Problems with planning, scheduling, budgeting

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Pretty much anything that involves planning for the future, I have a very hard time with. It's not that I don't know how to do it. But if I try to sit down and do a schedule, I will plan every last minute, even including sleep time. I have to fill the whole schedule, I can't have blank spaces. It usually takes me hours to do this.

The other problem is, if things don't go the way I've planned, I don't necessarily have a meltdown or get extremely frustrated (though if it is something I was looking forward to I might), but either way I can't follow the schedule anymore, because now it is wrong, and I don't like even looking at it.

I know that isn't rational and that I can't see everything that will happen (really, it's not like I can predict anything). I know that. But for some reason I need to. That is why I have never used school planners and such, up until going to university, and that didn't go too well, to put it extremely lightly.

I can do fine without a schedule at this point, I just have work Monday-Friday, 8-5, then come home, and do whatever I need or want to do, then go to bed and repeat.

My problem now is money. I keep spending more than I should, because I either buy on impulse, or I have a routine of buying a certain thing often (like lunch while I'm on break at work). Making lunch at home would be much cheaper (actually it would be zero cost to me) but the fact that I'd have to decide what to make and/or bring the next day every night, rather than having the same thing every day, makes it very difficult. In middle and high school, I took the cup ramen noodles for lunch almost every day after my step mom told me I needed to make my own lunches. The only time I didn't is if we ran out, in which case I took some other similar microwaveable item, we always had something. I guess I could buy a bunch of those, but they don't give me a lot of energy, which would be a problem at my job, as it is pretty active.

Also, I know I need to budget all of my money, because I should have a decent amount every month for savings, but I always seem to barely make it until the next paycheck. I get in this mindset of, "I have money", and then I just buy things without thinking, and I feel really stupid afterwards, especially when I can't even return the item. Usually they are small things, but it must be adding up. But I have the same problem with budgeting as I do with scheduling. I need it to be exact, or at least close to it, and every time I have tried to make a budget, I get stressed because I start thinking about all the different categories, and I realize how hard it is to even accurately estimate what I'd actually need for this and that, because as it is right now I don't even know what I spend for those things. Let alone the amounts that I spend that I don't need to spend. Heck, I can't even predict how much I will make, as sometimes I have to stay late multiple days in a row, or I get to leave early, which decreases it, and my paychecks end up being different sometimes by $50 or more. It is very overwhelming.

I don't know how many others have or have had problems like this, but if so, I would really appreciate any advice. Most people I have talked to seem to think I just don't know how to budget or plan, but that is definitely not it. If someone just simply asked me, "How do you make a budget?", I could give them a huge and detailed explanation with a lot of good information on how to make a decent budget (I took a finance class in school and I remember a lot of what we learned). Ironically I can't seem to actually apply that knowledge at all.

I totally understand where you are coming from.

When I was in college, I made these elaborate schedules showing when I would eat, sleep, shower, go to class, do homework, etc. Of course, life never works that way. I gave up on day planners a long time ago because I would get stressed if something got off by 15 minutes. The whole schedule would be shot!

Now, when it comes to planning and organizing, I use a "chunk" method. I plan my "morning chunk", my "afternoon chunk" and my "evening chunk." I also try to "chunk" all the like things together. When I have to do housework, I like to try to do everything on one day. If I have to make phone calls, I like to do them all at once. If I have to do errands, I try to do them all at once. Some people spread things out, but that does not work for me. It gives me anxiety knowing I have to make phone calls or go out (going out does not make me anxious. but trying to remember everything I need for going out or thinking about if I am going to have time to finish something before I go out makes me nervous.) So, it is better if I can get all the things that make me anxious done in one clump.

My husband handles the money.

But, some things I think would be helpful are to split your income up into category envelopes and give yourself only that amount to work with until your next paycheck. Pay yourself first, in terms of savings. Put aside the amount you want to save before you divide up the rest of your money. Allow yourself a certain amount/number of days to buy lunch. Then bring the rest of your lunches. It would be helpful to have something on hand for "emergencies", like the ramen cups or maybe a meal replacement bar, for when you forget to plan for lunch the night before. Then, work on planning lunches.

I do know something about food planning. The idea is to make and divide things up ahead, so you can just "grab and go" without it requiring a lot of day-to-day planning and thinking. I know someone who makes up a bunch of bologna sandwiches, wraps them, and freezes them for work. In the morning, he just grabs one out of the freezer. This could be done with other deli meats as well. If you have access to a microwave, you can make a lunch with leftovers from dinner. Then, just grab the container from the fridge. If you buy a big bag of chips, divide it up into snack bag portions (or you could buy the small bags, but they are a lot more expensive.) It is easy to just grab a bag and add it to your lunch. Same with cookies. A lot of fruit is already portioned - just grab an apple or a banana. Granola bars are also an easy-to-grab snack. It would be helpful to keep all of your lunch things together. Put all the snack items on the same shelf. Put all your refrigerated items on the same shelf (or maybe you can put a small basket in the fridge with your stuff in it.)

