Is love at first sight a real thing?

Page 1 of 1 [ 15 posts ] 

Einschmidt
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Feb 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 142

21 Oct 2014, 4:42 pm

Or is it just in movies and the like.


_________________
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable -John F Kennedy


Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,537
Location: Europe

21 Oct 2014, 5:00 pm

For it doesn't exist. Not even attraction at first sight.



Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

21 Oct 2014, 5:03 pm

Lust at first sight is. Love at first sight is not.



1401b
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2012
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,590

21 Oct 2014, 5:07 pm

Of course it does but the reasons are prosaic, boring, and exceptionally complicated.
Assuming, of course, that you mean the psycho-biological "equivalent" of love and not the majikal fairy tale sparkly kind.
(they look the same from the inside)


_________________
(14.01.b) cogito ergo sum confusus


Einfari
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 555

21 Oct 2014, 7:37 pm

Love at first sight doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned. Sure, you can look at someone and find them attractive, but if you consider you are in love with them so quickly, it may be an obsessive lust instead. Falling in love with someone isn't possible unless you know a lot about a person and have been with them for a while. The amount of time it takes to fall in love depends on the person.



newageretrohippie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 814
Location: Keene, NH

22 Oct 2014, 2:59 am

I fell in love with my best friend the moment I first laid eyes on her....so I do believe in love at first sight, but I'm having a hard time believing in mutual love at first sight :(


_________________
Ore Sanjou!


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

22 Oct 2014, 3:17 am

Einfari wrote:
Love at first sight doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned. Sure, you can look at someone and find them attractive, but if you consider you are in love with them so quickly, it may be an obsessive lust instead. Falling in love with someone isn't possible unless you know a lot about a person and have been with them for a while. The amount of time it takes to fall in love depends on the person.


Not at all. I've fallen in love with girls I've known nothing about several times. It's been mutual a few times as well. This is a neurotypical myth that is invalid for neurodiverse people.

In fact, I can't remember a single instance where I've fallen in love with somebody after I got to know a lot about them. This simply never happened to me. Either it happens before I know somebody well, or it never happens.



Last edited by rdos on 22 Oct 2014, 3:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

22 Oct 2014, 3:21 am

Stargazer43 wrote:
Lust at first sight is. Love at first sight is not.


I beg to differ. For me, love as first sight exists but not lust. I have no lust of having sexual intercourse with anybody except for reproduction, and I don't like to reproduce with strangers.



Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

22 Oct 2014, 3:22 am

Only with the shallow 10s of the gene pool I guess. :P /joke



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

22 Oct 2014, 3:37 am

Image



Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

22 Oct 2014, 4:07 am

There is no such thing as love at first sight.

People can feel lust or infatuation at first sight, but not love. Love comes after gradually liking them better and better as you learn more about them.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

22 Oct 2014, 4:36 am

Skilpadde wrote:
There is no such thing as love at first sight.

People can feel lust or infatuation at first sight, but not love. Love comes after gradually liking them better and better as you learn more about them.


The english word "love" is too broad. There are actually two kinds: getting a crush and developing and attachment (typically over longer time spans). People that have been married for a long time typically do not have a crush, they have a strong attachment to each others. So, when we talk about "love at first sight", it refers to a crush, not an attachment. An attachment needs time to develop, but (at least for me), it's not dependent on knowing more about somebody, but rather being with somebody is sufficient. A crush doesn't need time. It just happens. Half an hour is sufficient for me.



Toy_Soldier
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,370

22 Oct 2014, 7:42 am

Yes it does. Happened to me. Here was how it worked.

1. All the things I saw that first time were perfect for me. Looks, mannerisms, personality. I was bowled over so to speak. They weren't meeting me individually, just a new person in a large group setting. I don't think I was even noticed.

2. The time was not right, so I bided my time and only tried to develop a aquaintence with her. It took nearly a year for the time to be right, and when I approached her to date found out to my shock that she had been watching me for many months as well. For once she had noticed me she had taken a great interest as well.

We are still together. :)



FireyInspiration
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: Unknown

22 Oct 2014, 10:33 am

Skilpadde wrote:
There is no such thing as love at first sight.

People can feel lust or infatuation at first sight, but not love. Love comes after gradually liking them better and better as you learn more about them.


Pretty much this



AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

22 Oct 2014, 11:19 am

Sure it can happen.

Heck, I love everyone sight-unseen. Love at first sight isn't too big a stretch.

However?

?I think that love-at-first-sight is WAAAAY too risky to bank on. I'm open to ANY possibility, but by far what is most likely to work out for the best isn't at-first-sight simply because most people don't initially form relationships that way. Toy_Soldier's post exemplifies pretty well how it CAN work. I wouldn't advise against it necessarily, but I'd approach it with the same caution I would any relationship. Best bets are always going to be people you know well over a long period of time rather than someone you just met.