WrongPlanet.net
WP Members: > 80,000



Aspie Affection

New Today: 1
New Yesterday: 18

Nervous for first gynecologist visit
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Women's Discussion     
lion_crest
Hummingbird
Hummingbird


Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 18

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:35 pm    Post subject: Nervous for first gynecologist visit Reply with quote

I'm incredibly nervous for my first gynecologist visit. I have a problem with people touching me and I can't think about the appointment without being frightened, anxious and self-conscious of someone being that close to me physically. I've never had sex before, but I understand it's vital to have at least a yearly appointment even if you're a virgin. Does anyone have any advice that may help? I would be very grateful.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Cure Neurotypicals Now!


Joined: Apr 02, 2007
Posts: 2150
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lion_crest,

Tell the gynecologist that you feel nervous and ask him/her to tell you exactly what they're going to do.

The gynecologist will have to look and perform an internal examination. They probably will do a Pap Smear which involves placing a metallic looking object in your vagina and taking a sample. It is a little uncomfortable (and often COLD).

They will have to palpate (which means feel with their fingers) internally.

Helen
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
beentheredonethat
Grouchy Old Man


Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 703

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:26 pm    Post subject: Yeah, a guy, but this was on the front page Reply with quote

I worked in a hospital for years. I don't know of a patient who wasn't nervous. But as our lead gynocologist said, consider alternatives. They're pretty terrible. Cervical Cancer is one of the things they can catch on the exam...gotten early enough, it is serious, but not fatal in this day and age. If a male gynocologist makes you uncomfortable, than ask for a woman.

My wife has had exactly the opposite experience. She insists on a male (a particular male) and she's not really happy (since we moved) that he's back in California. She went to a woman this time, and said "I'm appalled. She was so unsympathetic." I'm sure some women are not, but it's an interesting sidelight. Remember this. The entire procedure is scientific. It is meant to keep you healthy and pain free, and alive if they catch something.

As a male, I can't tell you how uncomfortable a prostate exame is (they go in from the other end) but it catches some very nasty stuff if it's a problem, and catches it before it's too late to do something about it. So I submit to it. I don't like it, but I submit to it.

As Helen said, ask them to explain what they're doing and why. With a first-timer, they will, and look at it as any other type of medical procedure. It is meant to keep you healthy and pain free.

Try to calm down about it, good luck, and I'm sure everything will be fine.

Beentheredonethat (well, not in this case)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 63
Posts: 15241

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just let her know (your health care provider is a her, right?) that you are probably less comfortable than most about the exam. They will often bring in another person just to hang out with you (read 'distract' you) while it is going on below. Sometimes you can bring your own distraction! Ask!

And it is a good health practice for any female past pueberty, cause you could remain a virgin all your life but still need to keep your insides healthy. They can catch things long before they become a problem.

Merle
_________________
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” – Albert Camus
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
zghost
oh hi there
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 1474
Location: Southeast Texas

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don worry, they'll expect you to be nervous and try to make it as easy as possible for you.
It's not like people actually enjoy these visits.
My approach is to zone out if possible and stare at the ceiling.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Belfast
Vast Ambivalence
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 18, 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 1998
Location: Windham County, VT

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Know they're medical professionals but this is nonetheless an extremely intimate/invasive exam to endure. Am not talented at spontaneous smalltalk with strangers, but if I can come up with a potential safe & engaging topic ahead of time to discuss with the examiner, it may work as partial distraction while I'm trying to pretend this isn't happening. Knowing what to expect next and the duration is helpful in minimizing uncertainty (during the exam)-on the other hand, I don't want to get any more squeamish/disgusted/embarrassed than I already am. At least having a backup unrelated subject, of interest to oneself-though something socially acceptable to share, can smooth the situation/pass the time (which feels like forever yet is actually quite brief). Of course, it also depends on personality of the person you are assigned to, once you find a person you like get their name so you can ask for them specifically next time.
_________________
*"I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't."*
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Brittany2907
Neopets Addict
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's


Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 4920
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:00 am    Post subject: Re: Nervous for first gynecologist visit Reply with quote

lion_crest wrote:
I'm incredibly nervous for my first gynecologist visit. I have a problem with people touching me and I can't think about the appointment without being frightened, anxious and self-conscious of someone being that close to me physically. I've never had sex before, but I understand it's vital to have at least a yearly appointment even if you're a virgin. Does anyone have any advice that may help? I would be very grateful.


