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ZedSimon
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 11, 2005
Posts: 741
Location: Alone At The Lunch Table
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 Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 5:25 pm Post subject: "Nice to meet you" and other odd social customs |
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Why do you say "Nice to meet you" when you've just been introduced to someone? Think about it: you hardly know the other person - isn't it a little premature to say how nice it is to know them? After all, the person you just met could be the biggest SOB on the planet. Would it still be nice to know them after you found out the truth? I just gotta wonder sometimes.
What other phrases or customs give you pause? |
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spacemonkey
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: 622
Location: Atlanta, Ga
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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Yep
What about "how you doin?"
Sometimes I hear people say this several times to the same person, in a matter of seconds.
They just go back and forth. It's like a little ritual.
Howyadoin..goodhowareyou..goodI'msoandso..hiI'msoandso..howyadoin..good
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Serissa
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Joined: Jul 11, 2005
Posts: 4570
Location: A DEN OF INIQUITY!!!
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Hand-shaking and hugging makes me actually physically pause, or cringe. I can understand why they became customs (hand shaking to show you're not armed, hugging because NTs rule the world- heh heh, I'm not cynical) but still.... ugh. |
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vetivert
gagged, but never silent
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 5768
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:13 am Post subject: |
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yep - an awful lot of what i call "conversational conventions" seem pointless - "how are you?" is the one which always stumps me. but i just treat them as a script, and do them anyway. helps to oil the cogs of interaction, even if i think they're pointless. and it just seems to make life that little bit easier if i say the right thing. doesn't take much (in this instance) for an an easier life.
just think of it as a different culture, as though you're visiting another country. then you just do what the natives do, and then they don't think you're odd, and YOU fit in that little bit better.
less hassle all round. |
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Sean
Banned
Joined: Apr 04, 2005
Posts: 3503
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 3:23 am Post subject: |
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| Serissa wrote: | | Hand-shaking and hugging makes me actually physically pause, or cringe. I can understand why they became customs (hand shaking to show you're not armed, hugging because NTs rule the world- heh heh, I'm not cynical) but still.... ugh. |
Actually hand shaking came about to show that you are not a threat. You could still be armed but by shaking hands, you show that you are not going to strike them down. |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6219
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 7:34 am Post subject: |
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When people compliment me, I don't know what to say. I suppose I should just say "Thankyou".
When people dining at my work crack jokes that are supposed to be funny and aren't I have no idea what to say. A false laugh would sound too forced. |
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rumio
Toucan
Joined: May 23, 2005
Posts: 257
Location: uk
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 7:58 am Post subject: Re: "Nice to meet you" and other odd social custom |
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| ZedSimon wrote: | I just gotta wonder sometimes.
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me too
jeez, lighten up dude!
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Orfantal
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 18, 2005
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:17 am Post subject: |
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I've thought about this before - unless it's meeting friends of friends that you know you're never going to see again, I usually say it because I mean it. If I don't, I usually boil it down to a smile or a "heya" or something like that.
Sometimes I feel like there's too many throw-away lines in conversation, so I try to use them sparingly. I guess it's a matter of maintaining the illusion of balance for myself... |
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PaulB
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 29, 2005
Posts: 217
Location: Chicago, IL, US
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:19 am Post subject: |
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I don't say "Nice to meet you" to people, because I don't know if it is nice to meet that person. I just say "Hello" and leave it at that.
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Serissa
Ex-Moderator
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Joined: Jul 11, 2005
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Location: A DEN OF INIQUITY!!!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:59 am Post subject: |
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I occasionally make fun of people who ask "how are you?" by responding to the question in a very literal way, like:
"That's a very deep question. One could say 'I think, therefore I am," but this merely validates my existance and does now explain its origins. Scientifically, I exist because my parents had intimate relations at a specific time over 19 years ago, but who, or what, made them? The implications of infinite regression are very serious indeed..." ((I'll just babble on till they get the joke.))
Another question people ask often is "What's up?" Now, some people will simply say "The sky" or "the ceiling." I have my own favorite response to that one:
"A word which when spelled out in front of a child who is toilet training and is taken as a command loses all of its humor very quickly." ((That one I can pull off better than the "how are you" response because I've scripted it better.))
| Sean wrote: | | Serissa wrote: | | Hand-shaking and hugging makes me actually physically pause, or cringe. I can understand why they became customs (hand shaking to show you're not armed, hugging because NTs rule the world- heh heh, I'm not cynical) but still.... ugh. |
Actually hand shaking came about to show that you are not a threat. You could still be armed but by shaking hands, you show that you are not going to strike them down. |
ah. S'been awhile since I recieved information on the origins of hand-shaking.  |
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Namiko
snape-o-doodle
Joined: Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 2439
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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When people ask "How are you?", I almost always respond with "I'm still alive" with some forced sarcasm, of course.  Usually just after I meet people, I make a quick, but firm nod of my head rather than saying anything. It seems to drive some people crazy, but that's their problem.
I hate shaking hands.  I'm also a lefty, so naturally, I would go to shake hands with my left hand. People don't seem to appreciate that too much...
| Quote: | | Actually hand shaking came about to show that you are not a threat. You could still be armed but by shaking hands, you show that you are not going to strike them down. |
Wasn't that the way that former President McKinley was killed? Someone shook his hand and had a gun in the other hand?
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thatrsdude
Proud owner of a custom title
Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1176
Location: SA, Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Namiko wrote: | When people ask "How are you?", I almost always respond with "I'm still alive" with some forced sarcasm, of course. Usually just after I meet people, I make a quick, but firm nod of my head rather than saying anything. It seems to drive some people crazy, but that's their problem.
I hate shaking hands. I'm also a lefty, so naturally, I would go to shake hands with my left hand. People don't seem to appreciate that too much...
| Quote: | | Actually hand shaking came about to show that you are not a threat. You could still be armed but by shaking hands, you show that you are not going to strike them down. |
Wasn't that the way that former President McKinley was killed? Someone shook his hand and had a gun in the other hand? |
I think he was taking advantage of that fact to trick him into believing he wasn't a threat. I doubt most people ever do that.
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vetivert
gagged, but never silent
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 5768
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Namiko wrote: | | Usually just after I meet people, I make a quick, but firm nod of my head rather than saying anything. It seems to drive some people crazy, but that's their problem. |
well, that's one attitude to have, but then they could say the same about anything which would make life easier for aspies, couldn't they? seems to me that all interaction is about give and take, and how much does it cost to say "fine, thanks"? i prefer to ask people to make an effort as regards my AS on the things that really matter. and if YOU are making an effort with common courtesy, then it's money in the bank, as it were, and they won't be pissed off with you before you've even started.
/me shrugs.
aren't there more important things to do with having AS than just following a social script? |
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Bryan
Emu Egg
Joined: Jul 13, 2005
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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| I find it confusing when people greet me by saying 'alright?'. What do you say to that? I'm not even sure if it's meant to be a question. |
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MovieMogul
Toucan
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Joined: Jul 08, 2005
Posts: 260
Location: In front of my monitor in Logan, Qld, Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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I say 'nice to meet you' if I've been talking to them for longer than 5 minutes, and must part ways. I'll only say it when I have had a pleasant experience talking to them.
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