Reverse Bullying

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My son is 15 years old and wants to be with people and loves to socialize . The problem is he gets picked on alot and when he retaliates, he is the one who is loudest and ends up getting into trouble. Today he was at a cross country meet and this one boy who he has had trouble with for a few years now, started in on him , picking at him, calling him names, teasing and just basically making him feel bad. Jarrod usually does not get physical, but today, he hit the kid. He had just had enough. I try to get him to just walk away. Ignore the kid. But, he can't seem to let it go. Usually he says things back to the kid and that is where he gets into trouble. But, today he hit him. I just wish kids would just let him alone and then, he would be fine. I tell him to ignore people when they pick at him. Itis really hard for him. I tell him to never hit, but he did today. I want so much for him to have friends.

Last edited by JarrodsMom on 22 Sep 2007, 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with you, they shouldn't be bullying him. However, it's vital you teach him how to address this without violence and/or getting himself into trouble. It would be a shame to see him suffer more consequences as a result of the jerks picking on him. They'll do it all the more if they see they're getting the better of him too. I'm sorry he's going through this, I've been there. I finally let go on some girl in high school. Of course, I was the one who got in trouble.

be careful. my aspie view on this: i follow the rules strictly. My mother told me to never use violence and try to talk to fix the problems. This is a rule i applied 100%. Never hit anyone, and tried to talk while i was beaten.... see the picture ?

Don't know if this will help but it has worked with Z my 10 yr Aspie. When other kids verbally pick on your son the best way to "get back" them is to try ignoring them. Hard to do I know but they want to see your son retaliate, and when he does so their goal is met.

Which is completely useless and in some cases dangerous advice. There are lots of reasons for bullying and there are lots of ways to bully some of which can be extremely damaging physically, emotionally or both. What you have to do is get people involved in it and recognise the problem.

I feel for you, I'm going through exactly the same thing with my 14yr old son - he gets picked on then retaliates physically. I've always been the one to tell him to 'rise above it' or 'walk away and ignore it' but his dad tells him to 'give em a whack' then they'll leave him alone.

I have to say, and no doubt a lot of you will disagree with the concept, but his method is working a lot better than mine. The bullies are now finding some other poor kid who's an easier target, realsing that Jack's too much trouble to pick on because he's not scared to lash out.

The big downside of course is that he's the one that gets into trouble.

I wish you luck.

Lorna