There are a couple of overall strategies to planning that I have found helpful:

1. DO AS MUCH AHEAD AS POSSIBLE. I *cannot* think about planning while I am in the full-swing of activity. Everything must stop while I am planning so I can focus on it. I use certain days off to do a lot of strategy/preparing. I cannot do this "plan the night before for the next day." For me, it must be "plan today for the whole week" or "plan this week for the whole next 6 months." I often think about what I am going to wear for the whole week ahead of time.

2. MAKE IT EASY TO DO SOMETHING. This is why I mentioned keeping all the stuff together in one spot. The less effort it takes for you to do something, the more likely it is you will be able to do it. If you have to search the entire fridge to find the mayonnaise, you are going to feel defeated before you even start making a sandwich. If you know everything you need to make a sandwich is in a little basket in the fridge, all you have to do is pull out the basket. Much quicker, much simpler, much more likely to get done.

Figure out what your natural habits are and try to make your environment match your habits, rather than trying to change your habits to match your environment. For example, if you realize that when you open the fridge, your eyes automatically go to the 2nd shelf, put your stuff on the 2nd shelf. It will trigger you to remember what you need to do.

3. PLAN A MARGIN OF ERROR. This is why I said to have something on hand for an emergency in case you forget to make lunch or get too busy. You can do this with money, too. Make one of your categories a slush fund. If you spend too much in one category, you can take money from the slush fund without blowing your planning for all the other categories. If you don't spend all the money in the categories, you can either save your money or spend more of it on something you want. It is hard to know how much money one will need for certain categories before one has time to track it. It really is impossible to set a budget ahead of time - one can only guess at first. Over time, track what you spend in each category, and you can adjust accordingly.

This is very helpful. I'm grateful for this thread and reply.

I'm probably in the minority where I don't follow a schedule.

I mean I don't like anything new coming up in my life every day, but I still don't follow a schedule.

I completely understand this as well. Routines really mess me up because they cause me to spend more money, say I go to 7-eleven every day after work and buy a Sprite for $2.04. I would save more money buying cases of Sprite to have in the house. The problem with lots of soda in the house is I just drink it nonstop, so I drink more than I would stopping at 7-eleven. So it's either stop everyday for a drink, or drink too much soda at home and lose my routine. Anything can be a routine, I can come home from work and make tea, but if the wrong kind of tea is there or it has gone stale or if we're out of milk or honey or something it'll "break" my routine, so it doesn't satisfy the same. ( i have the same thing with morning coffee routine, all elements must be present in advance for routine to go smoothly and I need this more than I realize bc if some element is missing and I have to go to Dunkin Donuts, I feel off for the day even though I very much enjoy DD!)

As far as budgeting goes.... it is very frustrating. Do people really set aside $6.25 a week for toiletries to add up to a monthly allotment of $25!?!? I don't understand this part at all. ALso there are times certain toiletries are on sale and coupons to use to save money and extrabucks for CVS and such

I thought of the ultimate solution just to seriously make so much money that budgeting never becomes a concern, then I start reading about building wealth and investing money et.c even the rich don't have it easy!!

I did have some success using the YNAB budget... Google it, it's a program that you can use to get yourself a month ahead on expenses, etc. and is pretty easy to use, I learned it fast during the 30=day trial where I learned that I don't make enough money to actually live in my city and afford everything that I'm used to (cable, internet, etc). Which lead to trying to get a second job....

This reminds me of the thing about trying to live on McDonald's wage you can read about here. My situation is similar I make $10.50/hr for 35 hrs a week; I need a second job to afford America's cost of living (at least in my city, which I know I need to move out of).

kirayng - I have the same situation with sweets as you do with sprite. I also have a coffee routine where I grind the beans, etc. and if some element is missing, I feel off for the day.

I make $10.54 an hour and had another full-time job to live the way I want. The other full-time job evaporated when the employer retired, so I took early Social Security to get by.

nerdygirl, thank you so much. You have a lot of helpful ideas. I didn't think about using envelopes for my money, and I think it may be helpful for me to physically separate it like that. I will have to withdraw it from an ATM, luckily my bank refunds ATM fees.

And the idea about making a bunch of sandwiches sounds a lot more appealing than making a sandwich or other lunch every night. Because then I would be worried about running out if ingredients and being stuck without food. I just don't like the uncertainty of not really knowing what is going to be available when I open the fridge. I'll probably have to buy my own ingredients, I don't think my grandparents would appreciate me using all their ingredients to make a ton of sandwiches. But that shouldn't be a problem.

I am making $9/hour, approximately 40 hours a week. I just switched jobs, from one where I got paid weekly, to getting paid monthly. So unfortunately I have to stretch two weeks of pay for a whole month. One if the biggest expenses for me is gas, as my job is 35 miles away, so I have to fill the tank once or sometimes twice in a week. For a whole month it ends up probably being around $200, which will be about 25%-30% of my check I get on Monday. Hopefully I can stretch the rest for all of November.

