Anhedonia makes my life hell

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For a symptom list, I just recorded that I experience anhedonia every day for 8 hours a day or more. Hardly anything interests me, whether it is interacting with people, watching TV, playing video games, or anything else. This has gotten especially worse as I have gone off of work. Anhedonia is hellish. I often wish I can sleep and wish I can be prescribed medications which allow me to sleep most of the day, every day.

Really sorry to hear that you're experiencing this. Have you spoken to anyone about it?

Just want to say you're not alone. Not that that knowledge will help you, admittedly.

Actually, I was a bit wrong. Now that I think about it, when last I played Final Fantasy VI, I enjoyed it. When last I played Kirby's Super Star Deluxe, I enjoyed it. It is that currently I cannot imagine them being enjoyable that I don't play: there's something that keeps me from playing. I think about it torturously and obsessively. Earlier today, I worked on an assignment for my psychologist which I enjoyed, and yesterday worked with my psychologist which I enjoyed, but it takes really thinking about it to remember the pleasure that I have had. For the present, because of my (potentially faulty) expectations, I must suffer anhedonia. I am stuck in automatic mode, doing the same repetitive things over and over again because I can't imagine the fun in anything.

This is actually more similar to how anhedonia works in schizophrenia than how it works in depression. (You can find this in some of the latest research*.) I can feel pleasure but something's off about my brain's reward centers, causing me to be motivated much less and thinking I can't find pleasure in anything, resulting in my having less pleasure overall!

My insight into anhedonia in schizophrenia produced that insight into myself. It seems that insight into schizophrenia (like what the phenomenological psychiatrists such as Louis Sass and Josef Parnas have written in the psychiatric peer-reviewed literature) often does bring about insight into myself and my past.

It's a strange thing, considering I've had nothing but doctors (except one, the one who was there when I was psychotic at 14) who absolutely insist I have no kind of schizophrenia spectrum disorder whatsoever, including one who keeps complaining I take our conversations off-subject too often (cognitive disorganization, schizotypal trait, hello!), the one I talk to the longest.

There's also the fact that I've been steadily titrated up to 80 mg/day of fluoxetine (a.k.a. Prozac) and yet I've experienced no change! (I have been on the 80 mg/day for about half a week, 60 mg/day for 2 weeks before that, 40 mg/day for a week before that, and 20 mg/day for 2 weeks before that! Been on a steadily rising Prozac dose for 5 and a half weeks, no change!)

* Here's some research:

http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjour ... bs192.full

You know what! Having that epitome makes me feel good!

My anxiety is not severe, but I experience anhedonia as well. Sometimes, I feel meaningless and I hide in my bed.

I have the experience of thinking that an activity doesn't give me pleasure but then realize I am feeling pleasure when doing the activity (though there are some experiences of pleasure I remember better than others, such as during solitude, being out in nature, or when listening to music). I used to attribute that alexithymia due to having cognitive dissonance when I am experiencing pleasure, but I now realize it is something different. I'm not unmotivated, but the potential to experience pleasure is one thing I do not get motivated by.

Yup! Just played a whole bunch of Final Fantasy VI! Having fun! It's another day-night reversal happening.

I really need to stop listening to the reward center in my brain, because it's obviously defective.

Well, just took my night meds this morning! I haven't slept in 22.5 hours.

I find myself relating to this but it's probably me projecting. My psychiatrist says that people with depression often forget that they enjoy things so they assume that they don't and they never expect to. It's like you experience pleasure in the moment but you never expect it when thinking ahead and you forget that you used to enjoy things unless you consciously try to remember.

That's how my depression works and I used to think I had the first kind of anhedonia that you mentioned. I thought I didn't experience pleasure. Now I realize that I do experience pleasure but when I'm not experiencing pleasure I take past pleasures for granted and fail to expect pleasure in the future.

The way I've heard things is the opposite of what you say when you compare depressive anhedonia to schizophrenic anhedonia. I always thought the anhedonia you describe is the one that is part of depression rather than psychosis.

