Dealing with bad behavior,going through medicine changes

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Eliasandjonasmom
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22 Oct 2014, 3:16 pm

So my 13 ds is going off a high level of risperidone that he's been on for about four years. Due to side effects. He's being weaned off slowly and will need to start a replacement med probably abilify. It has been challenging watching all the little and some larger problems resurfacing. He has anxiety, tics, mildly autistic.. formerly known as aspergers. There should be a symbol for that, like the artist formerly known as prince lol. Anyways he has ADHD too and a nervous tic disorder. I don't even know how to describe all the problems risperidone helped us with, but if was without second thought that he'd outgrown the drug and it's time to move on. And also that he will need something else, to replace it. That being said, we have been patient as possible with him struggling and slipping up on stuff. I realize he cannot control tics and other things he does I know this. Today he got busted though for stealing money from me. I placed some cash on the kitchen counter and I usually put it out of sight out of mind right away. I've been sick with a dreadful sinus infection, which has been robbing me of sleep at night, and also just busy too. I realize that's not his problem, and I should have immediately put the money away properly. So I confirmed with hubby and younger son they didn't take the money and it was only possible ds took it. He denied it real bad for awhile and even came up with a story about how he saw his younger brother taking it. Not cool. We are on a major tight budget and that money was for groceries for our family next week. Then he after a family argument/fight he finally admitted it and showed me two very nice nonrefundeable new books from the book fair at school costing 20 bucks each. Last week he also was allowed to spend 30 dollars there that we all agreed on, on a nice book set. So what I'm really getting at here is how do I tackel this situation, showing him what he did stealing, breaking family rules about discussing spending money before doing it, and making up the story that he saw his brother do it, how do I hold him accountable for all this, while being compassionate and empathetic that he is way more impulsive while off his meds? Even though he's off his meds, he needs some consequences here but I am not sure how far to take it. If he's off meds and he can steal and lie, then what else is okay for him while off meds too you know what I mean? He did feel bad when he admitted it and hung his head. I took the books and will consider giving them back to him as Xmas presents. Is it fair to make him have to earn them back too? Like extra chores to earn the 40 bucks, or should I let that part slide because of the med situation. My hubby said he will " rip him a new one" please understand that means he will not lay a finger on him but instead let him know a great deal how this was wrong, a bad choice, and we are very disappointed in him. I'm not sure that focusing on those things will be the right course of action. What are your thoughts? Thank you for any advise and tips.
Cheryl



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22 Oct 2014, 4:50 pm

Are you sure that an increased propensity to steal could result from Risperidone withdrawal? I'd ask his Dr before giving a lighter punishment because of that.



ASDMommyASDKid
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22 Oct 2014, 5:01 pm

If you are wary of punishing excessively for something that may be related to added impulse control issues due to being between meds, as it were, I would go with natural consequences. I would either make him pay back the money from whatever allowance he may get, or work it off.

To me that is a good middle ground between letting him off and punishing excessively.



Eliasandjonasmom
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22 Oct 2014, 5:32 pm

I really think your right, regular consequences. He can do some chores to pay it off. And if he's better about this particular kind of temptation then I will give them to him as Xmas gifts. It's the mom in me that's wants to excuse him because of meds. But the real world does not work that way, so full steam ahead. Knowing right from wrong about stealing money and lying about it is not a social situation that's confusing, it's a crime.