Dating counselling

Post Reply New Topic

Does anybody know of anybody who understands and works with aspies in the uk (although phone or skype help will do) and would be able to help and advise me on this issue as I feel I need help on this issue to avoid the real risk of heading towards a midlife crisis later on. I am now 32 and feel this is a very important issue for me especially as I would like to have a family some time. I don't know where to turn for help but feel I need help to get out of this rut.

I have severe regrets about not resolving this issue in my twenties and gaining some experience at least hence my post about wasting this important decade in the haven (although I didn't completely waste it as I did quite a lot of study, worked and leaned some important life lessons but I feel I have wasted it as far as my love life is concerned) but need some help to try to improve things now as I feel life is passing me by. I have issues approaching the opposite sex and knowing the correct thing to say. I can see myself alone in a stuffy flat later on.

Last edited by Robbie on 01 Jun 2014, 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

dont knock being alone in a stuffy flat, its my dream goal!! !

these people do dating counselling http://www.asperger-training.com/support-2/

@OP: I am in the same boat myself. I am 34 and want to be a parent, but feel my biological clock is running out.

@Lotusblossom: Welcome back! I haven't seen you on here in ages.

I think you need to understand that when it comes to being ready for and able to sustain relationships, none of these things are a waste. In fact, I would consider that time you invested in yourself to be ESSENTIAL to forming a strong relationship in the future. There is no such thing as "wasting" time when personal growth is involved.

Many ASD individuals marry at a later age, most likely because it simply takes a little longer to feel grounded in this crazy world. The age you start does not matter; it is where you start from as a person that makes a difference. Never hold yourself to someone else's time frame, because that route will too often be fraught with disappointment.

My husband was 37 and I was 36 when we got married, our first and last marriage each. My sister was almost 42.

My biggest regret of the years I was single was that I spent way too much time focused on dating and relationships, worrying too much about it, when truth was I wasn't really ready for any of it and tended to subconsciously sabotage any chance of being with someone decent (and really bad dates can be much more costly emotionally and time wise than no dates). It is actually a common internal delay mechanism.

I wish I could answer your specific question because I think meeting with a counselor is a good idea. Not because you've waited too long, but because it will save you some hard lessons, and also keep you from falling into some on the common traps and misconceptions I see on this board. I do wish you the best of luck!

Male biological clocks keep ticking quite long after women's do.

But that doesn't really matter, assuming you're looking for someone your own age

Men often date younger, though. I don't know that "same age" is all that important after 30.

This is just me, but I'm dating an older woman right now and happy to be doing it. Then again, I place a lot of value on maturity.

*hugs Tim_Tex*

I had some social skills training after my psychiatric treatment but this was decades ago and I'm sure that things have changed. We covered all sorts of human interaction under various conditions including some social situations.

Try approaching your local Psychiatric Hospital and seeing what they have available.

What I mean is somebody who understands us and doesn't try to normalize us.