When I was in my 20's, I had a problem with addicitive relationships where I was addicted to the feeling that loving someone gave me - NOT the love they gave me which was none. The only thing they gave me was attention that I took to a whole other level because my life was devoid of social connection and affection. To them, I was the one who was ALWAYS available and ready for sex or whatever because I was starving for human connection. They knew it and I knew it. When the break up came or when they got tired of me and found another poor fool to use, I failed to see the logic. The anxiety surrounding this failure to see the logic was far greater than the pain that these people gave me. This anxiety is the very devil that will make you cling to someone that doesn't want you, or has long since left you. There was honestly nothing to love about ANY of these guys. I just wanted normality in my life. I was too impatient to wait for it. Now, as a established person, I think back and realize that I wasn't even attracted to these people.
25 Sep 2014, 7:43 am
