guilt
Ive always suffered and still do with severe feelings of guilt. It drives me absolutely mad cos I find myself feeling guilty for no reason at all. if I'm with other people and something happens then I immediately start feeling it and start worrying that the others will think I have done something. These feelings really affect my life in a big way and I just don't know how to deal with it. You can imagine that if I have done anything I shouldn't then its devastating so I'm really bad at telling lies not that I'm advocating such things but sometimes we have to tell little white lies in certain situations. people even comment how worried I look if I'm accused of anything or simply asked if Ive done anything. I don't know if this is related to aspergers or something deeper maybe from my childhood which left many scars. i can get myself in a real state just thinking about something I said or did which didn't go well or embarrassed me in someway and can spend hours pondering and getting worked up about stuff from another day, week or even years ago.this drives me crazy along with all the other problems I have to deal with and I really feel like I'm going nuts at times.
I think I have a permanent feeling of guilt. I turned my back on my boyfriend 24 years ago and that was a big mistake. I've paid for it since then and it seems like there's no end to my punishment.
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im the same way, if i think of mistake i made i agonise over it for no reason - obviusly cant do anything about it now, its in the past, but make sure doesnt happen again. i cant think of my mother withuot getting in lot of pain, i said i hated her and didnt care if she died when she needded my help because she was mentaly ill and then found out next day she killed hersellf at some point after i said that and always going to have to live with feeling i killed her. cant even right this without getting sick
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Níb caram-si, á Áes catha
my poor lack of impulse leads to me saying all sorts of nasty things that i can never take back. that's my major source of guilt. i'm also bad at telling white lies, i don't do it often but just feel horrible if one catches it.
i once bumped into a girl in a rush, and she called me a f***t afterwards. i tried to suppress it and make myself not care but i could not forget about it..."if only i had moved a few inches to the right", i'd say things like that to myself.
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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.
Yea, I find that I dwell on things for a long time afterwards also. I find myself thinking about things that Ive said and done earlier or days before and feeling stupid about it or feeling really bad and wishing I had just done things differently. I still think about situations from years ago just out of the blue when I'm lay awake at night.