so if you didn't feel like you had to get a girl....

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So I'm reading all these threads about the pain of rejection and anger/bewilderment about having to go find women and make the first move, and suddenly it hits me: jesus, if I believed my value in the world had to do with having a man, and that it was imperative that I get me one, any acceptable one, so that I was forever on the prowl, I'd feel horrible too. Because of course men would reject me left and right.

I get horniness (I'm a middle-aged woman, believe me, we know), and I get loneliness (you want lonely? Have a toddler as your lone dinner companion for two years solid, you have to be lonely and responsible simultaneously), but I feel no social pressure to find a man. There isn't any imperative directing me to go learn the game and game the women till I win. So I wonder, if that were removed from young men's set of beliefs -- get women or be loser, be rated on quality of woman you can get -- how much fear of women, and anger at women, would evaporate?

If the ability to get dates/attract women played no role at all in your perceived social standing, guys, how do you think this would affect how you feel about women?

Sexist assumptions.

If it played no role at all in terms of social status then I don't think I'd* feel a damned thing about it because I wouldn't exist due to the simple fact that humans would have died out long ago if we hadn't evolved to feel pressure to partner up & procreate.

*assuming for the sake of your question that I'm straight vs. as gay as I am. Same still applies, though. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the perpetuation of the species which is in part driven by social pressures & societal norms to partner up and procreate, just as it is in all animal species.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

OP, also if you don't feel any social pressure that doesn't mean all women don't, women get peer pressure too, usually from other non-single women; you probably rarely socialize with other women.

^This. Single women I've known always have their friends who are in relationships saying "You need to meet a man" etc. You don't feel any pressure to find a man - great. There are also undoubtedly a lot of men on here who don't feel any pressure to get a woman either (or another man). And it's not only social pressure dictating that desire for a partner. I want a girlfriend but I don't feel socially pressured into getting one. I feel personally pressured, that is, I pressure myself to find a girl

^ Lot of Non-single women are so annoying in that regard to the extent that it's extremely rare to see non-single women and single women in the same group of friends, it's not the case for men.
Even I as a man get constantly such comments from married women.

I have no desire to be in a relationship with someone in order to fit in some kind of social normality, nor to succumb to peer pressure. I want someone to share my interests, to have an emotional connection with, to fulfill my sexual desires. I have never experienced ridicule, or peer pressure from being single. That's really asinine. It's not like you can go to the store and buy a potential mate.

It's just dumb societal pressure. I mean, sure some women are attractive, but I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship any time soon, and I don't think I could deal with the idea of myself being a "playa" who picks up random chicks and sleeps around. To put it bluntly, porn and Fleshlights exist for a reason.

For me, it has always been my main goal in life to get married and have kids...in fact it's one of only 3 major life goals I've set for myself, and I've already accomplished the other two! So, I don't look for a partner to improve my social standing or because of my value, because I am perfectly satisfied with my social standing and I already hold myself in high value. I seek a partner because my life will never be where I want it to be if I remain alone.

So, I have "dated" close to 25 people throughout my life thus far, and I still haven't had any luck finding relationship. When you're 0 for 25 and starting to get into the territory where most people are either married or getting there, it can be extremely frustrating/painful, but I don't feel any sort of fear or anger at women because of my lack of success. I realize that I am the only person responsible for my difficulties, but unfortunately figuring out how to improve my situation isn't quite so easy to discern.

Yeah, it's a damn shame humans have that nasty instinct to procreate. Just imagine how wonderful the world would be if we HAD dies out ages ago. Ahhh, a pleasant daydream for a lazy Sunday.

Seriously though, it takes a strong mind to not to care how one is perceived by the rest of the world, hence the reason so many men -- and women -- work awfully hard to find a mate. And there's the loneliness factor, of course.

But desperation is not am attractive trait. I generally tried to exude that, "I don't give a s**t," attitude (even if, deep down, I gave a little bit of s**t).

This thread is pretty sexist. Men feel horrible when they're constantly rejected because it obviously leads to the conclusion that they're going to spend the rest of their lives alone and unloved. Contrary to what the OP might assume, men do feel the need for love as well. It's not about defining ourselves via our relationship.

Aside from one or two posters, nobody here on WP is posting tripe such as "dang didn't get laid this month, I'm such a loser". The unhappy threads are from relationships that didn't get off the ground.

The social aspect comes from jealousy and the feeling of inadequacy when the people around you seem to form relationships quickly and easily, while it takes someone with ASD/SAD/whatever literally decades to find someone that will accept you for who you are. Most of us are already outcasts, there is very little peer pressure.