Its frighteningly complex

Post Reply New Topic

How do you guys manage to have long term relationships??

Last edited by Ectryon on 20 Sep 2014, 12:27 am, edited 2 times in total.

If I knew the answer to your question I wouldn't need to hang around Wrong Planet.

be fully present at all times

Identify the people you trust, be 100% honest with them and exercise patience with their responses. Not easy to be sure, this means enriching one's mind and life as society begins to grasp the origins of our strange autistic mistakes. The idealized response to adversity such as our own is to independently gain strength. Study, exercise and be kind, show more humanity than pop culture suggests humans might and get fresh air when you need it. Work hard, take care of yourself and stay polite.

Try online relationships.

And no, I do not mean the narcissistic and judgmental world of 'online dating'.

I mean finding a NICE person online who is actually your type and they like you back, or even just going further with an online friend.

My current relationship is built out of this. Things seemed silly and childish at the start, but things are actually maturing and we are having a legitimate relationship now.

Well if you're anything like me, at age 23 you probably haven't learned enough about Members of the Opposite Sex, nor what it's like to be in frequent contact with another individual your own age, to succeed in this.

I got married at age 33. I don't think I would have succeeded at a younger age. Even after, it took quite some time, but at least I hadn't the slightest desire to be single again, especially not after having kids.

Most male aspies are probably loners (not sure about you). Hours spent playing D&D don't count. After having kept your own company all your life, constant or frequent companionship takes some getting used to.

Romantic ones? Not sure yet, hasn't happened - but it will. (I've been asked out, so to speak, many times.. but I'm not interested in many people - only one, so, I'm holding out for what/who I want in my life.)

Friendships? Pretty easily. I'm just friendly, I guess. I'm still good friends w/ my best friend since high school & I graduated in 2000. I have many other long term friends, too. Some from school, others from workplaces, sports, the neighbourhood etc. Sure, I haven't always hung out with them all often but I still consider them to be friends. When my symptoms were bad I avoided everyone for months upon months in order not to burden them with me or have to deal with the stress of socializing with them.. but since symptoms are now minimal to non-existent, I'm good to hang out with whomever whenever I have the time to & I enjoy it. My friends certainly deserve credit for being patient and putting up with me at my worst/symptomatic times.. it's definitely not been all my doing that's maintained friendships. It's having the right friends who have also put in an effort to maintain contact with me.