I don't have any advice but I can complete sympathise with you on this!
I'm in the same situation as you are.

In NZ, doctors say that when a female reachers the age of 20, they should see a gyno every 2-3 years. I am 4 years away from being that age (thank god!), but yet I still freak out at the thought of it.
In all honestly, I would rather die than have someone do that to me. But thats just my opinion.
_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
VioletClementine
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 127
Location: New England, USA

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in the same situation as you a few months ago. Even though I'd started having sex with my boyfriend about two months prior to the appointment, I was still really self-conscious about being prodded at, poked at, et cetera.

In my experience, it's not painful at all--it just feels kind of weird. There are big concentrations of nerve endings in some areas of the 'feminine parts' and very few in others. It's really not that bad.

And it's over very quickly. If anything, just count to yourself when the doctor is examining you. Say rhymes inside your head, repeat a mantra...whatever you have to do to keep yourself calm.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ClosetAspy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Age: 57
Posts: 384

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have vaginismus/vulvodynia (vaginal spasm, pain at the vulvar entrance) so I can totally relate to the feeling of nervousness. It was years before I was able to have a successful Pap test.

If there is a gynecologist in your area that specializes in vaginismus he or she would be a good one to go to as they especially understand nervousness. I don't know where my disorder came from, I strongly suspect a rigid religious upbringing combined with being sexually molested almost every time I went out on a date. Although I am not sure that explains the vulvodynia. I could tell you a horror story about being taken to my first Pap as a teenager but I will spare you that. Needless to say it was not successful and I never went back.

Anyway, I found a gynecologist who specializes in vaginismus and she was successful in performing a Pap test and it did not hurt at all, it just tickled. She said that I am built a little differently than most women (apparently my vagina slants at a different angle--she said (and I am not kidding) that I have a monkey pelvis). She also used a pediatric speculum which is not quite so big and she warmed it before using. So that might also help.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Anemone
Unicorn
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 49
Posts: 1407
Location: Montreal, for now

PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My doctor uses a pediatric speculum for me, too, but I have to remind him each time. For some reason most doctors reflexively pull out the largest size of speculum (there are two adult sizes), and many don't have the pediatric size on hand, but if you ask in advance, and you're small enough, they can go with the smallest size. You can also take a sedative in advance if you really have problems with stress/pain but still need the test. And of course you can always refuse to participate, regardless of what people say. It's your body, and knowing you have final say can take a lot of the stress off.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
AnnieDog
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 158
Location: New England

PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A baseline exam is good to get. Each woman has to get their first exam sometime - just make it clear and they should go slower, tell you what they will poke next, etc. In some ways, it is like getting a physical + throat culture - some prodding, minor invasion, uncomfortable, but short.

If you are in the US, you may hear the party line that you have to have an exam and pap smear every year. This is negotiable - talk to your doctor. It may not be required if you aren't sexually active in ANY way and you are under a particular age. I was able to keep it (and other exams) to every 3 years for a long time.
_________________
Apologies if I sound judgmental, preachy, dictatorial, offensive or overly rigid. Constructive criticism via PM is welcome.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Chibi_Neko
Want a Cookie
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 1884
Location: Newfoundland, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had my first pap test when I was 21, I was very scared and asked a lot of people about it. I made sure that I had a woman do it, and the clamp she had was a slim plastic one, the doctor I have now has a large metal one.

The first time I had it done I was still a virgin, and the nurse was hesitant to do it. Because I was very nervous, I tensed up and thus made it a little painful. Relaxing helped a lot, but having pap tests since then are now a breeze, still don't like the whole 'being so exposed' thing, but the actual test is now a sinch.
_________________
Humans are intelligent, but that doesn't make them smart.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Women's Discussion   

 
Read more Articles on Wrong Planet



Wrong Planet is a Registered Trademark.
Copyright 2004-2014, Wrong Planet, LLC and Alex Plank. Alex does public speaking for Autism.

Advertise on Wrong Planet

Alex Hotchalk / Glam 

Alex Plank  Aspie Affection 

Terms of Service - You must read this as a user of Wrong Planet | Privacy Policy

Subscribe: RSS Feed  Wrong Planet News  Wrong Planet Forums




fine art