Love and my offical diagnosis

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I broke up with my as girl friend 3 months ago.

Her words is that I am to illogical to have AS. Her own doctor suggested that I may have AS

I goto her doc and get tested, I have high functioning Autisim according to DSM -5

So I tell ex GF that allot of our communication problems have stemmed from my own condition

She does not care.

I really do not know what to do. She has seen all my symptoms first hand, and still she could not put it together.

I get it, she does not like the fact that I have Autism.

I find humor in all of this though. Here we are criticizing our own faults, that we see in each other.

She carries her AS as a badge of courage. Bumper stickers saying "Kiss my Aspie" vs. my AS has hindered my maturity and understanding of people

I know, what every one is going to say. forget her, walk away, chaulk it up as a learning experience. Now I know what my limitations are and what I can and cannot handle. I know how to logically process her information efficiently and when I feel a fit coming on. I can avoid temper tantrums and out bursts. I do not like the too little to late , the damage has already been done phrases. I now have a foundation of what I need to work on.

She is being stubborn as I am. I have to find the humor in all of this. I want to show her that we put our selves in a very interesting situation and our yelling and screaming about everything was not about anything serious.

What can I say? According to some recent people on another, miscommunication is abuse apparently. I try to give advice to an NT who actually wants to solve the communication problems with their AS partner, similar to the ones you were having and that's I what I get. Sorry to hear about your break-up though.

The break up needed to happen, I needed to be alone and regain my identity. I do not like the fact that she would not give me the time willingly to sort out what I need to do.

Now that I have a foundation on how to take care of my mind I have made allot of changes. I have ceased playing violent video games, imitating characters from movies as a way to "fit in." Better hygiene, and cleaning up after myself. Living with her was very difficult. I could not adapt to her rules and lifestyle due to my own stubbornness and robotic routines along with short working memory.


Letting go sucks.

You know, I might have been in a similar situation once. I dated a guy who was brilliant, and showed a lot of symptoms of Asperger's. Our common ground was what we bonded over.

What he was looking for in a partner, though, was someone with a lot of social finesse who he could hide behind-- someone who could get him into black-tie parties and provide a lead for him to follow and a buffer to smooth over his errors and misunderstandings.

Which was So. Not. Me.

So he dumped me. Viciously and acrimoniously, with many ad hominem attacks.

Fifteen years later, I can unequivocally state that dumping me was the biggest favor he ever did me. Ever. We might have had the same issues, but we wanted to cope with them in opposite and mutually exclusive ways.

We made pretty good friends-- kind of balanced each other out. We made a miserable couple-- our failings made each other miserable; my way of coping infuriated him and his way of coping made me sick.

I wish we'd stayed friends-- unfortunately, he had this habit of trying to crawl back in my bed every time a new relationship failed. Despite the fact that I was in a monogamous relationship, and then engaged, and then married. Last I heard of him, he was making six figures and recently married to the trophy wife of his dreams...

...and I'm glad. FOR BOTH OF US.

Having the same issue and coping with it in similar ways might make a happy relationship.

Having the same issue and coping with it in opposite ways makes a miserable one.

I know you don't want to hear it. I know you're not ready to move on. I know you wanted THIS one to work, and you still want THIS one to work, and you're willing to do all the work to make it so.

MOVE ON ANYWAY. PLEASE. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, AND HERS TOO.

Hey-- if you can keep your collective pants up, maybe you can be friends.

After consideration and the past things she has said to me moving on is the best to do. I feel that I have been used because I was gullible. I am no angel, I have a temper and I blurt out sarcastic comments. I still I realy would have liked to have had a diagnosis before all of this pain she does not care diagnosis or not at this point.