Issy Stapelton

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How many of you have heard the Issy Stapelton story? This is the girl with whose mother had tried to kill her and herself via carbon monoxide posioning?

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/20 ... tter_nymag

I want to know your thoughts on this story.

Most disgusting thing is all the people supporting Keli in the comments.

It makes me sick. Issy's mom's tweets were so nasty and cruel. There are people blogging to support Issy and many parents have joined to show that what Kelli did was wrong.

I can't remember if I can link to blogs or not. Just google 'iamnotkellistapleton' and 'flashblog' with 'blogger' it should come up.

Kelli seems to be someone who was trying, but was just not able to cope. I have a lot of sympathy with her. It's easy to say she is evil, but I don't think this is the case. I don't think I could have walked a mile in her shoes. I would have beaten the crap out of the kid the first time she hit me. She doesn't seem to have done this, but rather sought support and tried to work with her child.

I think her actions came out of despair and desperation, not malice. And I don't think she belongs in jail.

I am glad to head the other side but I am still bothered hearing about how violent Issy is and I can't get over the fact I read she would hit her little sister too and the fact she dared to not target her older brother because he knew how to defend himself against her so she didn't bother him and targeted her little sister instead and her Mom. That sounds like to me she could control herself but went after the people who couldn't fend for themselves. I wouldn't want my children near her so I can understand why the school wouldn't take her and Kelli seemed to throw a fit about it.

Could Kelli be really what people have been saying who she is? I don't know. Could I have been manipulated by her? I don't know. I did see she never got along with her husband's side of the family because of religion and they didn't like her so they had negative thoughts about her and I still saw her blog as a cry for help and spreading awareness about how real this all is she is going through than ding it for attention. I knew the world isn't ready to hear about parental abuse. Even Matt admitted Issy would really hit her mom. I also saw her blog entries the article linked to and I saw them as rants and I have said crazy things while overwhelmed or upset. But if I were to put it online, it can be used against me and taken out of context and twisted around. Of course she would joke about the bruises she got because lot of parents don't talk about the abuse they get from their children because they feel ashamed, embarrassed, they feel they should be in control and stop it but they can't so they feel ashamed. It's taboo. That is what I have read about parental abuse, most parents don't speak up about it who are victims of it.

I saw her being on the Dr. Phil show really killed her insanity defense and the fact she bought those grills the day before Issy came home. Also wouldn't ID keep your bank account open? Both name on card and account would match. Also interesting she said the abuse started at 11. On the Dr. Phil show she said it started when she was eight so I figured she meant it went beyond hitting. On the radio interview, she said it started at age two and it was with hitting. Does she mean at age 11, the real injuries started?

If I were in Kelli's position, I would probably already be in jail long before the attempted murder. You attack me, I defend myself. If she touched my kids, I would probably go behind bars. f**k autism. If you start hitting my child, I will hit you so hard to get you off. I wouldn't hesitate to grab something heavy too. Then I would play the defense card and say was I supposed to let her hurt my child and not do a thing about it. I would do anything to get her to stop even if it means death from assault. It's no different than any attacker when someone is harming your child. I would consider it a tragic situation where both parties should be sympathized with.

Agreed. One of the commenters said:

"To me this is one of those situations where I feel for both sides. Unless you've walked in those exact shoes and dealt with that exact situation, who knows how one might react. "

Well put.

The first time I listened to her on Dr. Phil I felt sorry for her because that is a lot to take in. I was also wondering why Issy kept acting so violent like that. I thought maybe she was upset because her routine got interrupted and she was taking it out on Kelli. Then I read the article above and it said that Issy underwent ABA. It is to my understanding that ABA can extremely traumatic for people with Autism. If I remember it can cause all sorts of problems.

It also appeared that Kelli also lived in a fantasy world in thinking that she would be able to make her perfect at the age of 5. It was so unrealistic that she expected presto chango by her 5 birthday.

The article also put it out there that Kelli was physically abused by one of her brothers as a child. Yes I know sibling abuse goes on but she sounds too like someone who does not want to take on responsibility.

As for her position and opinion while being in prison she is sitting around seeming to beat herself of being this horrible person. I really feel like she is trying to manipulate people to get herself out of her prison.

Then that video that she posted where Issy attacked her I think it was fake. For one thing the crying sounded like a child and not an adult and so did the screaming. Plus you she kept the camera to the floor the whole time so you don't know what's going on.

Do I think she beat up her mother? Yes I do. I also wonder if Kelli found a way to put bruises on her body so that she could make her daughter seem like a horrible kid.

They said over and over she doesn't like to be told no or not doing things she wants to do. Part of it sounds like being a typical teen but add in the autism and poor impulse control, you have a problem. They said she can't control her impulse so I assume that is why she is violent. But yet she is able to control it when someone can fend for themselves so she goes after people who don't defend themselves so I wonder. That part really disturbs me after hearing how she goes after her little sister and hearing on the show she targets her ore now that Kelli is out of the picture. It just makes me feel less sympathy for her because I do not like domestic violence but I am for getting them the help they need and even Dr. Phil has given abuses free treatment who appeared on his show and they also had poor impulse control too but they did not have autism, they just had other issues. It's interesting they also seem themselves as victims and I think they truly believe their victims intentionally do things to make them mad and push their buttons to make them lash out. I do feel sorry for them there because that is what they think.

