What not to do - online dating

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Lukeda420
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18 Aug 2014, 3:51 pm

I am about to create a few profiles on a couple dating sites (OKC & POF) and I'm wondering if anybody can give me advice of what kinds of things I should avoid putting in my profile. I could also use some advice on how to meet up with people after messaging (how long to wait before meeting, where to meet, etc... Really I'll take any advice you're willing to give.

Or alternatively you could just post some of your horror stories from OLDating.



katiesBoyfriend
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18 Aug 2014, 4:15 pm

Lukeda420 wrote:
I am about to create a few profiles on a couple dating sites (OKC & POF) and I'm wondering if anybody can give me advice of what kinds of things I should avoid putting in my profile. I could also use some advice on how to meet up with people after messaging (how long to wait before meeting, where to meet, etc... Really I'll take any advice you're willing to give.

Or alternatively you could just post some of your horror stories from OLDating.


Avoid references to education or IQ. If you have a Ph. D. or belong to Mensa, be prepared to watch a lot of TV on Saturday nights, if you aren't already doing your laundry.

As for interests, list only ones that are currently in vogue (editing Youtube videos or playing computer games on the newest machine). If you happen to like studying, say, ancient Coleslawvanian pottery, look at my previous statement for how you're going to spend your Saturday nights.

On the other hand, if you work in finance or medicine, bringing in a 7-figure income (and, presumably, can afford the appropriate toys), then your schedule will be filled. Remember what P. J. O'Rourke once said: "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."



Kurgan
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18 Aug 2014, 4:52 pm

Avoid girls who use pictures with MySpace angles. If you don't, you're in for a lot of disapointment.


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Prof_Pretorius
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18 Aug 2014, 5:00 pm

Never post actual pics of yourself. Find pics of male models and post those instead.


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18 Aug 2014, 5:05 pm

OKC and POF are 2 different sites. OKC is more heavy. I kind of don't like OKC because of all those compatibility schemes, but that's just me.
I'd say, when making your profile. Talk about what you like doing. And in terms of music, TV shows, movies: don't go all out
with an extensive list. Just name a few and a genre, that'll do fine.

Talk about some of your goals and aspirations. Keep the profile descriptive but not too lengthy. Me personally I avoid putting in
there what I expect from a woman i.e.: I want a woman who's like this and who does that.

I know women do it all the time in their profiles but it's best to just leave that out. OLDing isn't for the norm.

When messaging. Sad to say. If you message them twice and you haven no answer. Just leave them be.
I say message them a few times because maybe they skimmed over your email (they get like multiple ones a day)
and your message didn't stick out.
Don't use spam messages. It sounds super artificial and noticeable. When messaging bring up some of their interests.
Don't go overboard with the commenting. Maybe comment just on her eyes and smile.
Make your message stand out.
If they viewed your profile and never replied, 9 times outta 10 they aren't interested.

Don't make your replies too lengthy. Be direct and ask her questions.

When the right times come to ask her on a date, don't ask to "hang out" or anything. Say I would like to take you
out on a date (if you are paying) or say I would to go here or there with you.

Have facial pictures. One smiling and a body picture. Shirt on. No photos with tons of people next to you.
Good to have one of you doing one of your favorite activities.
And don't sound like a wimp. Or desperate.

You should be cool. OLDing can be tough but it's what you make of it.


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If SLICING my chest open, a BRIGHT beam of NICE things.
Of CHRIST brings BRIGHT wings, placement from THY KING.
Knight seems just right around the corner in my dreams...


The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Aug 2014, 5:42 pm

What not to do: online dating.



Roobot
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18 Aug 2014, 5:43 pm

Make a list of all the kinds of dates you'd like going on, things like bowling, going to the cinema, eating whatever types of foods. Then just totally take the pressure off by saying you're just looking for bodies to go and do those things with and make the date purely about what you're doing.