I can relate.

I have a business school education & all the knowledge anyone would need to do a simple budget.. but could not complete it or stick to it and ended up in debt. Very frustrating.

The reason is problems with executive brain functions for planning, organizing, resisting impulses, being disciplined and responsible for your future etc. As was recently pointed out to me by a friend's mother who works with learning disabled kids at a high school, it's those with the best executive functions who have the greatest financial success. They're the "ants" vs. grasshoppers.

Anyways, in my case, the executive functions of my brain turned out to be extremely impaired by salicylate acid sensitivity. Everything I was eating, drinking, or putting on my skin was literally poisoning me. I stopped consuming anything with them & used an epsom salt lotion on my skin to absorb the salts in order to detox the acids. This worked wonders within days. I continue to use it now, 2 years later. Granted, I've done other things to treat myself (diet/detox wise) but my entire life has changed, including my financial life. I now have some savings in the bank I've never had before. I'm able to save almost everything I don't Need to spend. Impulse buys are not a problem. I have no consumer debt. I can plan/budget and stick to things without issue.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

For food at work I just make a week?s food in advance. For example 5 pounds of potatoes will last me 2 weeks I will need 2 lettuce?s and 1 bag of carrots. The total cost is less than 10 dollars. I couldn?t make a meal everyday that?d break me nor could I go out and pay for one at a fast food place. So I?d suggest just making a week?s supply in advance. If you can do more that'd be awesome but after a week the stuff I make starts to spoil.

My income is mildly unstable as well for me it?s because I?m not guaranteed any hours a week like most jobs guarantee you a minimum number of hours of work but I work a production schedule. Still I?ve always found budgeting easy. I figured out exactly how many days a week I needed to work to pay my bills, 4(it?s an overestimation just to simplify things I make a little extra with 4 days but means something goes to savings), and then I know exactly how much I make for that fifth day if I get it. So the only income I actually take into account is that fifth day a week if I get it. Also if your hours fluctuate you can do this based on an hourly model rather than day model. For example rather than 4 days just say I need 32 hours of work to pay my bills and only hours over that will I pay attention to so I work 36 hours a week for example I only pay attention to 4 of them. So then at the end of the month I tally up how much(2-3 fifth days I?ve worked) then I take that for spending for the next month while I repeat the entire process. Not even doing anything about those 4 days I work just completely ignoring them really simplifies things. Then dealing with money on a monthly basis rather than weekly also really simplifies things because then I don?t need to wonder how much I?ll make because that?s next month?s problem I know how much I made last month so I know how much I have for this month. Mind you it only works because my expenses are repetitive and thus easily predicted. Although you could try to apply it to any income model the only rule is the number of hours you work that you ignore has to be greater than your worst case expenses. Then if you end up not having worst case expense weeks for example you prepare for 500 expense weeks but only expend 300 you can tally up money you didn't need at the end of month.

Also I?m not an impulsive buyer but there is a very easy accommodation for that. For the extra money you make a month just take it out in cash and only spend cash if you?re impulsive you?ll run out of cash and then won?t be able to buy things for the month. Your money in the bank necessary for bills will be safeguarded by this process. Depending on your level of inhibition there are also other safeguards you can put in place to ensure you can?t get to your money.

I realize full well that rigid black and white rules work very well for myself & others on the spectrum.

I've simplified my budgeting/spending rules to quite an extreme with only one really simple rule of a question that keeps my spending in check.

And that is:

Do I Need it, or Want it?

If the answer is Need, then I buy it. Food, clothing, shelter, transportation etc - actual Needs. I only buy quality nutritious foods. I buy clothing at thrift stores, online, or relatively inexpensively. Shelter costs are minimal at the moment. Transportation costs consist of gas, a bit of oil & maintenance costs for my transportation appliance of a car - insurance is prepaid for another handful of months & I just put a good set of used winter tires on for cheap.

If the answer is Want, then I don't buy it & simply keep it on a mental wish list for when I either Need it OR can truly afford to indulge in a Want w/o jeopardizing my short term cash flow, or long term savings and investment plans.

2 years ago I was more than $100K in the red. My bankruptcy has since discharged 13 months ago & I'm in the black and going nowhere but up!

My one extremely simple rule has helped me keep on track with this big time. The only significant setbacks in savings have been due to giving generous gifts recently, but due to how frugal I've become I can afford to do so w/o screwing myself over. My income has dropped significantly recently, and with Christmas coming I'll have to keep tight to my own rule - but I can handle it just fine. Then as my income rises again w/ better work opportunities/future promotions I'm aiming for to more lucrative roles, I'll simply be able to save and invest more again vs. increase my spending on wants. Over time this is sure to make me significantly wealthier than I am now & eventually I'll have the capital in place to pursue my business plan dreams. It all starts with one simple rule and dedication to a plan.. eventually the compound effect adds up & I'll get where I'm going - just the same as you can do for yourself if you put your mind to it.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.