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RudolfsDad
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Nov 27, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 68
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 Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:23 pm Post subject: Are you treated well by peers? |
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I have a son with AS. I worry a lot about him being bullied in school. Teachers and school administrators swear to me that this sort of thing is taken seriously these days and isn't ignored like it was when I was in school. They swear to me that bullying is not a problem in their school. I have found this very difficult to believe, mostly because I remember being harassed mercilessly when I was a teenager and I remember teachers being mostly clueless about it back then.
I realize that this may be a difficult topic for some, and I apologize for that. I am curious, though, about how teenagers with AS are treated by their peers. I want to learn how to help my son through this if he gets bullied. If you do have trouble with harassment from peers, is there anything you wish your parents would do to help? |
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Selo
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 16, 2007
Age: 14
Posts: 373
Location: Sandy Spring, MD
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Well I'm a teen with AS, but I don't remember any instances of bad bullying from peers. Nothing worse than what every other kid in school has gotten, and probably not even that bad. But that's just me; I have a hunch you're going to get a lot of mixed responses here. |
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poopylungstuffing
Bohemian Cave dweller
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 33
Posts: 3554
Location: not otherwise specified
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I was badly bullied all through school, but it sorta stopped by the time I reached High School |
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iceb
Tarkalean hawk
Joined: Apr 27, 2007
Posts: 1243
Location: The Liberator flight deck
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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I am of the same generation as yourself probably and would also find the schools assurances hard to accept although there is no doubt we do now live in far more enlightened times.
Your enquiry here shows an awareness that is most likely the most helpful thing you both have.
I just recall my adolescence (quite a time ago) where I was in an environment where my difficulties were well understood most what was done did little to stop the persistent bullying I received.
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KenSan
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Posts: 64
Location: Berlin
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| Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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I was mostly homeschooled, but when I was in a public school I didn't have too many problems. It helped that I looked way more muscular than I really am. Mostly kids just ignored me, kind of like now.
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beautifuloblivion
Invisible Monster
Joined: Nov 06, 2007
Posts: 1051
Location: Mare Serenitatis
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| Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I've never been bullied, the worst I've faced has been indifference from my peers. I guess I'm not the best example because my school is known for having very little bullying. It must because the main focus is arts, so there is the hierarchy of the "jocks" and cheerleaders that comes with a school focused on atheletics. |
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Stevopedia
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 03, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 401
Location: Nowhere Land, Maryland, United States
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| Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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I was bullied pretty badly in elementary school, but that vanished in middle school. Now, since I go to a science and math school where practically everybody is an aspie, bullying is a non-issue (there is loads of good-natured teasing, but we all get along and everyone takes it well.)
I've been pretty lucky in that respect.
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What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness that gives everything its value.
-Thomas Paine, The American Crisis |
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3728
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject: Re: Are you treated well by peers? |
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I am a teen (16) with AS.
When I was at high school, I was quite badly bullied. I was locked in the bathrooms, had things thrown at me, chased, ignored, excluded and once even received a death threat.
There was nothing that I wanted my mother to do. I didn't want her to know about it, I wanted to take care of it myself...but that never happened.
Now I dropped out of high-school...have no school qualifications and can't get a job.
I am not saying that this will happen to every teen with AS, it's just my experience. I also went to a rather bad high school too, so that would have been a major factor of why I was bullied.
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- Unknown Author.
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Helek_Aphel
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 02, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 327
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| Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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With a few major exeptions, I think I've been treated fairly well.
Yes, I've been bullied and ostracized, but I still think I've been treated fairly well. |
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Netish
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Posts: 62
Location: FL
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:56 am Post subject: |
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| I was bullied unmercifally throughout elementary school, but I was in a private school. In middle school, I was in a special higher level program so the kids generally didn't bother you if you didn't bother them. But, I didn't really care about people by then and didn't pay attention. I was told later that some people had made fun of me behind my back but I didn't really care. In high school I just didn't care about people other than teachers because my "obession" was learning and my school work. I'm a senior now, and it's still the same. I'm set apart from my peers because I know so much stuff and get practically perfect grades. However, I'm good at not offending anybody so it's not like people hate me, I'm more like a part of the background. This makes it so I don't really have any friends... I would suggest you ask one of his siblings if you have have another child, or try to get involved in the school like volunteering for helping with a class party or chaperoning a field trip. I found that the best way for me to deal with persecution from my peers was to read. You can't go wrong with reading. It helps grammar, spelling, comprehention, vocabulary, and lots of other things. Feel free to contact me if you want some reading suggestions. |
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SpaceCase
Always Here,Never There...
Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Age: 18
Posts: 2669
Location: Mississippi,USA
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| Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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I have been badly bullied in school. But then I started to stick up for myself. People got scared of me then.
-SpaceCase
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CRACK
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 729
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| Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:35 am Post subject: |
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| I'm in the same boat as selo; I was no more bullied than the average kid. All this talk about Aspies getting bullied makes me wonder what kind of school everyone else went to or, for that matter, what are other Aspies doing to make themselves a target? I kept mostly to myself when I was in school. I didn't make friends, but I didn't make enemies either. Sometimes there were one or two groups of kids that would harrass me because of how quiet I was, but I never lashed out or anything. Eventually they just stopped. |
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E_thing
Emu Egg
Joined: Dec 22, 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 2:04 am Post subject: |
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I was bullied a bit in middle school but quickly learned how to stop it.
Very surprising for an Aspie but I actually am kind of popular. I totally hate almost all contact with people at school, save one or two, but I just smile and act friendly and laugh at the right times. People always assume I have somewhere better to be so I get out of going to their parties and stuff or sitting with them at lunch. And the kids at my school mercilessly tease the kids who look like more obviously awkward people.
Pretty much, if your son can act and can be fake all day long he'll be fine. If he just wants to be himself, he's probably going to get teased. I decided that it was better to put up a wall, and its working for me, but I guess its a personal decision. |
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MeganVegantoast
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Dec 21, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 53
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm also really popular for an aspie. The only disadvantage is everyone wants to talk to me all the time, which gets annoying. But really, I just act like myself... its weird, my school accepts me and thinks I'm a pretty cool kid. =] |
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Teoka
Raven
Joined: Sep 23, 2007
Posts: 122
Location: Northern VA
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:29 am Post subject: |
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Aspies are bully magnets, so be prepared for the worst.
My elementary school experience, socially, was hell. Middle school was just lonely, but high school has been okay-ish so far. Granted, there's a lot more drama, and people can be a lot crueler, but I've learned to stick up for myself and even scare some people off.
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