I knew a boy who had ODD and he liked to get his way and how he did it was hitting and breaking things and threatening people and he took pride in it and his mom was so afraid of him she was his doormat but with his Dad home from work, he acted better because he didn't let him do those things and get away with it. he did it for control but add in the Asperger's, oh boy. Part of it was him wanting control and have his way and the ODD is what made him be the way he was. I wondered if Issy had ODD because she didn't like to be told no or not get her way so it made her lash out. Only way to make her not be violent is to be her doormat and give into everything she wants and it looks to me Kelli would rather take a beating than let her have her way but yet she feared for her life but yet wasn't afraid of death. Frankie's mother did whatever her son wanted and always let him treat her with disrespect because she feared him and didn't want him to hurt her. Even at age 15 I was thinking, "If my kid talked to me that way, I would refuse to do what he wants until he talks to me nicely." But who knows, maybe if she did do this to her son, he may have went upstairs and start hitting her and breaking anything she owns because she didn't comply.

I do agree it sounded like Kelli got frustrated Issy wasn't reaching her goals Kelli wanted and all parents want their kids to succeed and live a normal life so they may try and work hard at it. She had high hopes after reading about how kids "recover" from autism and got very disappointed it didn't happen to her daughter. If Kelli was beating her daughter and choking her and stuff, then I would find it justified if Issy hit her or punched her or pushed her down the stairs because it would have been self defense and I would have seen her as a true victim. Like I do say for all parents, never set a goal for what your kid will be doing by what age or else you will be in for a big disappointment if they don't reach it. Kelli should not have set an age limit.

That whole Dr. Phil show was like watching a horror movie about "When autistic kids attack" and people get attacked by them. That would be an interesting horror movie but probably offensive for us. I found it the most disturbing show ever and Dr. Phil reassured everyone most autistic people are not this way and these are very rare cases. I thought about turning the show off and deleting the episode because it was too horrifying to watch but I watched it to the end and still felt worse about Issy. I didn't feel any better, still horrified and disgusted at the dad about how could he let this all happen and why the hell is he doing letting his daughter being the target of her abuse now and how could anyone find this acceptable? What about the sister that is being hit and having to locker herself in the car or in her room to keep herself from getting attacked? How is this okay? Is anyone going to say the sister must be doing something to provoke it? That is what they all say about abuse, it's the victims fault. But because she is autistic, it's the victims fault while for the other abusers it's their fault regardless of what they have wrong with them but autism is an exception apparently.

She was going after Ainsley before Kelli got put in jail. It could be that Ainsley is smaller like Kelli was. At the same time you sometimes siblings and parents alike can pick on the person with Autism. I don't know I don't live in the house. Either way I know that she is probably hurting.

I'm gonna stop being politically correct about this.

I tried putting myself in Kelli's shoes. It felt so dirty, I wanted to step out of my house with my hands up.

I don't have sympathy or understand for Kelli, and I don't consider that a deficit. Issy's violence, while problematic is irrelevant whether Kelli's actions were justifiable/moral/undestandable, etc. She was quite compliant when she obediently got in the car not knowing of her mother's cold plot. That's not just an unempathetic autistic view, there are NTs who also feel that way. http://www.squidalicious.com/2013/09/on ... gists.html

If you can understand or sympathize with Kelli or parents like her, that's or moral failing on your part, don't rationalize it by saying autistics are just unempathetic.

Here's my take on the situation: [link to flashblog post].

She obediently got back in the van because Kelli drugged her daughter with 4 doses of a pill that makes Issy less aggressive and very sleepy. This is or so I had read. I didn't re-call Kelli talking about giving her the drugs in the Dr. Phil interview.

It seems like intense ABA might have farked up Issy's brain.

No, she does belong in jail. If you attempt to murder another human who is defenseless and you are not doing it in self defense (which she clearly wasn't in this case), she needs to serve time.

Also, beating your kids is awful, and no parent should EVER do that, that is abuse. I honestly do not get how you can sympathize with her and NOT her daughter.

Kelli beat her daughter or are you speaking in general?

Issy was beating her mother. How can people keep missing this? If Kelli was beating her daughter, where did you get this?

Also if Issy is defenseless, Kelli wouldn't have landed in the hospital several times or have brain injuries.

Parental abuse is a real thing but sadly when you google it, very few results come up about it and child abuse results mostly pop up.

Hell they even made a movie in 2001 called Dangerous Child and the kid in it is 16 and he hits and throws stuff at his mother when he gets mad and he was not autistic. The mother of course would lie and make up a story about how her son got a cut on his arm and needed it to be stitched(he tried to punch his mother and she dodged it and his arm went through the window and cut himself with glass when it broke) or why there were things out of place in their home (the son did it while trying to attack his mother and she kept dodging) because she either didn't want her son arrested and have a criminal background or she was ashamed. But at the end the kid ends up getting help after his arrest.

What if Issy wasn't autistic and she still did all this, would we still be making this big of deal about it or find it all tragic and sad and feel sorry for the mother? I sense people would still be in uproar and there would be less people sympathizing with the mother simply because people do not think parental abuse is real (and the fact Issy wouldn't be autistic) just like how people do not believe how men can be victims of domestic violence or moms who can't protect their kids from abuse due to the abuse they suffer themselves from the abuser.

If Issy wants to see her mother, I wonder if she will be allowed.