I might have lost my mind

Perambulator · Raven Joined: Feb 10, 2008 Age: 24 Posts: 114

Half a year ago I changed my name to a fictional character's name. I did it because I had a dream in which I was presented with the dilemma of either changing my name to the name of the second incarnation of Jesus Christ or staying as I was and damning us all to nothingness. So I chose to to change my name to grant us all eternal life and light.

The name I've chosen isn't a name people would naturally conclude is the one for Jesus' secord carnation. But the thing is although I think I've lost my mind I'm safe. I'm not a threat to anyone including myself. Therefore I don't see that there's any need to tell any doctor about this apparent loss of my mind.

Of course this role is a lot of responsibility. I find it difficult. I have to keep trying to improve myself and I don't think I'm doing a great job so far. But amazing things have happened. Since changing my name I've began to have a lot of control over what's going on everywhere. I understand the broad nature of everything though this is the scary part, not that much of the fine lines.

I wonder if this is what losing your mind is like. I saw a documentary on television about how the so-called "Schizophrenia" (which many forward thinking scientists no longer think exists) within a few years typically "destroying" most of a patient's mind. But this is hyperbole, I think. How could a brain be destroyed?

On the other hand maybe my brain is slowly disintegrating since I had the dream. Half a year has passed thus far and the documentary claimed it took a few years for the deterioration to reach its nadir. I advise people to change their names. Names have a lot of relevance over people's lives. That's something I need to get round to telling people.

Your name in entirety determines the majority of the trajectory of your life. It's never too late to change it I suppose. You could do like I did. I just warn you, you might begin to feel like you've lost your mind in the way I do. It's just sometimes I feel strange as if I don't know who I am. People can think I'm peculiar for having the same name as a character on a popular TV show. I forgive them for they know not what they do.