Interesting. I wonder if you can find research on anhedonia in depression. Here's what some of the latest research says on anhedonia in schizophrenia (and probably by extension the entire schizophrenia spectrum) (removed footnotes):



http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjour ... bs192.full

That "reduced pleasure-seeking behavior" describes me to a T, as well as "low-pleasure beliefs."

What have you found in depression?

This is what is mentioned for depression in Wikipedia, sourced:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia ... depression

This suggests that in-the-moment capacity for pleasure is reduced in depression. I admit, I've had a harder time finding clear research on the difference between expected reward and actual reward experienced in depression.

I found the "low-pleasure beliefs" described to be interesting. I consider many things other people find pleasurable to be shallow, and I consider myself to be someone who is not shallow. However, I have found myself getting pleasure from doing things I consider shallow (though most of the memories are vague). Another thing I notice is that the pleasurable experiences I remember the most are the kind that make me think deeply.

With food it's different from other activities. My in-the-moment capacity for pleasure is what's affected in the case of food. With other activities my expected reward is inaccurate. I don't expect to enjoy playing video games but then when I start playing I really enjoy it. I don't know why my experience is different with food than with other activities.

I fluctuate between atypical depression and typical depression in terms of appetite. Right now I'm in the typical phase. I have no appetite whatsoever and I don't enjoy food as much. Not even in the moment. In the past 36-48 hours I've had 2 donuts, a salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing, a granola bar, and a few grapes to eat. That's all I've eaten. The last thing I ate was the second donut and that was 15 hours ago. I don't feel hungry at all. I have no desire to eat. Even when I ate the salad I had to force myself to. I wasn't hungry at all. It's very easy for me to forget to eat in this state.

In the atypical phase it's the opposite. The pleasure I get from food is so overwhelming I just can't control myself. It takes over. I eat to excess. Once the pleasure hits me, once the food touches my tongue, that's all there is. Nothing else exists. I think about food 24/7 in that state. I'll eat a whole medium pizza in one sitting which isn't enough for it to be considered a binge but it's what most people who don't know any better would call a binge. Having read stories of binge eaters I know it pales in comparison. I just consider it over-eating. I end up gaining a lot of weight during the atypical phase but I never consume more than 3360 calories in one sitting and 90% of the time it's just 1680. I know those precise numbers because 1 medium pizza is 8 slices which is 1680 calories. I've eaten 2 pizzas on a few rare occasions but it only ever happens during my phase of increased appetite.

Depression symptoms vary for many people. Sometimes people who are normally depressed get a short break and then it all comes back. It can make you question whether you're really depressed or not. For me I just have a changing variety of symptoms. Oversleeping is a constant. That's an atypical depression symptom. With appetite I fluctuate between the typical lack of appetite and the atypical increased appetite. I usually have trouble getting out of bed and my energy is very low in the mornings but sometimes I notice increased energy levels and relief from depression at night. My symptoms are worse in the morning. This is typical of depression. It's different depending on how long I've been awake.

Everything varies and for me my appetite switches between resembling atypical depression and typical depression. It's never the same.

Thanks. This still may not apply to me, or even what I wrote further up, as my psychiatrist says I have neither depression or a schizophrenia spectrum condition, for the depression mainly because I don't have the symptoms nearly all day nearly everyday. He says I have terrible "Pure O" OCD, though, which a steadily rising dose of Prozac over 5 weeks or more still has not resolved.

I didn't read all the bs u guys wrote.. but isnt anhedonia the same thing as being depressed? And you just overthinking (as always).. I bet if you actually went out and exercised to would enjoy it after a while etc

It's a symptom of depression. It's also a symptom of other mental illnesses and personality traits (such as someone who is high in introverted anhedonia, a person who does not enjoy very much physical activity and social contact--if this is a trait of the person (i.e. how the person typically is), then it's considered to be a schizotypal trait, not depression).

My psychiatrist says I don't have depression, but do have bad "Pure O" OCD which Prozac hasn't helped.

The thing about mood episodes, like depression, is that they have to be out of character for you. My psychologist acknowledges depression-like symptoms accompanying my autism and gender dysphoria, but says there is no separate depression diagnosis.