By making it clear how throwaway you consider the dates to be you'll make your job a ton easier. Peoples standards for throwaway one night dates are far lower than if you take a serious approach. People that wouldn't give you a chance normally will give you a try. You will give people a try that you wouldn't have considered otherwise.

There will be no wasted dates regardless of whether you get on with the person because you went out and did something you enjoy. And you might even make some friends that you can go out and do things with on occasion while you're waiting for one you really like to come along.

Hey, you might even end up meeting someone through making a female friend like this. Like one of their friends.

Btw, so much of the battle is to get to the point where you've met them irl. People give other people so much more respect when they know them irl. The less talking you do online the better. Online is your enemy when it comes to dating.



Lukeda420
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18 Aug 2014, 5:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What not to do: online dating.


Why not? My options are limited enough and putting up a profile doesn't mean I can't keep looking IRL.



nerdygirl
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18 Aug 2014, 6:05 pm

My sister met her husband through an online dating site. Both are NT, but whatever.

Sometimes it is hard to meet new people IRL. We get into a rut, go to the same places all the time, see the same faces all the time. Work becomes our life and it can be pretty stagnant. There's nothing wrong with meeting people online if you're careful.



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18 Aug 2014, 6:20 pm

I use OLDing because the area I am in. I live downtown were there are nothing but bars and some breweries. I don't drink like that. Plus nearly EVERY person down there is coupled with someone. There are rarely single women around and if there are, they have headphones in their ears, or too enthralled with their phones. And I am not a clubbing kind of person even though foolishly I try to force myself into that thing.
Only thing that works for me IRL is if I stumble upon a date, meet friends through friends, or school.

But once you're around the same environment and you see most of the same faces, you get a since of who's available and who isn't,
who's more fond of you and who's not.
I've had way more success OLDing than anything else. I admit it has made me a bit colder and cynical towards dating.
But I kept coming back because in public it's just no good deal.

In all my times of dealing with POF I have only gotten far with one person. I'm supposed to meet her Tuesday. That'll be the first person I met from there.
I have had more success through CL than anything else.


_________________
My heart, smell like, vanilla ICING
If SLICING my chest open, a BRIGHT beam of NICE things.
Of CHRIST brings BRIGHT wings, placement from THY KING.
Knight seems just right around the corner in my dreams...


Shaded
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18 Aug 2014, 6:20 pm

I use OLDing because the area I am in. I live downtown were there are nothing but bars and some breweries. I don't drink like that. Plus nearly EVERY person down there is coupled with someone. There are rarely single women around and if there are, they have headphones in their ears, or too enthralled with their phones. And I am not a clubbing kind of person even though foolishly I try to force myself into that thing.
Only thing that works for me IRL is if I stumble upon a date, meet friends through friends, or school.

But once you're around the same environment and you see most of the same faces, you get a since of who's available and who isn't,
who's more fond of you and who's not.
I've had way more success OLDing than anything else. I admit it has made me a bit colder and cynical towards dating.
But I kept coming back because in public it's just no good deal.

In all my times of dealing with POF I have only gotten far with one person. I'm supposed to meet her Tuesday. That'll be the first person I met from there.
I have had more success through CL than anything else.


_________________
My heart, smell like, vanilla ICING
If SLICING my chest open, a BRIGHT beam of NICE things.
Of CHRIST brings BRIGHT wings, placement from THY KING.
Knight seems just right around the corner in my dreams...


katiesBoyfriend
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18 Aug 2014, 6:53 pm

Lukeda420 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What not to do: online dating.


Why not? My options are limited enough and putting up a profile doesn't mean I can't keep looking IRL.

Whenever I tried it, I found that women constantly judged me on my appearance, not on what I wrote. ("Sorry, mate, you're not handsome enough for me. G'bye.")

By the way, avoid sites like eHarmony (eBaloney, I believe some people call it). It's matching algorithm doesn't work. Once, I specified I didn't want any children. Guess who it thought would be "perfect" for me? Oh, I forgot--I used it when during one of the free weekends.....



