Triggers with yelling or getting scolded

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Do people who yell or scold you trigger meltdowns for you? I was just curious because I have this problem. I don't like when I'm being yelled at, especially by my mom. It makes me even angrier and triggers outbursts. I think it's mostly because I can feel the echo and vibration of the screaming in my ears. Like, I think it makes me spazz out and get even more pissed off.

Does anyone else deal with this?

When I was younger, it was worse. I would start screaming and crying, lose control and hit myself repeatedly if my parents got angry and started shouting at me. Nowadays, I tend to scream back and momentarily lose control where I lash out.

EDIT: Forgot to mention. It can trigger meltdowns for me when I feel overwhelmed and my emotions take over. That's when I start self-harming by hitting, picking and biting myself.

One time when my stepmother threw one of her hissy fits at me and yelled at me, "You're on your own!" I went to bed and had a panic attack...the woman has NO IDEA how alone I feel on a day to day basis. Just no idea.

So yes, it is somewhat triggering for me...sometimes it triggers me worse than other times.

They usually trigger shutdowns for me. My meltdowns are usually triggered by sensory overstimulation and fatigue - like a long day in a crowded place.

Yeah. I think it's partly due to the echoes or vibrations for me as well.

It used too trigger some pretty bad 1s where I yell back trying to verbally defend myself & worse was when I'd curse & call em really hateful things.

Only in specific situations, with most people. (With specific people in all situations. I should clarify, though, that this only applies to specific people yelling at me in deliberately mean, antagonistic ways and putting me down....which is the only kind of yelling they do.)

When someone starts yelling at me, stating the obvious it happens. It happened to me this evening when Dean and I were about to ask Barb if she wanted to do something with us. Barb pulled that trick on me and I ran out of her apartment building, yelling that I can't handle being talked to like that. It took me a while to forget about it.

It depends on the situation and with who, I think part of me relishes a yelling match and I'm not the type to drop things usually. I like to finish arguments. If some stranger scolds me or whatever I might just freeze up and take it, be angry later. There is a certain tone that you don't come at another person with, not unless you want a certain response.

I don't necessarily have a meltdown but I'll rant on my blog. Lately, I've been doing a lot of that via my smart phone just to keep my mouth shut.

It's usually scolding that has to do with how I live my personal life. I make extra money after work taking several onlind surveys a day. I can choose to convert my survey points to cash or Starbucks gift cards. So I have quite a bit in Starbucks gift cards. I like a particular drink from Starbucks and probably take it with me to work twice or three times during the week. My boss at one point asked me, "Shouldn't you be saving money to pay off your student loans? Seems irresponsible of you to spend your money on that crap."

1. I'm almost done paying off my student loans.
2. I pay my bills and take care of other obligations.
3. It's none of her damn business how I spend my money.

I wanted to ask her a question about her personal life that was just as rude, but I chose not to and quietly made a blog post.

Also,

1. "You're 23 years old. Why don't you go out and get a boyfriend? You're a pretty girl!" Thanks and no thanks?
2. "You need a life. You shouldn't work all the time." It would be nice if I didn't work all the time, but unlike many people in this community I don't have parents paying for me under the excuse that the economy sucks and jobs are hard to come by. You will be amazed at how many people my age don't actively look for jobs and how willing their parents are to just keep them all protected.

So I'm better about not having outbursts, but I'm still angry.

I react in two different ways, it depends. The first is getting mad back at the person and then generally making amends shortly after. The second is crying and staying away from the person. It usually ends up with me crying, as I've been criticized so much in my life already that I cannot deal with it anymore (bullied from first grade to even college and after is not a joking matter)

People yelling at me, especially when they sound irritated or angry, is a big trigger for me to have an outburst. Physical violence also, I will pretty much lose my sanity with that one, which luckily discourages people from trying it again.

I think it is more of a trigger because of the way I was treated as a kid by bullies and my step dad though, and less of a sensory thing. My sensory issues aren't too bad, at the most loud noises or bright lights make me very irritated, but rarely if ever will I have a meltdown from sensory issues alone.

I have always had trouble with arguments and it took me decades to realize it's because I cannot argue like NT's do. I cannot manage the speed with which they speak & the tone, volume, facial and body language which comes so naturally to them. I cannot lie the way they do so easily to shift a situation into their favor. (Like some lies are for safety.)

Could a therapist of any sort teach me how to argue? Not in a coordinated way. Not for home or work or relationships, or for my personal safety, no matter how badly I need the skill. And there is no way to stop the hyperacusia (that loudness). That seems to get worse as I age (early forties). It might sound sad but it's reality...& for many long frustrated years I did not realize what I was missing! I think some people noticed years ago (even here) because I was pushed to return arguments but I had meltdowns instead.

So it is firmly a disability. Even if they are in my best interest I find lies and arguments are too complicated for me to participate in & most people don't realize I CANNOT. I am incapable of more than one or two sentences and the rest is listening to them rant or I must leave.
Sometimes I daydream of our own little place where we don't have the stress & failure of trying to compensate in heated conversations. NT's do it so effortlessly.
An exhausted HFA