Can you trick yourself into mental illness?

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Hi, I am diagnosed aspie, seventeen year old boy, losing my mind a little.

So, recently I've been reading a lot on Schizophrenia, and the symptoms that go along with it. I'm kind of freaking out a little.

My main question here, is could I be making up things to myself? I never trust my own thoughts, because I'm convinced that my head is trying to trick me. That's real for sure. My memories and even evaluations of situations cannot be trusted by myself, as I could twist them and become unable to separate fantasy and reality. But just in my head.

Recently, I've begun to feel extremely paranoid. Like people are watching me, and I feel extremely far apart from everyone I know. Earlier today, my friend (We're house sitting at the moment) told me to move out of the kitchen so he could cook dinner. In hindsight he probably wasn't too annoyed, but I instantly felt like he was after me. That he hated me, and I went down to sit at my computer, and thought awful things. My head twisted my perception of him, and suddenly I was blaming him for blaming me for ruining dinner (He did not blame me, nor ruin dinner). I felt so angry and persecuted that I went outside and started walking into the night, just socks on. I tried to turn back, but couldn't.

I had zero interest in turning around. I walked for about ten minutes before I began to think that my socks were suffocating my feet. So I took them off, stuffed them in my pockets. Walked out in the cold, in barefeet randomly.

Meanwhile thoughts bounced around in my head, that my friend hated me, that I was worthless, a freak, weird, that nobody liked me and everyone hated me because I was so stupid. I also became very convinced that someone else was in my head. The 'real' me, that was why I felt little to no connection with my friends. Because they weren't actually my friends, they were his. I just thought that.

I'm still not to sure about all this, but I might be pretending to have these problems...then lying to myself. To hide the truth. What that truth is I have no idea, but my mind tricks me and lies to me for certain.

I'm not really explaining it very well, what I mean is:

Could I mimic schizophrenic/psychotic symptoms without knowing it? Some of these things are recent, but I haven't trusted my mind for months, and often felt apart from people, or that I wasn't real.

Before I stop, really quickly I also have a lot of difficulty talking (Especially recently) often blurting things out or making zero sense. I felt very apathetic all day today, and paranoid. I kept becoming convinced that someone was watching the house, but I had no idea why.

Really, could this be anything? Or are the voices just me telling myself how stupid I am?

To your initial question, Yes. Just about everyone does it. Difference here is that it's not just a mental illness you are upon, but a psychical disorder.

Your stories primarily show anxiety which can come from anything, even stress.

My best tip for you are: "Psychology is like a giant labyrinth, think about that before you enter and may never find your way back out."

If I were you. All the questionable thoughts that you have because you have read or heard about it, nevermind it and just be yourself and look at yourself from a 3rd person perspective. Your most important task is to fully trust your own thoughts, if you don't do this you are on a highway to hell. You need to find ways to test yourself in specific details and not in large spectrums like the schizophrenic which are heavily loaded with a wide array of mental issues. There is none knowing you better than yourself and there never will be.

You also need to be aware of the psychological level of humanity and the time we are in where anyone who's not political correct are drawn toward being stamped mentally ill. You are not allowed to have the thoughts that you have, thus you are sent into the psychological abyss and you won't get out of there if you willingly let yourself get pushed in. With all the pathetic people on this planet I'm sure you have no real reason for low self-esteem. You are intelligent, I can tell from your writing. Regardless of positive sides it's often hard to keep up a good self esteem unless your a "winner". You need to bombard your ego with that there is nothing wrong with being special and average, if you are anything more than that that's just a major bonus and should also be so for your esteem.

Could write a book on this, you won't find many who will give you advices like these. That's because you won't meet many who have gone through a lifetime of psychological madness and intellectual neglect and who have also been aware of it for the full duration.

If your symptoms are strong and you find clear evidence in yourself my advice will be about the same. Just step out of it and live a normal life as good as you can (everyone have issues). If it is unbearable and you want treatment I guess you got no choice, but first study the people who have taken that route. Becoming pill addicts and often totally mentally passive, more isolated than they were before IMHO. Most often this is not a price you are willing to pay. Unless you are a danger to yourself and others you can easily learn to live with yourself. Trust me anxiety and depression defeated by a individuals lust of life are far better than any pills or counselling you will ever get. It's a lifelong battle, you better take control of yourself before someone else does and doom you to a life in healthcare as a mental patient.

If you don't trust yourself, test yourself and trust the answers. If you get conflicting answers look closer and ask yourself again, and again and again until you see the matter from all relevant sides and you should have a strong favor for a side of thought already.

It could be OCD and/or intrusive thoughts. You should definitely mention this to your doc

I might agree with this.

I have OCD and I have one particular compulsion where I am afraid that I will develop coprolalia and start swearing uncontrollably (which I have on few occasions) but I feel like it's my OCD messing with me, because it's doesn't feel like a tic, it's something else telling me to.

I also suffer from intrusive thoughts and I also sometimes feel the urge to yell things out. I've been told I have OCD but I have never been diagnosed with it.

The OP seems to be experiencing a slight somatoform tendency (thinking he is schizophrenic after reading about it) most likely exacerbated by anxiety and stress, as someone else said.

If this was Yahoo Answers, and I had to name my source I would say:

*studied psychology for one year.

Good luck and try not to think about the illnesses. If you can't stop, don't read about them anymore.

It is unlikely you have schizophrenia, I have a disorder close to it, and it's much more than that. You'd have to have hallucinations, be delusional, have disordered thoughts, etc. Schizophrenia is quite complex. Plus you need to have had the symptoms for at least 6 months. There's probably more criteria I am missing, but I just wanted to reassure you that if you read enough about anything, you might come to think that you have it. Chances are sometimes that you really don't. But bringing this all up to a doctor would be helpful, as I am definitely not one, and if it's bothering you, it's worth a shot.

I would agree with Minionkitty that it doesn't sound like you have schizophrenia as there are very strict criteria to be diagnosed with it. However it does sound like you're having a pretty tough time at the moment, maybe it would be worth talking to your doctor about?

You need to talk to someone you can trust on these issues. We are not equipped to diagnose you.