Ok, explain this.

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This lady in the gym been cherrful and friendly with me, initiating conversations (for serveral days)- with a lot of smiling and staring from her side - with me while she's not talkative at all with others.
Few days later I've sent her a message on fb, she replied and we talked about the listed mutual friends and how we know them.
I've sent her a fb add request but it was ignored (she kept it pending; and I am totally aware this is a common way to politely reject a fb add request); and sent her an early 'good evening' message but no reply; so I forgot the whole thing and decided to never bother again.

Then she saw me days later, approahed me and initiated a talk with me as she normally does and in the same manner; as if nothing happened.

Maybe she's the type who wants her friends in their neat little boxes, and sees you as a "gym person" not a "facebook person". Try seeing/approaching her outside of the gym, and see how she reacts, it could take you a step further to "real life person" or could just show how she really sees you.

Maybe she's not much of a facebook person? I know that I just about never use it, even though I have an account.

Her approaching you is the signal that you should not take this the wrong way.

She wants to know you better before approving the FB friend request.

she may have a thing about Facebook requests from people and I do get a little weird myself if I get a message from someone I didn't think would be able to find me on Facebook either. You'll be expected to act like nothing happened.

On the other hand, if she asked you to add her to Facebook and pulled this crap, I would call it a mind game and ignore her then. No sense in wondering what other kind of games she would play later on.

In fact she appeared on my "people you may know" , and the mutual contacts are noticeably all coworkers - and i've explaind this how I've noticed her profile.

Plus the good evening msg was seen but she didn't reply.

I've acted normally while putting the fb thing aside but this is still strangely confusing.

Duh, "trying to ser her "outside thr gym" sounds like serious stalking to me, this is a bad advice.

I've thought online communication would be the safest intermediate to slowly escalate things (between gym enviroment to outside).

Maybe she only sees you as a friend in the gym and not as anything outside of that. I have a hard time figuring out what kind of friend someone sees me as. When I get to be good friends with someone in school, I am hesitant to invite them to anything outside of that or add them on social media because its hard for me to figure out if they just want me as a school friend or if they want to take it to the next level.

Some of the above thoughts make sense, but to me it seems to artificial. The idea that a person is friendly in one setting and not others... gym person, facebook person, etc.

Personally I am more all or nothing if its a relationship I am interested in, and would not try to contort myself to fit someone's categorization. I would still be friendly but forget persuing it.

This is cynical, but it is possible you are not really the 'gym friend' so much as the person she uses to pretend being friends with so no once else bothers her.

I think you are overthinking this. I think that her ignoring your Facebook friend request means she doesn't want to be FB friends with you. Let. It. Go.

Are you getting people mixed up again?

Gymzone = √friendzone

If you ask me.

Oh no, that's it, I got Gymzoned

I've seen her today, acted normally but.... I think people here are probably right about the gym buddy thing; her perceived enthusiasm was probably due that to me being her only acquaintance there - but not more than that.

Anyway, not feeling to pursue her anymore, fortunately this desire was short living.
Now I am happy again.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Oct 2014, 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

i tend to do this. I view people i met at school/work/gym to just be acquaintances and nothing more. I find their Facebook requests to be odd. but I ad them as not to be mean. it has come to be that one person I met from school considers me a good friend. o.O I don't understand why, but I also have trust issues and anxiety about drama being brought back to the original place ie work etc.
managing this is quite hard for me

so it may be she is worried too, if for say you two got in a disagreement it might make her going to the gym quite uncomfortable.
it may be like me she weighs benefits and what is more important. having a gym to go to vrs a possible new friend/bf or what ever you were seeking. I don't make work friends cause I fear losing my job over a possible fight. its also why i'd never date someone from work or a social club/gym.

There's no way to make her take it to the next level, whether it's friendship or date - if she doesn't even accept a fb add then certainly won't accept an invitation to anything outside.
It's simply another acquaintance thing that leads to nothing (not even to friendship).

People are bloody weird right?