Is being over 25 too old to still be living at home?

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WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 4:00 pm

I'm 26 and I still live with my parents, and I don't have a college degree either, not in my career job yet either, just a High School diploma, mainly because i'm unable to afford living on my own yet, I live in California, and rent for apartments and prices for houses are more expensive than most other states.

I currently work full-time at a Grocery store though, so I am employed, have a job, and I have a car at least, but i'm just wondering, is this situation mean it will be hopeless for me to get a girlfriend? or can I still be able to get a girlfriend?

Of course I do want to do something with my life, it's just for a very long time I didn't know what I wanted to do, still not completely sure, I'm strongly considering going back to school though, but I would love to have a girlfriend but wondering if the fact I still live with my parents and that i'm not settled into my career yet would make me not get a second look from girls?

I wouldn't be comfortable having to put my dating life/sex life on hold because of this since i'm not getting any younger, I know people say you have plenty of time for dating and relationships, that you have your whole life ahead, it's just I want to be able to enjoy some youthful ones, and don't want to become too old to date or attract certain type of women.

Are there any people that are around my age or older that still live with their parents, not set in their career yet but yet were still able to attract someone into their life, still be able to have a dating life?



modernmax
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09 Jun 2014, 4:20 pm

If you want to have a life or a girlfriend, then yes that is way too old. Half the graduating seniors at my school have already moved out. Once you are in your 20's, it is definitely time to get your own house.


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WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 4:26 pm

modernmax wrote:
If you want to have a life or a girlfriend, then yes that is way too old. Half the graduating seniors at my school have already moved out. Once you are in your 20's, it is definitely time to get your own house.


I picked the username WantToHaveALife because at the time I registered for this site, I couldn't create my own username using this site alone, and somebody on the site CityData had to create it for me using my username on CityData at the time because at the time my social life was much worse than it is now, it has improved somewhat, and I was unemployed at the time I had that username but now I do have a job.



lotusblossom
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09 Jun 2014, 4:33 pm

I think that is fine, esp since the recession lots of people have to live with their parents for longer.

Some prospective dates may worry that you will not be able to look after yourself, or that you may be spoilt or that you may want them to look after you so you might need to be proactive in reassuring people that your independent and capable.

But most importantly, dont let your living arrangements make you feel bad as a person or less worthy, different people get different breaks and setbacks, it doesnt effect your worth.



WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 4:49 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
I think that is fine, esp since the recession lots of people have to live with their parents for longer.

Some prospective dates may worry that you will not be able to look after yourself, or that you may be spoilt or that you may want them to look after you so you might need to be proactive in reassuring people that your independent and capable.

But most importantly, dont let your living arrangements make you feel bad as a person or less worthy, different people get different breaks and setbacks, it doesnt effect your worth.


ya, unfortuneately it feels like a double-standard, stigma, it looks worse in guys than it does in girls if a guy still lives at home past a certain age



Kurgan
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09 Jun 2014, 4:53 pm

modernmax wrote:
If you want to have a life or a girlfriend, then yes that is way too old. Half the graduating seniors at my school have already moved out. Once you are in your 20's, it is definitely time to get your own house.


Easier said than done if you live in a country with high housing costs. A small apartment in Norway (in the places where there are jobs to be had), a small apartment is 400,000 USD.


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WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 4:58 pm

Kurgan wrote:
modernmax wrote:
If you want to have a life or a girlfriend, then yes that is way too old. Half the graduating seniors at my school have already moved out. Once you are in your 20's, it is definitely time to get your own house.


Easier said than done if you live in a country with high housing costs. A small apartment in Norway (in the places where there are jobs to be had), a small apartment is 400,000 USD.


ya I imagine it's different in Europe



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2014, 5:38 pm

Nothing to be ashamed of.

Are your parents dropping hints?

I moved out when I was 20 because I COULD. I really wanted to get out of my mother's house! I wanted somewhere to bring girls! It was embarrassing in the 1970s-1980s to be in your 20's and still with mommy and daddy. Not so much these days because of the recession and because 25 is the new 18. In Europe, you still get youth discounts in many places until your 26th birthday.

Have you thought about going to college?

It sounds like you're doing okay, what with a job and a car. I wouldn't let it deter me from dating--but there are some girls who would prefer it if you didn't live with your parents. Some girls couldn't give a darn--as long as you don't sponge off them.



WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 5:42 pm

well I went straight to community college after high school, just never finished it, thought about going back now, and no my parents are not pressuring me, it's just i'm worried about the affect it will have on my dating life, on whether I can still find a girl out there that will overlook this about me.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2014, 5:50 pm

To be honest, it would have an effect on your dating life. However, I don't believe it has the effect today that it had in the 70's-80's. Many girls/women are living with their parents as well.

Truthfully, I hope you go back to community college some day. Getting a bachelor's (after completing 4 years, of course) will provide you with an easier path toward getting your own place, or even a place with somebody else.

Are you able to contribute toward the mortgage?



lotusblossom
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09 Jun 2014, 5:52 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
well I went straight to community college after high school, just never finished it, thought about going back now, and no my parents are not pressuring me, it's just i'm worried about the affect it will have on my dating life, on whether I can still find a girl out there that will overlook this about me.

In my experience, if someone likes you they overlook any faults and view you through 'rose tinted glasses', if they justify turning you down by such things, they are usually just excuses to not say they dont find you attractive, if they find you attractive they dont care, they just 'want' you.



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09 Jun 2014, 5:53 pm

With the economy being the way it is, it probably wouldn't be too hard to meet someone your age who also lives at home. If you are both in the same boat, then you wouldn't need to feel self-conscious about it.

I think the bigger question, though, is how you feel about living at home, rather than how women might feel about it. Does it bother you? If so, just start making a plan and small steps towards changing the situation. Being able to tell someone you have goals and are working towards them might be a confidence-booster and help dating-wise in that regard, but the main thing is to do it for yourself.



WantToHaveALife
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09 Jun 2014, 5:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
To be honest, it would have an effect on your dating life. However, I don't believe it has the effect today that it had in the 70's-80's. Many girls/women are living with their parents as well.

Truthfully, I hope you go back to community college some day. Getting a bachelor's (after completing 4 years, of course) will provide you with an easier path toward getting your own place, or even a place with somebody else.

Are you able to contribute toward the mortgage?


Yes, even if it does have an affect on my dating life, it's still not hopeless right? ya I do my own laundry and clean my room, household chores, yard work, pay my own gas, don't have to ask for parents for money anymore when I go out.



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2014, 5:59 pm

No, I don't think it's hopeless.

I had my own place--but I still had some trouble because I was (am) short, lacked social skills somewhat, and seemed desperate. I only gained confidence with age and experience. Mostly, I said to myself: "Nobody's worth all that trouble!"

Just don't lie not having your own place. People do that, and get into hassles.

Never, never, ever, ever, seem desperate. It's worse than having your mother still dressing you.



TheGoggles
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09 Jun 2014, 6:24 pm

A few decades ago, maybe. Now? It's increasingly typical. Welcome to the lost generation.



Sylph
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09 Jun 2014, 6:25 pm

At age 25, it isn't too old there's probably many others in the same situation - I'm currently 21 living with my parents and California rent prices even for a single bedroom apt. + utilities is above my monthly salary even though I'm working full time.