can i be in a relationship with an NT guy?

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I have aspergers though, i havent been diagnosed but since i was little i just been very much of a loner and im just not interested in other people. Im awkward in every kind of way, i dont have friends and its hard for me to even have a normal conversation. With anyone, even my own family. Ive been depressed many times in my life and i have tried to take my life. And now im at that stage again when i feel like NOTHING matters, im just isolated lonely and ive given up trying to be social because whats the point, i will always be an autistic.

So the only person that keeps texting me (though ive been pretty much isolating myself from evryone for 3 months) is this guy that seems to like me a lot. We know each other pretty well and we used to date and we even had sex a few times but we were never in a relationship.

He really seems to care and he likes me. I used to ask him what he thinks of me and he said im different. The only problem now is this guy is an NT . Hes so definetly am NT cos hes so normal, and hes got friends, hes always socializing and hes always so caring of other people.

I wish i could connect with him, i wish i knew how to interact with people so i could just answer his texts and his calls but i just dont know what to say. Im always awkward. I dont wanna live at this point, i feel like this disease has really taken the best of me.

But i always wondered that if i would be in a relationship with an NT person maybe it would make me better? On the other hand,ofc, i dont wanna make his life hell. Has anybodt here been in a relationship with an NT and how did it go?

I've had many relationships with NT's. Not one has been on the Spectrum.

They went all right.

Of course you could have a successful relationship with an NT--this guy really seems to like you! I would take the plunge if I were you!

Well, in my experience, yes you can. I know plenty of aspie females in long time relationships with NT men. Go for it! What do you mean with 'maybe this will make me better'? Do you think dating an NT will make you more sociable, more 'NT-like'?

And I've been in a relationship with an NT. What I liked was his cheerful, caring, optimistic and empathic personality. What I disliked was that he was very sociable and often liked me to come with him to social activities. I'm really not into all that stuff; it wears me out. But that wouldn't be a reason for me not to date an NT guy again. There are enough NTs that will understand and accept your disabilities and try to compromize. People are so different you know.

I've been married almost 8 years and my husband is most definitely not on the spectrum. We have had some real problems, but since I figured out I'm autistic (earlier this summer), things have gotten better. I have always told him to take me at face value, but he didn't seem to get it until then. For instance, if I say I want to do something, that means I want to do it, not I don't really want to but I'm being polite and agreeing. Now he understands that my brain just doesn't work the same way his does.

He also has a lot of patience with my meltdowns, and has finally realized that they are not personal attacks, it's just that I can't handle things sometimes and a lot of things stress me out. He feels bad about leaving me to go to parties or whatever, but he understands now that I am much happier staying at home with the dog and cats.

If you really like this guy, I think you should go for it. Just be straight with him. If he already knows you're on the spectrum, or you are not shy about telling him, send him things to read. Just knowing that you think in different pathways will help so, so much.

There's a lot of grey area here, because not all NTs are social butterflies. There's an NT man that I'm sort-of involved with, but it's because he's like me: not social, doesn't party, doesn't drink, doesn't want casual sex, very morally stern, etc. What it really comes down to is, can two people mesh?

I don't think we can rely on others to do something like make us normal, though. We can overcome challenges, but we are what we are. The most that can be said is that we can learn from them... since the guy I know goes to work, comes home, and feels alright at the end of the day despite not fitting the definition of "normal," either.

I know what you mean about feeling awkward and isolating yourself from others. I do that, too. You are not suffering from a "disease," though. I don't know who's told you that. If you have autism, it's not a disease. It just means you have a different kind of brain.

To decide whether or not to be with this guy, I think you should weigh up the positives and negatives.

If you are not with him, you will feel lonely and have no company.

If you are with him, you get to have sex and company and possibly love, but on the other hand, you might experience high levels of anxiety due to being in the company of another human being.

Also, since he is sociable, he might try to make you tag along with him when he's socialising with friends and family, so being with him might also imply that you are forced into the company of additional people as well, which might be draining or terrifying.

It all comes down to this:

Which do you prefer: remaining in the safety of loneliness, or opting for companionship and sex, that will probably come with lots more anxiety and an emotional rollercoaster?