Where have/do you find it easiest to make friends?

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SuperInferior
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30 Sep 2014, 8:21 am

Most people found school was a place where we were thrown together with a bunch of people and kinda forced into making friends (or failing as the case may be). It was more crucial. As we get older, we still want and often 'need' friends but the places to do so are more limited. Making friends at work just isn't fulfilling in my opinion, it's just building friendly acquaintances at most.

At uni I asked this question and found most people were attempting to make friends by clubbing, but felt it was empty, fruitless and they ultimately didn't know where to go to build friendships. I almost feel like after education people kinda give up on it and resign themselves to the fact unless they get a partner they're not really going to have much of friendship!
So any ideas??

*My experience is that I theorised other autistic friends might eliminate the problem of social cue battles and indirect bullying and pushing people out fo the group for not conforming, so I joined an autism support group and made some friends there.
Big mistake! They were probably the worst bunch of people I've known for all those NT things that they themselves criticised and they ended up pushing me out of the group, taking my money and basically endangering me too!

*I'm currently looking into adult education courses, where you have a lot of older people (uni has too many over grown kids for my tastes) and that's a possible place to find friendships, but people can be a bit standoffish as they're on a mission.

*And lastly I went to a few entrepreneur events and I felt like I really fitted in. Those types really had the same mind set and it was inspiring hearing their goals. I'm not sure yet if friendships will come out of that but I guess they'd be some amazing 'peers'.

Where you guys have searched for friendships and what's been successful?


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ExoMuseum
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30 Sep 2014, 10:01 am

Drama clubs and concerts, in my experience musicians and actors and artists are more open to people and they're a little weirder than other people

I might just like them bc I'm into music and art and acting too but y'know it people you can be yourself around!



AmethystRose
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30 Sep 2014, 1:04 pm

Online.



SuperInferior
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30 Sep 2014, 1:42 pm

I definitely agree it's down to finding people you can be yourself with. I guess maybe that's why online is a good one, a lot of people find it easier to be themselves online. But personally I find it very broad online so harder to find a small group I'd settle in.

And yeah totally agree with the arty people embracing difference! I'm currently getting more into Cosplay and wondering if they're more open. A lot of them seem it but so far its online so you're also getting a lot of trolls and such lol


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NYAspie
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30 Sep 2014, 4:43 pm

AmethystRose wrote:
Online.


Way to drop the mic, a la Showtime at the Apollo!


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Kiprobalhato
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01 Oct 2014, 12:03 am

this website.

study hall. (well, called "individual instruction")


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02 Oct 2014, 2:04 pm

Perhaps people with common interests or hobbies; people you work or study with. What interests you? What are you studying? I suspect most jobs or univ. projects are too dull to make friends there but interesting ones might be good.


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Moostar
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02 Oct 2014, 3:12 pm

AmethystRose wrote:
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Same here, Talking to others in real life is just too much on my mind. Too many little social details to watch out for. :x



SpirosD
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02 Oct 2014, 6:30 pm

Almost 15 years after graduating from High School in France, I'm only friends with one person, he's an NT but the only reason we are Friend and have been friends for 18 years is because we shared a common passion, and that is films.
When I was in university (in the USA), I studied films, what was a passion I had since I was a kids, so it was easier to make friends with other film students first because we all shared the same passion, and second because we came from all over the world, and because I love other cultures it was easier for me to make friends, and now 11 years after graduating I'm still friends with some people from university.
But in the world out there, I have a very hard time making friends, I'm friendly, I know a lot of people but they are not friends. And I end up making friends with people with whom I work, depending on the projects I do I can make friends, but it's still not easy, especially in the world of art where they is a lot of hypocrisy and people getting friendly because they want something from you.


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nick007
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04 Oct 2014, 9:37 am

Certain online forums like this one.


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SuperInferior
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07 Oct 2014, 8:04 am

SpirosD wrote:
But in the world out there, I have a very hard time making friends, I'm friendly, I know a lot of people but they are not friends. And I end up making friends with people with whom I work, depending on the projects I do I can make friends, but it's still not easy, especially in the world of art where they is a lot of hypocrisy and people getting friendly because they want something from you.

I didn't realise the artistic community was so hypocritical. I know that's my problem with most people.
I'm attending a few craft groups, and the ones with older people are the ones I fit in best. Older people are more real if you ask me. =] Also they're so sarcastic and blunt it makes me laugh. So yeah, definitely fit in.

It's just it'd be nice to meet people my age that are like me. I'm very intelligent, and while a lot of people are nice they can sometimes be so boring because their subjects of interest are just TV (but you can't talk about it too much because you're 'over thinking it') and certain subjects shut other people down because they think you're showing off (I guess that bit above looked like I am, but meh, I'm just saying the truth).
Other people who are intelligent are often SO focused on power battles; trying to be the best person in the room. It makes it hard to like them and confusing about where to go for friendships.

Agree that I know a lot of people, and I'm friendly, but I'd say most of them are just acquaintances.


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