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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 52
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:32 pm    Post subject: Humiliated by boss Reply with quote

Maybe for my aspiness, maybe for my conscienciousness, I don't know why but my boss humiliates me extremely much all day, every day. He's removed me from any jobs that he deems might be a bit fun for me, yells at me all day that I'm a good for nothing, has taken away any authority / independence / creativity I had in my job and is constantly looking for new ways to hurt me, or rather I should say "punish" me. He has nothing to complain about so he invents serious complaints, such as tardiness (I'm never late), extreme laziness (I'm the hardest working employee in the dept.), etc etc. He threatens to fire me every single day. He demeans me in front of other people on purpose, to diminish my image in the company. Just a couple months ago I got a prize for being one of the best employees in the dept, now I've been treated like this almost ever since. I don't know what to do. Being constantly humiliated is painful and discouraging. I used to love my work, now I don't care about it one bit.

I'm posting this on this forum because I'm hoping for support from people who know what it's like to not be able to just get up and leave - or to fight the system - because at my age (46), finding another job in any area of work would be practically impossible.
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zghost
oh hi there
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 1474
Location: Southeast Texas

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, I don't know what to tell you.
He sounds like a big bully that enjoys picking on you because you won't stand up to him.
But if you did, maybe he would fire you? I see why you don't want to.

Is there anyone higher up in the company you could file a complaint with? He needs to realize this isn't right.
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 52
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Location: Middle East

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't complain because I've no proof. He'd deny everything, higher ups would side with him, witnesses would shut up, and I'd be fired for making "false accusations".

I don't understand what he wants from me, why he treats me this way and why he doesn't fire me.
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Wilco
Toucan
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Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 293
Location: Netherlands, Noord-Holland

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

why not quit and look for another place where you can do what you did before this all happened?
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zghost
oh hi there
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 1474
Location: Southeast Texas

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a problem boss once.
Finally I just talked to him. It went something like this:
"I know you don't like me and that's okay, I don't care, but I deserve to be treated with the same respect as everybody else here."

Funny thing was, after that he started being cool with me.



As far as the "false accusations" goes, you can always threaten to sue for wrongful termination.
Or how about a tape recorder, or something similar? Then you would have proof to show his superiors.


You got a prize for being the best, so obviously the higher ups like you and reconize you're a good worker. Seriouly, talk to them. This is harassment.
Sure he'll say it's all in fun, he's only kidding, but if you're not finding it enjoyable then it's unacceptable and it should stop.
You could even phrase it that way, that you know he's joking but it upsets you and you want it to stop, and want to be treated in a professional manner.


It won't end until you either act or quit. Decide which you prefer.
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velodog
Glock armorer of the Aspie Elite
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Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Posts: 1565

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate scumbags like this, I have been very good at making them pay for their fun in various ways even if it hurt me as well. I do understand the situation of not being able to afford to leave a job, I am not in that situation but I don't like hearing about you in it Greentea since I relate so well to you as my pre DX generation sister. All I can do here is tell you I would like to be there to destroy the S.O.B. for you. Twisted Evil
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penny07960
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 50
Posts: 154
Location: US - right coast

PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:58 pm    Post subject: i am mystified Reply with quote

After my first reading of your post, i thought you were in a consensual S&M relationship with your boss.

Clearly he enjoys demeaning you (the "S" part). And the fact that you tolerate it made me think you enjoyed some aspect of being humiliated (the "M").

Why do you say "because of my age" that you can't get other work? What do you do? Model underware?

46 is an age prime experience, where the deficits associated with old age have not yet kicked in. Unless an employer is looking for a sex-object (I'm sorry: "receptionist" with "front-office" characteristics) I don't see why "46" would be a significant drawback. (Now, at age 56 I think you will have a problem - employers are looking at the ticking clock of retirement.)

Please enlighten me!

"44" and still in demand
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psykochiken
Emu Egg
Emu Egg


Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the taperecorder suggeston back it up with any data on how hard you work/arrival time

might not work but you will have stood up to him, and that is all that mattes

P.s. people are very politically correct these days, play up the AS to get sympathy and or away from your boss
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Bozewani
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Mar 04, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 514

PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greentee, I am not 30 years old and older, but I used to have a job at an amusement park which was a distance from my house.

