Should I be worried if she doesn't invite me out?

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Brianruns10
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16 Oct 2014, 3:45 pm

So I've been on two dates with a girl. I really like her, but I can't get a read on her at all, if she has any interest or what. I tried inviting her to an office gathering next week to watch one of the World Series games, and she said she had plans to watch it with friends.

My thought was (though I didn't say this): "Why don't you invite me to join you and your friends?"

I mean, i'm doing all the asking here, and she doesn't even text me unless I've texted first. I just wanna know I'm being thought of, that she's interested in the slightest. But she doesn't wanna invite me to meet her friends. What's up with that?

I mean, should I just call this quits? Is this a non-starter? I'm beginning to think it's pointless, because after two dates surely there'd be some kind of sign from this person that she likes me? I mean it's not like I'm trying to ask her out every day. Just looking for once a week, or is that too much and I' being over eager?

f**k I hate dating. So many ways to screw things up and wind up right back where I was before, alone and lonely. I wish there was a step by step manual. I'd gladly date someone who just told me what to do, so there'd be no risk of making any mistakes that'd risk ruining any hope of a relationship.



cathylynn
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16 Oct 2014, 7:31 pm

two dates is too soon to know if you really like someone. i'd hang in there without expectations (wanting to see someone weekly so early on is an expectation) and see where it goes.



yellowtamarin
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16 Oct 2014, 7:38 pm

I can address the specific things that happened that you have asked about (as for her overall interest I couldn't say). Two dates could definitely be too soon for her to introduce you to her friends or meet your workmates. Secondly, you indicated you had plans so why would she try to interfere with that and invite you to her plans?

So the things you have described don't necessarily indicate lack of interest. If she's otherwise not putting in any effort at all, though, she's either an extremely lazy dater (e.g. wants the man to do the work) or is undecided or not very interested in you.



886
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17 Oct 2014, 6:44 am

Brianruns10 wrote:
So I've been on two dates with a girl. I really like her, but I can't get a read on her at all, if she has any interest or what. I tried inviting her to an office gathering next week to watch one of the World Series games, and she said she had plans to watch it with friends.

My thought was (though I didn't say this): "Why don't you invite me to join you and your friends?"

I mean, i'm doing all the asking here, and she doesn't even text me unless I've texted first. I just wanna know I'm being thought of, that she's interested in the slightest. But she doesn't wanna invite me to meet her friends. What's up with that?

I mean, should I just call this quits? Is this a non-starter? I'm beginning to think it's pointless, because after two dates surely there'd be some kind of sign from this person that she likes me? I mean it's not like I'm trying to ask her out every day. Just looking for once a week, or is that too much and I' being over eager?

f**k I hate dating. So many ways to screw things up and wind up right back where I was before, alone and lonely. I wish there was a step by step manual. I'd gladly date someone who just told me what to do, so there'd be no risk of making any mistakes that'd risk ruining any hope of a relationship.


the world series can last up to 7 games, just invite her to b-dubs for the next one for a few beers or something, likely she doesn't know you well enough to show you to her friends, or there's another guy she's interested in there, who knows. who cares. just relax and enjoy it.


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Brianruns10
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17 Oct 2014, 11:19 am

Yeah I just don't want to blow it (again) by not going the right pace. I want to demonstrate to her I'm interested. I'm trying to be more assertive and outgoing, but it's frustrating because I'm literally doing all the inviting and the texting. She's never once texted me even to say "Hey what's up?" I don't know if she's not interested, or if I need to work harder at showing her I AM interested so she knows.



aspiemike
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17 Oct 2014, 11:40 am

First thing to say here is calm down. You never screwed up here and your talking about it will likely have you overthinking everything.

Second... If you want to arrange a date, call her and arrange a time. Her response will indicate what interest she has.

Remember that if she isn't interested... Doesn't mean its your fault.


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Stargazer43
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17 Oct 2014, 5:05 pm

I have two points to make.

1.) You've only been on two dates - I wouldn't expect either of you to be meeting each other's co-workers or friends at this stage. I certainly wouldn't introduce someone to my friends after only two dates.

2.) A lot of people (myself included) don't like texting, particularly that early on. I reserve texts purely for setting up the next date. A lack of texts doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest.