New here and on the verge of being fired from first real job

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Hi everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read a bit into my story. (TL; dr is at the bottom for those short on time)

A little about myself. I am 22 and live in a large metropolitan area, where I currently work as an entry level associate for a consulting firm.

As for my history, I was diagnosed with autism at age 3, then re-diagnosed as AS around age 8, then medically no longer met the guidelines for either around age 13. Since then I have been very particular about refusing to divulge any information into my past. Through high school and college I adamantly refused any special privileges or programs on the basis that I thought I belonged on the same level as everyone else. My inner need for social dominance is the driving force behind most of my decisions from age 16 onward.

I recently graduated from a large state university where I was a member of a social fraternity and involved in philanthropic efforts. After not having much of a role early on I worked my way up to the fraternities executive board junior year (12 member board of 75 member fraternity) and while there were frustrations overall I generally felt respected and have no regrets about joining. It should be noted I joined in my second semester, after having a semester where I generally felt frustrated about having little to no social circle.

I enjoy watching football, playing soccer, working out and eating right. I often feel I am at my best when I am able to keep these activities included in my life. However, I get sidetracked easily often due to external pressures.

I gained a great sense of accomplishment in landing a job that counts on myself to work as part of a team and utilize solid communication skills on a daily basis. Unfortunately, the perception exists that I am not an ideal fit at the firm. The most common reason justifying that response is that when given an assignment I like to spend time trying to find a "better" way to do it rather than just doing it. This has resulted in my perception of being disrespectful, unfocused, and inefficient. As a result, I have been given a negative performance evaluation and my exit from the firm appears imminent unless things change significantly. I have not disclosed my medical information with my firm to this day.

As part of a controlled and calculated plan to save my job and my standard of living I have decided to reach out to people here who may have insight given my history. I refuse to "come to terms" with my skill set as I work under the mindset that everything can be improved. I am also adamant about working in a field that doesn't minimize the skills from above and feel that if I don't succeed in this position that I will be proving my doubters right. That being said I'm not sure if I haven't done irreperable damage to the relationships of the members of my various client teams and wonder if I even have a fighting chance at staying on board.

Again I thank you for reading and look forward to your feedback as well as getting to know you all.


TL;DR I am living with some downgraded version of AS, which after years of refusing to acknowledge its condition, its possible still ongoing symptoms are a potential factor in jeopardizing my career.

Unrelated to your story, what does TL;DR mean? I've searched... only came up with a mere 1640 results.....

Dear fab92, i guess you first need to decide whether the up sides of your current job make it worth fighting for; if you want to stay there / don't want to look for a new job, you might consider telling one of the bosses about your autie / aspie traits ...maybe in a letter, so you can enclose info about spectrum conditions as well (written by a sympathetic professional / advocate of course), thereby giving them time to process that info before responding. They shouldn't then consider you less worthy of e.g. promotion, but as someone with unique skills ~ knowing exactly what those skills are will help them figure out how you do fit. Be honest with them and you might find they stop taking your work habits personally. Try to think of it as taking control of a situation that might steamroll over you if you do nothing ~ if your job really is on the line you've nothing to lose by giving it a try. # Or would you rather work somewhere else? You're young enough to start over ...maybe somewhere more willing to credit their young associates with an original take on things. # You didn't say if there are any family members / friends who can offer moral support (whatever your decision) so I'm guessing there's no one around that you can trust at the moment, but if there is even one person outside of work that cares about you, you might want to let them know what you're going through ...no matter how they usually see you, demonstrating that you are no less vulnerable than they are should make them respect you more, not less, and it sounds like you could do with some of that. Of course i know people sometimes let you down when you need them most, and maybe that's why you're here (it's why i'm here) but i don't know what else to suggest. T

Look upon this as an opportunity to find a better paying job that is more suited to you. It is impossible to fit in at every job you attempt. A baseball player is considered a phenom if he gets hits 40% of the time. Develop the mind set of a politician; it is an unrealistic expectation to be liked by everyone.

Hey fab92 welcome.

I agree with the person who said that support is important.
I have been fired twice, both in public accounting where I was ill suited because they wanted someone who is good with people to bring in new clients.
Now I have a job that is not perfect for me, but is probably the best in my field for me. But I still feel very insecure and worry about loisng my job.
I hope you already have someone who can help you thru this, whether you lose the job and you have to go thru that pain, or you keep the job and learn to fit in to the right place with your colleges (that can be painful too).
I am kind of new to the Aspie community so I dont know what the norm is. But for me over my lifetime my norm has been that my biggest struggle is to adapt when things change and to find a place were I am half way comfortable with myself.
Go at your own pace, have faith in yourself hard as that is.
I always thing of that scene in the Lion KIng where the lion is worried about his past and the monkey hits him with the stick. Don't let your worries consume your life, do your best to find your palce, but know that if you dont find it today there is always tomorrow.

Last May I was informed by my mentor and then my boss that my work there would end in August. They said some others do not like working with me, I am difficult and too detail-oriented and perfectionist and not so good with deadlines. That was probably based on a project where I worked for a couple of weeks (coding) and nobody ever said anything negative.

Anyway, in my boss's office I started crying as he listed things I should improve. I had told him about AS in December (when he hinted about these negative perceptions), but he said now that he thought it was asparagus allergy!

I tried to find another job and I think was close to getting it, but they chose somebody else. At the same time, my boss said my work there can continue. I don't know why, but maybe because they have come to know me better (now that things aren't that busy) and actual quality of my work has been pretty good.

I haven't had big problems in my previous jobs. Now I fear that there will be more problems in the future.

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