restrictions set up. Like perhaps some only go up to 25 years of age, whereas I'm 28. But it's odd how I contacted a 30 year old and the same thing happens. I'll try to snap a shot.

If it is happening a lot it sounds like a problem with the site.

Personally I have made a choice to remain single rather than try to make myself what another human wants to me to be. This frees me up to be myself, my natural self, doing that which I am genuinely passionate about and which brings me great joy in life. There are other types of love that don't involve having a romantic partner. I am passionate about my hobbies for example and i really do feel genuine love for them. I get excited when I think about them and I can't wait to spend some intimate one on one time with them every day. Sounds like a love affair to me. Unless I find someone who is happy to be with me as my natural self (which I doubt in this society) I shall remain single for life.

It does bring me certain freedoms:

I am still having trouble losing weight although my lifestyle is incredibly healthy, meaning I am still clinically obese despite being on paleo, doing yoga, dancing regularly, walking, weight training and so on. My health though is fine, my blood pressure is good and I am not experiencing an symptoms of physical illness. I know that some will say being obese will make me ill in and of itself but there is nothing I can do about that. Whilst I am willing to eat for good nutrition (I love paleo with or without weight loss) and exercise for fitness, enjoyment, energy and vitality I am not willing to spend my life obsessing about food, weighing everything and restricting calorie intake to the point of restricting essential nutrients and spending most of my time hungry.

I am also not interested in the 'if you just eat sensibly and exercise you will lose weight' or 'your weight will come back down to something normal effortlessly when you eat paleo/primal' nonsense either.

I have been eating primal/paleo for months now and have only lost a miniscule 24lb and most of that was at the beginning. I still weight over 200lbs and am still in the clinically obese category weightwise and the weight loss has stopped. It is just far too slow to be of use and I will be 200 years old before I fit back into my old size 12 clothes at this rate. The intial weightloss was also mostly water as my body fat percentage does not seem to change much and I am stuck at over 40% body fat despite not eating grains, dairy, processed sugars, processed fats, artificial sweeteners and limiting carbs to a few bits of fruit and a parsnip or sweet potato if I have been to the gym. I do yoga 3 times a week. lift weights to build muscle twice a week (routine designed by a qualified personal trainer at the gym not myself) and can dance for hours at a time for fun whenever I feel like it (not to mention walk, hike, carry heavy shopping back from the supermarket, indulge in gardening which can be quite strenuous etc).

People don't lose weight on primal or paleo because they are eating like the ancestors. Their weight does not magically normalise to some perfecct figure for them because they eat like a caveman, they lose weight because as with any weight loss plan they restrict their food intake in some way such as carbs, calorie or fat even if they do so subconsiously. They are NOT eating as much as they want and losing weight!! !! !! ! Even if they think they are. I eat what I want and whilst I don't gain any weight on paleo, neither do I lose it. I gain muscle, easily actually, but my body fat percentage stays the same...so weight lifting makes me bulkier without actually helping me lose weight or burn fat more efficiently. Yoga makes me flexible but that is not know for helping weight loss and cardio has no effect on weight loss either.

Ergo I am now free to give up on the weight loss and have actually thrown my scales away. I have no way of knowing what I weigh anymore or how much body fat I have unless the gym measures it. For whatever reason I am stuck at the weight I am at and people lecturing me or judging me or making assumptions about my lifestyle because of my size won't make any real difference. At least I don't have to worry about being thin to attract a mate and I can't be with someone who likes larger ladies as they expect me to eat junk food and to sit around on my arse getting fatter. I actually feel physically ill eating man made processed junk foods and don't care for them...I might be large but I still exercise and eat a diet set up to attain good health. MY size does not mean I sit around eating cheesecake all day!! !!

There is no one I could be with because of society and its narrow mindedness when it comes to obesity.

2 I am free to grow my armpit hair back. I am nearly 40 and have realised that I don't know what it looks like fully grown. I have started to correct this stopping the process of shaving there (I still shave my legs).

3 I don't have to worry about dying my hair any more in the future. It has gone grey, I can just let it grow out to its natural colour and won't need to pay a fortune every few months to have it cut and coloured (just trimmed to keep dead ends away).

4 I am free to have my love affair with my hobbies...


Being alone can come with its bonuses. I have been freed up in several ways since I stopped looking. And no, I am not going to magically find someone just because I have stopped looking. That cliche is just silly.

The paleo diet has also failed to correct my sleep problems. I still have trouble staying asleep at night and still need to keep taking brief naps during the day not becuase of depression but because I keep going sleepy (I am fine between naps) so at least without a partner I am free to nap when I need to so I can function.

Yes I tried not napping in the day, my sleep at night got more restless, not better. Apart of which I will sleep anywhere and anytime when I get like that, its hard to function becasue I am basically asleep on my feet even if my eyes are open and I look awake.

I have nodded off on the bus (only to be woken by an old age pensioner), in the opticians, in the garden and during my favourite tv programmes....

I am used to allowing several naps a day to keep the edge off the drowsiness.

Exercise, correcting my circadian rhythm, having a comfortable sleeping environment, relaxation, meditation has not corrected it either although the lower carb nature of paleo diet has improved things. It's still not right though and I still struggle with it.

It makes me look lazy when actually I keep going awfully sleepy and need to keep taking brief naps (a few minutes to 20 minutes long) to take the edge off enough to function regardless of what my mood is doing.

Staying single saves me having to find someone who understands....no one seems to understand what I am talking about sleep wise unless they are narcoleptic. They get it....lol. but they are the only ones who do.

Have you considered staying single?

Sounds like it might be a scam site. I've seen adverts for various sites specific to particular conditions and from what I've read they all have the same fake female profiles; images grabbed off facebook or elsewhere by the scammers.

Well, I wasn't too fussy about being single as I saw escorts and I've never really ever been in a loving relationship. Granted, paying for it sucks, but sometimes it can be like that or nothing. It's only since I lost my key worker whom I was very fond of, that I feel desperate for "love" finally. I'll post a different thread about it soon.

Basically, I've only had one girlfriend who used me years ago. I met her in 2005 and I busted my ass to find her again. In 2012 and 2013, she used me for to get her luxuries, but went to another man and made out we were never together. She done a lot more, but that's neither here nor there. She's on Facebook, but she ignores me. I am not friends with her on Facebook. I paid a fee or so to contact her so it'd go to her inbox, but she's not interested at all. Besides, a gold-digger never changes.

try stars in the sky-its a profesional dating and friendship agency for people with ASD or the uk definition of learning disability,have seen documentaries on it theyre very good at setting up people and not patronising.

OK. I'll Google it.