WrongPlanet.net
WP Members: > 80,000



Aspie Affection

New Today: 12
New Yesterday: 22

Jokes About Asperger's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Random Discussion     
hyperbolic
Top Secret Level Ultra
Phoenix


Joined: Aug 15, 2006
Posts: 1943

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:16 pm    Post subject: Jokes About Asperger's Reply with quote

Post your jokes about Asperger's here.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Fedaykin
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: May 22, 2007
Posts: 405
Location: Sundsvall, Sweden

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

(joke)

They said I should make something out of myself, so I shaped my body like a tree.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Aysmptotes
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: May 11, 2007
Posts: 300

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Person 1: Knock knock....

Person 1: Knock knock...

Person 1: I said, "KNOCK KNOCK!"

AS Person: GO AWAY!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why did the aspie cross the road?

To get to the other side.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

Just the one.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
MysteryFan3
Ex-COBOL dinosaur. roar.
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 09, 2007
Age: 57
Posts: 1358
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asparval wrote:
How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

Just the one.


You don't actually change the bulb, you replace it. Very Happy
_________________
To eliminate poverty, you have to eliminate at least three things: time, the bell curve and the Pauli Exclusion Principle. Have fun.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not if you paint it blue.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
hyperbolic
Top Secret Level Ultra
Phoenix


Joined: Aug 15, 2006
Posts: 1943

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here is my first "joke":

Jack and Jill went up the acclivity. At the top, they sat down for a picnic. Finally, Jack was able to ask Jill a question he had been anxious about.

"Jill, What do you think of Asperger's Syndrome?" Jack asked.
"I have heard of it. I think it's a cat with wings," Jill replied.
"No, seriously," responded Jack.
"I wasn't joking!" Jill replied.
"Then why did you make a joke?" responded Jack.
"It wasn't a joke, it was a metaphor, you boring dolt!" Jill replied.
"Ok. Well, could you explain the metaphor to me?" responded Jack.
"Well, what I meant by the metaphor is that it happens when pigs fly," Jill replied.
"Ah. But pigs can't fly," responded Jack.
"You idiot, it's a figure of speech," Jill replied.
"Ok. Then could you explain this figure of speech to me?" responded Jack.
"Well, it's like finding a needle in a haystack," Jill replied.
"Ah. So, do these 'pigs' and 'haystacks' reside on the same farm?" Jack asked.
"No, no, no. You can't understand anything! Why are you making a mountain out of a mole hill?" Jill replied.
"I have Asperger's Syndrome, which makes your metaphors and figures of speech difficult to understand," responded Jack.
"Oh! I'm sorry! What I've been meaning to say is that AS makes a person very unique and special," Jill replied.
"Thank you for finally answering my question," responded Jack.
"No problem," Jill replied.

They were happily halfway down the acclivity when Jack turned to Jill. "Now, I have to agree with you about the mole hill. Did you know that just a few years ago it wasn't like this. Now, we can have picnics at the top. But it is becoming a mountain and it is probably time we call the exterminators," said Jack.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 39
Posts: 91279
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Punk Rocker walks by.

A young female NT points and yells, "Look at that Aspie, over there!"

I happen to be the Punker, and I ask - "How did you know I'm an Aspie?"

She squeals, "Like your arms are totally hangning down, as you walk!"

I walk past her.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Avian
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 500

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An Aspie is standing in a room full of about two dozen NT's.

The NT's are all mulling about chatting, while the Aspie keeps to himself; mostly just staring downward.

Suddenly and inexplicably the NT's all spontaneously start hopping up and down while saying (in silly high-pitched voices) "Pancakes! Pancakes!".

The Aspie is confounded by this behavior; but being desperately lonely, and always wishing to be a part of things (contrary to common NT belief) thinks: "well, this doesn't appear difficult; even looks sort of fun."

So the Aspie joins in, hopping up and down saying "Pancakes! Pancakes!" in a silly voice.

At that instant: the NT's all suddenly stop, and all of their eyes immediately fall upon the Aspie (who immediately stops as well).

The NT's just stand there, staring at the Aspie as though the latter were insane.

Feeling awkward and embarrassed: the Aspie leaves the room.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor Who?

Doctor Smith, I've brought round your wallet; you left it in the surgery when you came to see me about your AS.

Oh, thank you, just pop it through the letter box Rolling Eyes
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"My dog's got no nose"

"Really? How does it smell?"

"I think you will find it has a severely impaired sense of smell due to the damage suffered by it's olfactory passage" Rolling Eyes
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(Really lame)

Why is Captain Scarlet an aspie?

Because he works for Spectrum! Rolling Eyes


AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I can't stop!!!!

Somebody please stop me!!! Laughing
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Asparval
The Big Chicken
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Posts: 1175
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between ...............

No,no,no,no,no!!!

Stop it now ~ you're not funny!!!!

AAAAGGGHHH
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Random Discussion   
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  

 
Read more Articles on Wrong Planet



Wrong Planet is a Registered Trademark.
Copyright 2004-2014, Wrong Planet, LLC and Alex Plank. Alex does public speaking for Autism.

Advertise on Wrong Planet

Alex Hotchalk / Glam 

Alex Plank  Aspie Affection 

Terms of Service - You must read this as a user of Wrong Planet | Privacy Policy

Subscribe: RSS Feed  Wrong Planet News  Wrong Planet Forums




fine art