The bosses, believed that all employees were subserviant to the boss and the boss had omnipotent power to order us around.

One particular boss, who was always very reserved when communicating with managers attacked people emotionally and did bullshit humilations to employees.

Everything was overly dramatic, (I guess that's an amusement park) in a negative way, if you miss a spot, not out of malice or laziness, but out of simply not noticing, he would attribute it to malice/laziness.

Moreover, all your life was based on the amusement park, you had no other life, in the mentality of the bosses.

I will PM you about this (if you like) , and offer you my suggestions, but number one is find another job if you can, no matter if it pays you lower, I rather being paid lower then suffer constant and unnecessary humilations.
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Frosty
Sea Gull
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Age: 51
Posts: 201
Location: Twentytwo inches in front monitor.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps start looking for another job.

Bosses rarely get fired or removed.

At least that is my current pln!

G'luck!

Smile
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y1999Jonathan
Butterfly
Butterfly


Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cant you sue? is there somebody ahead of him that you can talk to? most co's are scared of showing discrimination due to legal claims so confront him.
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Phoenix


Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 52
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are no laws against employee abuse in our country, as I said before.

Today I talked to HR. She said that there's nothing against me, except my boss doesn't like me, and if one's boss doesn't like one, one has to be fired - it's as simple as that. She promised to try and find out what bothers my boss about me (since my boss won't tell me) and so I can stay in the company if I stop doing whatever bothers my boss. The chances that my boss will back down from firing me are ultra slim, though.
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JacobV
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Sep 17, 2012
Posts: 162

PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2013 3:15 am    Post subject: Re: Humiliated by boss Reply with quote

Greentea wrote:
Maybe for my aspiness, maybe for my conscienciousness, I don't know why but my boss humiliates me extremely much all day, every day. He's removed me from any jobs that he deems might be a bit fun for me, yells at me all day that I'm a good for nothing, has taken away any authority / independence / creativity I had in my job and is constantly looking for new ways to hurt me, or rather I should say "punish" me. He has nothing to complain about so he invents serious complaints, such as tardiness (I'm never late), extreme laziness (I'm the hardest working employee in the dept.), etc etc. He threatens to fire me every single day. He demeans me in front of other people on purpose, to diminish my image in the company. Just a couple months ago I got a prize for being one of the best employees in the dept, now I've been treated like this almost ever since. I don't know what to do. Being constantly humiliated is painful and discouraging. I used to love my work, now I don't care about it one bit.

I'm posting this on this forum because I'm hoping for support from people who know what it's like to not be able to just get up and leave - or to fight the system - because at my age (46), finding another job in any area of work would be practically impossible.


I had a boss that was very similar to that. Except he treats most employees like crap. He yells, gets dramatic, he believes in using old equipment and "elbow grease" (hard manual scrubbing) to save as much money as possible.. to the detriment of his employees who often end up with calluses on their hands and all sorts of skin irritations. The reason he does it is because there are plenty of broke uneducated people who are willing to do just about anything for a low salary. We are the underdogs of society and we will be treated like crap by almost everyone who hires us unless we go to college and get a degree. This is just how things are in America. You are not seen as an employee, you are seen as a working farm animal. They have you do any work they want, they pay(feed you) anything they want... i have no doubt that you can't even pay rent and food with what you earn... at least work-animals get food and shelter. Blue collar work like ours used to be protected by work unions that made sure people got paid well and treated decently. Corporate America made away with those, condemning those of us who didnt have the ability or support we needed to go to college. Our fate is a sad one. We are expected to put 100% of our time and efforts accomplishing other people's goals. And the worst part of it is we will get treated like crap and get paid crap till the end.

We need some sort of aspie union/organization to help us live better quality lives... this is just sickening
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kelgoldenhearttx
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse


Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Posts: 41
Location: USA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I have been humiliated by my boss at the last place I worked. He told me that I was going to be promoted but did not. He told someone else that I had no leadership skills and was not capable of running my own unit.
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johnnie3838
Hummingbird
Hummingbird


Joined: Aug 28, 2013
Posts: 24
Location: California

PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

I feel very bad (angry, too) about your situation.
Your sidebar profile says you're in the middle east, so I'm imagining there are few resources and laws to protect workers' and women's rights?

Is your boss male? If so, that might explain a lot. Is this a typical ME male bullying ME female situation?
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