Girl turned me down => or did she?

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A few months ago, I got a crush on one of the actors for a production at our school. After the crazy production thing ended, I asked her out:

Me: Can we go out?
Her: Wait, you can't be serious can you?
Me: ...
Her: I don't really know you; I'm sorry.
Me: ...

I told my sister and she said "Give it some time; get some time to know her." How am I supposed to respond to this now?

My guess is that it seemed odd to be asked out by a guy who she didn't know... I mean I wouldnt just say yes to a woman who approached me out of the blue. I guess I would have said something like
some mates and I are going over to cafe nero beforehand you should join us we thought you were pretty good!

If you ask her out for coffee out of the blue she'll just want to avoid potential discomfort. She doesnt know you or anything about you so she's not going to want to sit with you drinking coffee. Asking her out with other people gives her a chance to get to know you in a relaxed atmosphere. I think that asking someone out for coffee like that does sort of imply a date unless there's a reason for it...

Last edited by Ectryon on 17 Sep 2014, 10:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Maybe she thought you meant "go out" as in "go steady" like a couple? The way you phrased the question does make it sound that way.

I'm not sure how you repair this now that the damage is done, maybe someone else can help with that. But if you keep seeing her around, be more casual and less direct. Asking someone out is not as simple as asking them if you can go out.

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 18 Sep 2014, 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Maybe you might ask if you could take her for a cup of coffee, the way you put that did sound like you were asking her to be your girlfriend.

I dont know... I think that if he goes and says "Lets go out for coffee" it could possibly be interpreted as another dating request. He'd have to make it clear that he just wants to get to know her. She probably thinks he's a little odd now but he can probably just laugh it off. Maybe he could agree with her and acknowledge that it was silly to ask out of the blue but he's been working with her for so long on the production that it just felt natural. Then he can ask her out for coffee and if she declines so be it. She's much less likely to decline if its with a group of friends though.

Yes, she did turn you down.

You would have to get to know her and get a positive feeling about her reaction to you before trying again.

I'm confused. how do you get to know a woman without going on dates? the point of dates is to get to know each other. o.O

This is only in online dating context which requires dating...strangers.

In real life, this rarely happens, people usually date acquaintances after knowing them for a short period (not at friends stage yet).

By breaking the rules and being one of those who can afford it

I mean, isn't this the whole point to dating someone? To get to know someone and find the right partner?

There was actually a guy in my high school that wanted to get with me, but I didn't know him very well... It was just very awkward to me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzcjL-uLpwY[/youtube] I dont even bother asking women out because no matter what 99% of the time your going to lose.

Yep, its not a unlike getting a job through networking. You have to go through an interview, your references are checked and second opinions are sought before any commitment.