Has he moved on?

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Hi I'm a NT guy and I've been dating an aspie for several months, but we have never been official. There hasn't been any communication in a while and I don't know if he has moved on.

I first met him beginning of March at a friends house. He doesn't actually know my friend well. They hadn't long known each other and if i be honest they were kind of just hooking up, but there is no romance. So i was surprised he made the first move by stroking my hand. Later asking if he could give me a cuddle. He was really sweet and by the end of evening we kissed and he told me he liked me.

We became friends on FB. One of his strange quirks and i don't know if it's affected by aspergers but he generally won't talk to me on fb. He has only spoke to me twice on FB and the first occasion was when we just met and he asked me to get whatsapp. For example I once sent a message on fb, and seconds later he replied on whatsapp.

He is in the army which complicates things. So i can't see him when he's on deployment. We use to talk most evenings, sometimes late into the morning always via whatsapp. Our conversations did cover getting to know each other. He told me things, he said he doesn't normally tell people. He told me trusted me and opened up about his past.

My birthday was in the middle of his deployment. I didn't ask him to come but told my friend it would be nice if he was there. I didn't want him to feel he let me down. However he got permission from the army to take time out and came to my birthday to surprise me. He spent the night with me and told me he loved me. I told him i loved him too and the next day he returned to the army.

We continued to speak regularly and he would regularly tell me he loves me. Occasionally he would go quiet and i wouldn't hear from him for a week. I didn't mind because I knew he was busy.
Last time I saw him was May, he just got back from deployment. We were catching up with friends at my friends house, I was asked to come early, the guy i liked, he wanted me to be there earlier to spend some time alone with me and it was very intimate. That day was great. Except at the end of the day I wasn't sure if he seemed a little distant. I asked if he was free to go on a date soon and he said maybe but he's going to be busy. I stopped hearing from him and i thought he had gone.

Three weeks later he spoke to me on whatsapp. He told me he was sorry for not talking and that he went through a stressful period with his home life. said he stopped talking to everyone. He said he still likes me and if he wasn't busy in the army he would spend all his time with me. He said he was crazy about me. I decided to forgive him and it felt as though things would return to normal. He reminded me that due to his job i may only get to talk once a week. I said I was fine with that, i understand his busy on deployment. He then explained that he was going to be on deployment for three months. I asked if he still wanted to go on that date and he said he will as soon as he can. He said he would talk to me soon, and i was quite looking forward to our next conversation. But that was the last time i heard from him and that was two months ago.

He only appeared on whatsapp once in the two months, (maybe about three weeks into deployment) but he didn't message me. I was fine the first two weeks but then i started getting anxious. After several weeks I messaged him on fb because i really missed him. He appears on fb quite regularly. I know he doesn't normally talk on fb but it's been a while. (April he did once send me a message on fb apologising for being unable to talk explaining he was busy on deployment. Considering this has been two months i kind of expected something.) As usual though he has been ignoring me on fb. It's frustrating when i can see him post stuff like some quiz on his page or becomes friends with someone. And you just know he's had time to message me. it was especially frustrating seeing the 'seen' in the inbox. I tried ringing him instead. At first it use to ring, but now it goes straight to voicemail. (I worry he got a new phone perhaps and didn't tell me) Maybe three weeks ago he randomly sent a message to my friend on fb saying 'Sorry, internet is bad here' however i personally haven't heard anything. I wonder if this a reference to perhaps he can't get internet signal on his phone, because he has been on fb. I also worry i scared him by messaging him regularly from three weeks onwards. I just thought perhaps he will talk on fb. To get his attention I left a message on his wall recently saying hi and asking how he is. He deleted it though, which really hurt.

I worry i won't hear from him again, two months is a long time. I have strong feelings for him. I'm worrying his stopped talking to me and he will never give me any closure. I keep thinking about our last conversation in which he opened up about his strong feelings. I don't want to live in false hope but i don't want to move on either. I don't know if he will contact me again and it is stressful. My friend thinks he will talk again i just need to give it time. I'm so confused. I would like some advice from anyone who understand aspergers, and any advice would be appreciated.

Many active-duty servicemembers know that their communications (especially on social media) are being monitored and datamined by several governments, not just their own. It sounds to me to be a combination of lots of work and his unwillingness to share too much (location and duties) while he is deployed. If this is the case, I would expect him to delete your messages and ignore them. But, I wouldn't take it personally.

Hmmm, I didn't know this? Thank you

Hi. I'll comment it according to my perspective: not talking during really busy times seems very plausible. What caught my attention is that he is ignoring you even though he is also doing other stuff on Facebook. Does he stay on for long periods on FB? Ignoring, as opposed to short replies that don't give much (which are common from aspies), that seemed like a real sign of some distance, honestly. Did he recently say he still likes you or any sign of interest? I know it's hard not to be anxious, but try not to overthink too much. By the way, a similar happened to me, but it was a NT guy :/.

He can be on fb for ages, but he has never spoken to me on fb. He generally avoids it and usually only speaks on whatsapp. However he hasn't been on whatsapp once in june. I tried ringing but it always goes straight to voice mail. But i find it confusing because last time we spoke to he was telling me he wanted to be with me all the time. he didn't give any indication he was over me. He said he would go on a date as soon as he could, through hell or high water if he had to. He also mentioned he wouldn't stop talking to me permanently.
The conversation kind of ended with him warning me though that due to be in the army, if he was busy he may not be able to reply or chat when i message him. he may only get to talk once a week. That's understandable however it's been two months and i haven't heard from him. His been on fb enough that he could of spoken to me if he wanted to. But then why did he say all those things and then stop speaking to me. He could of gave me closure.
And i don't know what's up with his phone. Since beginning of July it's been going straight to voice mail. I worry that perhaps he got a new phone but didn't tell me.
Nothing seems to make sense to me anymore and i don't know why he stopped talking? will he talk again? I want to wait, if he's still interested. But i don't want to have false hope.

why do you think the last conversation he said all those positive things? I find it hard to move on because the last conversation he said great things and confidently said he would go on a date as soon as possible. Why would he do that? He did specifically say try not to worry if i'm busy for a while and don't reply. so why he would say that and then stop talking. I think all these thoughts make it hard for me to move on. I have always found things so much easier with closure.

Yeah, a few weeks ago he randomly messaged me. since then we been talking a lot. like the other night i woke up at three and found a message on my phone. replied and ended up talking till seven in the morning. oh dear so bad. yeah i don't know where things are going. he seems confused himself and it appears he has had some problems too. he tells me he misses me and really wants to see me again.