seeking vs waiting

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I've always had a policy when it came to dating that if something were meant to be then it would just happen. Every romantic relationship I ever had has been initiated by someone else. I'm starting to think I would have a better chance at a successful relationship if I actually bothered to look for one, but I have absolutely no idea how that works. How have your experiences played out in this regard?

I'm a guy , so never had a woman come to me to date. I've had a few message me but I've gotten more luck from seeking, never had a relationship though.
don't suppose you're looking for a shy but funny and sweet guy

I think waiting is probably the best.

It's a bit of both in my opinion

I waited for 25 years, and nothing came from it at all. I've had far better luck from seeking.

I've always had more luck with the "waiting" strategy...although you still have to put yourself out there. Also, there's a fine line when it comes to "playing hard to get".

Both.

Searching strategy lets you choose from lots of candidates so you might get anybody you like - but you need to make an effort and the risk of heartbreak is on your side.
The waiting gives you a candidate that already likes you so all you have to do is accept his efforts. But you can't really choose who falls for you so you might not like him and make him heartbreak.

The waiting strategy is a fairy tale that may have worked for some lucky people, especially as a male it is a recipe to stay lonely for a long, long time.

You have to work at it, even more so as someone with AS.

Yehh I used to play the waiting game and the problem with this was twofold: Firstly I would only realise that girls were giving out signals well after the fact and I mean well after in most cases. Secondly even when I had time to act I had no idea how to proceed to the next "Phase". Seeking gives me the means to lead things a little more.

I don't believe they are mutually exclusive. You can "seek" inasmuch as you look around for people you're interested in and approach them to get to know them, yet not fixate on finding the right person right now, if that makes any sense. You can also be patient without being passive.

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I guess there's not really a right answer to this one. I'll try to get over my weird fear of strangers and start initiating more and see if that gets me some less crazy acquaintances to flirt with.

I'm fine with "waiting".

Waiting is like trying to get a job without applying. You have to make an effort and put yourself out there, no matter how uncomfortable you maybe with it. Waiting will never get you anywhere.

If you want to play the "waiting game", you have to surround yourself with new people, otherwise nothing is going to happen. So no I'm not a big fan of waiting.