I wonder if I'm holding myself back?
Over the last year I have been really active in teen forums and have really developed socially in them. I've become really confident and outgoing in the cyber world. But in the real world I'm just as withdrawn as ever. It's like the gap between the two is getting bigger and bigger. I just wonder if I'm holding myself back, or are the two just not realistically comparable?
It isn't realistically comparable.
As a person without autism, I struggle far more in the real world than online too. I may partially hold myself back (due to anxiety), but for the most part it's for reasons such as that I just don't get along with other people because it's hard to find somebody like me, or that I generally take longer to come up with responses than most. I don't have an official label for my social difficulties, so I simply call myself introverted now.
Your posts used to highlight the fact that you were struggling (you considered moving out of normal schooling). From the others I've read, it seems as if you have made great efforts to push forward. I don't only say this for motivational purposes. I really don't think you're holding yourself back.
Perhaps, if anything, thinking that you're mentally holding yourself back, is the biggest thing holding you back - put simply, stop worrying and keep going (if only I could take that advice).
_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk
Maybe, but as long as you're doing your best it's not good to make it about you doing something wrong.
But are you sure you've made no progress in real life? The gap getting bigger could just be different rates of growth with faster progress communicating in writing than in conversation.
Actually, Ezra, you have made much progress. When you were 10, you were barely talking, barely functioning. Now at 14, you're becoming a viable person. Anybody who even THINKS they are holding themselves back is making progress.
Perhaps, you are holding yourself back.
What I would do: seek the advice of your teachers. Talk to them about your concerns. I believe they could offer, at the very least, good basic advice to you pertaining to how to relate to other people, and how to use your strengths while de-emphasizing your weaknesses.
Also: make the effort to socialize with others in person, even if it is stressful. Talk to your parents about this, too.
Perhaps, you are holding yourself back.
What I would do: seek the advice of your teachers. Talk to them about your concerns. I believe they could offer, at the very least, good basic advice to you pertaining to how to relate to other people, and how to use your strengths while de-emphasizing your weaknesses.
Also: make the effort to socialize with others in person, even if it is stressful. Talk to your parents about this, too.
^^^excellent advice from kraftiekortie. Give it a shot and good luck Ezra!
_________________
Diagnosed Asperger's
I was like that too but then I started chatting with people on bbm, twitter, whatsup, instagram and I chatted on internet in a very outgoing way which later made them and me talk to eachother in real life the same manner we chatted on internet, now I'm better in expressing myself in real life and talking to people especially the people I chat with using internet because I would naturally start acting like I do with them on the internet when they would act the way that reminds me of them chatting with me on internet
You could be holding yourself back, but a gap between your interactions online vs. in the real-world is not proof of that. Online vs. real-world communication are different in a lot of ways.
That doesn't mean you can't compare them at all, though. You might be able to get insights about what's causing the gap for you by comparing what's different for you about online vs. real-world communication, thinking about what makes online easier than real-world.
_________________
"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." -- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
Love transcends all.
But are you sure you've made no progress in real life? The gap getting bigger could just be different rates of growth with faster progress communicating in writing than in conversation.
I've been told that I've made a lot of progress. I guess it's just that I've progressed faster online. My occupational therapist thinks the time I spend on forums is helping me. Also it's been pointed out that my ability to communicate the way I do online is probably a servant thing.
I'm not sure why I made the original post, because I already knew that. Things just get frustrating sometimes.
goldfish21
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