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marleyandme
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26 Oct 2014, 11:08 am

Hi I've never posted on here or anywhere before and don't really know what to say. I am currently waiting for a further aspergers assessment after being introduced to a lady from the aspergers team by my care coordinator, who I've been seeing for a while now after life struggles stopped me from doing anything. My care coordinator first suggested doing the aq test. Aspergers was something I had never considered for myself, I've worked with children with autism and learning disabilities for 10+ years and I guess I didn't really understand how autism can be in someone without a learning disabilities. The waiting list for the next stage of the assessment is almost a year long and I have a few more months to wait. I did some initial searching on the internet for information and realised I actually knew very little about autism and aspergers. I went from not thinking it was possible for me to have aspergers to confused as I was reading some blogs that I could have written. Now I don't know some days I think yes and others no. I was worried too much reading would somehow make me see more in myself as it was kind of nice to read some things that finally made sense to me and that could explain why I have found certain things so hard that seem so easy to others, I've always felt I'm missing something. I don't get how to be a proper adult and do all the proper adult things, I'm defective for some reason. I'm worried if I believe I have aspergers I will be told no at the assessment and again I don't fit. At the moment I am trying to be open as to how the assessment will go while thinking if I can find things to help myself and that finally make sense to me then hopefully it will be good and not bad. I have been off sick from my job for months now as I'm having difficulties working with other staff and no one wants to work with me except the students, I don't have any problems there. Anyway this was meant to be a short hello. I haven't met or spoken to anyone with aspergers before and I would like to get any advice and real life experience of aspergers and maybe find someone to talk to as I don't have many people in my life. Thanks for reading.



llee
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26 Oct 2014, 1:11 pm

marleyandme wrote:
I don't get how to be a proper adult and do all the proper adult things, I'm defective for some reason.

Hi. I'm curious what you mean here.



RoadRatt
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26 Oct 2014, 1:23 pm

Hey marleyandme welcome. :sunny:


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marleyandme
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26 Oct 2014, 1:35 pm

Hi and thanks for the welcome.
I will try and explain the proper adult- other people just seem to know how to be an adult, how to fit in different situations etc. I feel like I've been waiting to become a proper adult. I thought maybe it would happen as I got older but hasn't or maybe when I was in a relationship or had children but haven't managed either of these. Don't know I think it's just my way of thinking why I struggle in some areas. I often get told I do things wrong or the wrong way, sometimes that I need to act like an adult. I shouldn't be jumping and skipping around or its the adult thing to do. Hope that explains.



llee
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26 Oct 2014, 1:54 pm

I sometimes feel the same way and think it's to do with lack of experience and confidence but if you look at it from another point of view, I think you've probably got it good. You've got a world of possibilities and routes to explore. They're stuck with kids and a mortgage to pay.



marleyandme
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26 Oct 2014, 2:08 pm

Thanks I haven't worried about it too much before, used to think I will get it someday. Have been having a rough couple years and with work and life issues don't seem to have much purpose at the moment. Trying to find positives including learning more about who I am.



Tizerize
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27 Oct 2014, 7:42 am

Dear Marleyandme, I did the 'normal adult' thing of having a family, but the same un-met communication needs that i had as a kid continued to affect my adult life ~ i don't regret having my family, but do wish i was diagnosed as a kid (certainly could have been), then i wouldn't have spent my whole life deflecting other people's disrespect about my 'weird habits' and 'uncalled for outbursts' ~ hope that whatever diagnosis you get it leads to whatever support you need. T


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marleyandme
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27 Oct 2014, 7:51 am

Hi and thanks. I seem to be the only person in my life that can't get it right no matter how hard I try. I'm starting to see that it may be for a reason other than me just being a failure. It's kinda nice to realise I may not be such a weird freak and others have the same difficulties.