Lukeda420
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18 Aug 2014, 7:09 pm

katiesBoyfriend wrote:
Lukeda420 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What not to do: online dating.


Why not? My options are limited enough and putting up a profile doesn't mean I can't keep looking IRL.

Whenever I tried it, I found that women constantly judged me on my appearance, not on what I wrote. ("Sorry, mate, you're not handsome enough for me. G'bye.")

By the way, avoid sites like eHarmony (eBaloney, I believe some people call it). It's matching algorithm doesn't work. Once, I specified I didn't want any children. Guess who it thought would be "perfect" for me? Oh, I forgot--I used it when during one of the free weekends.....

I see your point, that is a pretty rough response. On the other hand though women get that all the time so we should expect to hear it back. I figure that even if most of the women on those site a shallow vapid cookie cutter personalities that won't have even the slightest interest in. I still might find someone worthwhile in the minority. And if not than I no worse than I am now. BTW I agree about the eHarmony thing. I know some on here say they've had success I am still very reluctant to spend money on and OLDating site.



Lukeda420
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18 Aug 2014, 7:26 pm

Shaded wrote:
I use OLDing because the area I am in. I live downtown were there are nothing but bars and some breweries. I don't drink like that. Plus nearly EVERY person down there is coupled with someone. There are rarely single women around and if there are, they have headphones in their ears, or too enthralled with their phones. And I am not a clubbing kind of person even though foolishly I try to force myself into that thing.
Only thing that works for me IRL is if I stumble upon a date, meet friends through friends, or school.

But once you're around the same environment and you see most of the same faces, you get a since of who's available and who isn't,
who's more fond of you and who's not.
I've had way more success OLDing than anything else. I admit it has made me a bit colder and cynical towards dating.
But I kept coming back because in public it's just no good deal.

In all my times of dealing with POF I have only gotten far with one person. I'm supposed to meet her Tuesday. That'll be the first person I met from there.
I have had more success through CL than anything else.

I have very much the same problems as you do. I hate bars, they are usually obnoxiously loud and boring and that is pretty much the only thing to do in my area.

One of my biggest issues though is I don't know what I like to do. I don't really like to leave my house very often and I don't know of any really fun things to do. I not sure where to bring a girl for a date. The first date is ok because I can find a coffee shop or something but other than that I've got no clue. Hopefully I can find someone on one of those site that also doesn't like to go out that much.



katiesBoyfriend
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18 Aug 2014, 8:23 pm

Lukeda420 wrote:
katiesBoyfriend wrote:
Lukeda420 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What not to do: online dating.


Why not? My options are limited enough and putting up a profile doesn't mean I can't keep looking IRL.

Whenever I tried it, I found that women constantly judged me on my appearance, not on what I wrote. ("Sorry, mate, you're not handsome enough for me. G'bye.")

By the way, avoid sites like eHarmony (eBaloney, I believe some people call it). It's matching algorithm doesn't work. Once, I specified I didn't want any children. Guess who it thought would be "perfect" for me? Oh, I forgot--I used it when during one of the free weekends.....

I see your point, that is a pretty rough response. On the other hand though women get that all the time so we should expect to hear it back. I figure that even if most of the women on those site a shallow vapid cookie cutter personalities that won't have even the slightest interest in. I still might find someone worthwhile in the minority. And if not than I no worse than I am now. BTW I agree about the eHarmony thing. I know some on here say they've had success I am still very reluctant to spend money on and OLDating site.

I remember on one site, a woman demanded I send her a picture of what I looked like. I was taken aback at her snotty approach, so, in reply, she found out that I looked remarkably like Godzilla. :wink: I never heard from her again. Now, why would that be, eh?



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18 Aug 2014, 8:45 pm

What not to do? Don't be ugly.

But seriously, you will be judged mostly on your looks on those sites so be prepared.
And set your mind that not getting reply to your message is the norm. Unfortunately most men don't get responses to their messages unless they are very attractive.
So don't have any expectations. It's like winning a lottery.